Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Got Kava?

What the heck is kava? Is that some kind of milk? Since the title ask "Got Kava?" Well my friends it's not milk.Wikipedia's definition can be found here >> (Kava Is..) a detailed
description of kava. Among different polynesian cultures kava is prepared in a variety of ways.  Kava (called 'ava)in Samoa, sole purpose serves as  a beverage,
Consumed at all important gatherings and (SamoaAvaCermony).
So why am I blogging about this drink?
Well I'm not going to become a tribal chief anytime soon. lol sorry :( Nor am I looking for any kava customers to purchase this product. But what I want to do is educate you on "my opinion" of kava. Why I feel this drink shouldn't be consumed. Just like I expressed on how I feel about
 (f-bombs hmmm.).
Well this is my outlook on kava and how it affects me. Here in Salt Lake City this beverage is so popular. People have kava clubs, they sell it in grocery stores, over websites and drink kava anywhere they can get it. What was once a traditional ceremonial drink to celebrate the
beautiful polynesian culture. Has now become a house hold name for polynesians as well as for non-polynesians alike. That have now opt to abuse the beauty in this tradition and taint the meaning of fai kava. Individuals that have allowed their addiction to lead them from one poor choice to another. Planting thoughts that eventually turn into actions by young adults. Who choose to have premarital sex or sex like acts. 
Intoxicated kava drinkers who will degrade women in how they address or speak to these females. Usually dressed up in a joke or flattery in order to charm these women.
Women that are either drinking in the circle. Or others that are referred to as  Toua's. 
One choosen woman during these mixes, that is given the responsiblity to serve the kava. Which can and has led many people, to commit the most unthinkable choices made known to man. When an individual decides to cheat on their spouse by attending these kava mixes. Because of the affect that kava has on their mind & bodies has taken full control.  Some of the very reasons why a percentage of church leaders of the Lds faith. That have participated in these kava mixes have lost out.  Have loss their callings, temple recommends and families by choosing kava over their reponsibilities.  And those are extreme examples of why, I don't agree with drinking kava.
And yet on the flipside I have also witnessed the less threatening side of kava mixes. Why people aren't against the idea. Because for them it's just sitting in a circle. Listening to people jam out through song, sharing stories of the good times shared and relaxing with hilarious company. I get it! And understand how easy it can be. Getting lured into these not so extreme mixes.
But here is the problem whether your of an  lds  faith or not. Your mixes may start off innocent at first but as time passes. It has a high potential of becoming an extreme mix. 
Even if it doesn't get as extreme, as in losing a spouse to adultry. It still provides that temptation. When your at a mix, your unattend spouse could cheat on you. Even if your the most faithful fai kava drinker in the world. While away have you considered that or the following.
 What if something happens to your spouse or children? Someone attacks your spouse, a wife or child getting raped or worse of all someone kills your family.
Because you weren't there to protect them, let alone protect your marriage. 
All because you placed your addiction over them. It always happens to those who arrogantly hold the notion. "Ahh that wouldn't happen to me." Then when it does, tears of regret and anguish grows. And then what? Kava drink your misery away for a unwise choice? Food for thought :)
So because certain members of my family and friends love drinking kava and I don't. 
 I wanted to document how this trend
has caused my perspective to revolve
full circle. And to make it clear of where I stand on this issue of kava. To dispell any confusion that may be lurking around.
 A couple years ago, one of my sisterfren's
called to catch up. I happen to ask where she was hanging out. And she replied "Oh I'm at a mix." I flipped out & demanded that she leave. In total panic attack mode,wishing I could reach through the phone. Just to pull her away from that mix. I was crazed because I didn't want her to get addicted.I just didn't feel that was a place for anyone.

Well fast forward to the present year 2011 and a week before General Conference.
Another one of my sisterfrens came to visit me here in SLC. It had been at least 2 months since we last saw each other. Well she goes "Oh I'm going to so and so's house and we're probably going to mix." I had missed her as well as  the rest of our sisterfrens so much. That I didn't want to end our bonding night. So I had decided to attend this mix.
And then another one the following Saturday.
The night before Sunday Morning General Conference.
*SHOCKING*
For sure for some of you reading. That I'd be at a mix. Two mixes in one week for that matter. But maybe its not so surprising for the rest of you. Because well, you don't know me and how I've felt about this topic. :) 
Which is totally irrelevant right now.
 The moral of the story is "free agency".
How do we use it wisely? unwisely? or how we don't use it at all. Because some where in people's minds. They have allowed others to choose for them. Will I go? or will I stay in a job? Will I date so and so? Or pass them up for someone else? And in this case will I fai kava? Or will I choose for me, to stop. Not quit! But completely STOP fai kavaing. 
 And people have foolishly allowed life choices like these to be decided by others. Their mother,father, siblings,friends, so called friends. etc and so on and so forth. When in reality we should be making those critical decisions on our own, for ourselves and no one else.
Because it makes a big difference of where those choices lead you.
Even if it means your choice leads you to stand alone. Because it's not a crowd pleaser type of choice. It's always smarter to act rather than to allow others to act for YOU!! Assuming you were blessed
with your own brain, right?
 So as I was bonding with these family members and friends. I'd have to say initially it felt uncomfortable. Because they know how I feel about kava mixes. And I knew they were feeling judged. Not only because of my choice to pass on drinking. The biggest point I wanted to put across.Was that I loved them despite their choices. Because bottom line their my family. I really don't know what might've been running through their minds & hearts. But here are a couple of reactions from that night.
"Hmmm Ova now don't judge me."(repeated for hrs)
"Ova it's ok, it's not that bad right?"
"Your not going to die,
now you can come over every weekend
even if you don't mix."
"O' I'm probably going to have a
couple of cups, just to let you know."
"Because so and so is going to mix
I'm going to mix."
That last comment prompted me to ask my sisterfren "Why would you mix just because of that person?"
My motivate wasn't to make them feel guilty or attack their will power. But I wanted them to open their eyes.To see they were giving others permission to strip them from their agency.  Giving into peer pressure.
Her reply was " I don't know, I just want to."
It made me sad because I never ever want, anyone I meet or love. To  ever feel they can't be themselves around me. But I do want them to remember. They can always be better. It's never to late too be more of who God sees & knows who they are to become.
Blogging about it now. Reminds me that people want to be accepted, they want to be around people their comfortable with no matter the cost.Whether it keeps them from their salvation or not. People will do what they want at the end. Because life trials will weigh them down from living steadfast. And sometimes giving up or being relax about living standards is easier to do. Instead of fighting the good fight and keeping the course. Because people get tired of being
misjudged and not accepted for their choices.
So they live below their potential. This doesn't just go for kava drinkers. It has to be said for all of us. We all at one point in our lives will live below our potential. Because when we don't feel right, we don't do right. Sometimes provoked by ourselves being to hard on ourselves. And at other times provoked because others aren't living the golden rule towards us. How are you being less judgemental and more accepting?
Or are you shameless individuals
casting stones at people for their choices?
Who are you pulling down?
 Who are you lifting up?
 I pray we overcome our own personal addictions & unrighteous judgements.
That your aware of your worth & take charge of the change you are seeking. One step at time. Towards getting stronger spiritually. Asking yourselves; Have you lifted someone up today? Challenging all of us to look up to God, ask for help and get with God's Program.  Not kava or anything else tripping you up in life. If you can conceive that you can overcome an
addiction and work with the Lord.
There's no doubt that he will get you through it all. Got Heavenly Father?
Well you can because (YouMatter!)

2 comments:

  1. YAY...there is actually one person out there that feels the same as I when it comes to KAVA(lol)..Bottom line, we all have loved ones that "fai kava" from time to time & all we can do as non kava drinkers is shake our heads. Those especially who hold temple recommends, already know what they are doing to their very own salvation...so to feel bad for them? NO NOT ME. But it is their "AGENCY" to do as they please because it is "FREE" in that sense however it comes with "CONSEQUENCES"..so it really isn't "FREE"! I as you do love my family members that do fai kava, & trust I am their constant reminder of the downfalls of KAVA! Yes I've also sat in circles because of the same reason, some my close friends fai kava but...they have been somewhat my protectors throughout growing up because, when this happens they always make sure whoever is serving the kava don't even think to ask me if I want one. So, I guess you can say I've been blessed with very great friends who know & understand my values & know that I don't judge them because of theirs...Sometimes not preaching or saying one word is all it takes, leading by example indeed is a great thing. My family & friends that fai kava know me very well & know that they too, teach me so MUCH by example...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks sis.. I love what you said about sometimes not preaching or saying a word but leading by example can be a greater example to set. Reminds me of "quiet dignity" which I learned in the MTC.. Good point :)

    ReplyDelete