Sunday, December 30, 2012

Pretty Little Lies

In 25 hrs from now it will be 2013! Happy New Year! During the last five days I was fortunate to catch the flu.LOL So during my process of getting better. I've also had a lot of time to reflect on the passing year. The ups,downs and how those experiences have molded me into who I am today. Its been an exhausting year esp Nov -Dec making July & August the most refining on me emotionally. Grateful that September-Oct rebuilt the spirit I thought I was losing And all the while God taught me about his timing,to trust him and no matter what I'm tested, Giving Up Is Never an option
Never!!! And because he spoke & amp; speakes those truths into my ears to strengthen my soul. When everyone else walked out on me. And he didnt fail me & Because he did that for me he also brought to light the "pretty little lies" I was telling myself about myself. And noy only that but the"Pretty little lies" other ppl were telling me, in order for them to get their way or that they could manipulate me to thinking I am who they say that I am but little do most people know about me til now.Is that I'm not as stupid as they may think I am and if I come off as so. Its only a way for me to distinguisah who really respects & loves me. And who's out to just make a mockery of who I am, why I love the way I do & what I'm all about. I'm just as imperfect as the next woman. I'm a saint that sins but I do what it takes to always rewrite my wrongs to make things right. And if people can't see that than they really don't want to understand me because if they knew any better, they would know I live & die by truth & repent when necessary, from the lies I have weakly expressed out of unwise human tendancies. All I have to say is I know better, I know who I'm for, who's for me, I know pretty little lies will get me no where & that lying cripples my progress amp; in the incoming year 2013 truth will be the core motivation of how I will live. Even if it means walking alone in that incredible goal to becoming better than I've ever been before. Pretty little lies like my favorite poet Ben would say, Please take yourexit to the back door. The old Ova no longer resides here no'mo. 2012 stretched me leaps & bounds & I will forever be grateful but I'm ready for new adventures so cmon 2013 its time to live it up :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Love On Top

  • It's been a very busy couple of weeks & I've been dying to blog. From wanting to jot down my progressive exercising w/my sister Sela Tukuafu, to accepting invitations to sing solos in choir by sister sina in order to
    overcome my fears plus being more patient overall. I just haven't been able to sit still to detail these events. But what I've learned thusfar is loving myself, taking care of myself and living in a state of becoming versus being truly does help me to obtain joy. My sister Rosie asked me recently "What do you want for Christmas."
    And w/o a second thought I blurted out "A man!" and began to
    laugh because though I said it & thought that's exactly what I wanted. I took another minute to think about the question. And this amazing feeling came over me. I have everything I could ever want. My testimony, healthy family and a home filled w/love and protection. And even though my husband is on delay and though certain relationships could be better than they are & it wouldn't hurt to own certain electronics. Nothing could compare to those blessings I have in the family that drives me bonkers at times but I wouldn't trade in for anything. And that's the best gift I could ever ask from God. "I'm not the same and am ready for 2013 & whatever may come I willl love it. Cuz my God has put me 1st so He's at the top of my love list. LOVE YOU & MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL! :)

Friday, November 9, 2012

The Alchemist



So I’m in the middle of reading this book called “The Alchemist” and I have to say if you haven’t already picked it up, you should.

It’s by Paulo Coelho and it draws out a journey of a young man named Santiago trying to find his “treasure” through his homeland Andalusian through Spain to Egypt. I love the book so far because it’s basically about real life. Individuals searching for their “Personal Legend” or in other words “Purpose of Life.”

And along his journey understanding “beginners luck” , reality of opposition in all things does bring good “omens” at the end if you allow yourself to see those “trials” as good “omens” or what’s now considered “blessings.” It’s a story that you can read and think “Oh I knew that” or that totally relates to my spirituality and etc. So like I said if you haven’t gotten a chance to read it. You should & it’s only 174 pages. Such a simple story that can leave life changing impressions on how you perceive your own life purpose. So to tie that little introduction into my present “life happens.” I’d have to say life is and as it should be right now. I’m walking around a little less stressed, a little less hurt and above all a little less angry at people I have no control over. And all credit goes to Heavenly Father taking my heart & reassuring that joy is in the journey & that like Santiago in the Alchemist. And all of my treasures are what I have in my life today. Gratitude makes a big difference in a world of chaos.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Yellow…



Growing up I’ve gone through my phazes of favorite colors. When we lived in California & spent our summers in Lake George, Ny performing Polynesian shows from June-Aug into mid- September
my favorite color was white. Representing my devotion to God & wanting to be the purest person found on earth. Though I struggled with my passive aggressive attitude & occasional mood swings. Lol A revealation I was given by my best childhood friend Min Hee Kim. Truth hurts but never better to hear the truth then a straight up lie from people that claim they love you. When in reality they don’t and would rather you walk around looking like a fool. Kudos to best friends.

We then moved to Salt Lake City, Utah from Gardena, California so white was my favorite color up until, I hit my mid-teens & obsessed over the colors black & blue. Representing my rebellious teen years & for idolizing Janet Jackson. Plus the fact that my sister Tina Mapu, absolutely loved the color red & being the meanie I was back then, (lol) red to me was so over-rated. Not to mention as Polynesian show dancers we had to wear bright red lip-stick. So I wasn’t very fond of the color. And time began to pass by a little more quickly & before I knew it I was maturing in attitude, spirituality & womanhood. And I went from the dark child off of the Addams family to Legally Blonde “Om I love pink, that’s what’s in, hip hip hooray!” And all of a sudden I was wearing more pastels, loving the royal color purple & even managed to get over my snap judgement of wearing red. Who would’ve thought right?

Well now in my mid-singlehood, processing through the many changes of letting go of people, remembering love ones that have passed away constantly, witnessing people I love gain spirituality for themselves & progressing in that spirituality, watching my nephews & nieces grow up so quickly, enduring trials of drama, getting my feeting more committed at working out at the gym with my sister Sela Tukuafu, centering myself in my own conversion & eating up God’s word more fully to keep myself right in his glory.

I can’t say it enough how grateful I am for the simple color of yellow. That represents for me right now new beginnings, hope, retaining true friendships that build me up & loving humor. And though I still don’t have everything that I want & have made a trillion mistakes with a span of four months, concerning all aspects
of my life. This color yellow reminds me no matter how much I fall into a rut or whatever. The color yellow reminds me also that it’s alright, dust yourself off & restarting is way better than never starting up again.

Alma 32:15-16, Alma 32:21-24, Alma 32: 26-37, Alma 32:40-43

“Yea, he that truly humbleth himself, and repenteth of his sins, and endureth to the end, the same shall be blessed-yea, much more blessed than they who are compelled to be humble because of their exceeding poverty, Therefore,blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble; or rather, in other words, blessed is he that believeth without stubbornness of heart, yea, without being brought to know the word, or even compelled to know, before they will believe.

21)And now as I said concerning faith- faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true,

22)And now, behold, I say unto you, and I would that ye should remember, that God is merciful unto all who believe on his name; Therefore he desireth, in the first place, that ye should believe, yea even on his word.

For more info visit www.lds.org

Saturday, November 3, 2012

White Chicks

I think I’ve talked about this before but if I haven’t just look at this as a blog review. So before I get into my real blog topic, here’s some background on how this post was inspired.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always loved African American people, Asian people, Spanish people and any other culture, that I’ve been able to learn from & gain something by the similarities & differences of our two cultures comparing how we were raised.

As a child you could catch me caught up in tryna join my Junior High drill team in California with the black kids, because I loved dancing. And I swore I was related to the Jackson family. Not Rev. Jackson but Janet Jackson & the Jackson 5. Just in case you were confused. Tryna drop it I was hot heeheee…



Up to chilling with my Asian neighbors playing four square,handball and strolling up & down the streets of Gardena, California. Like some bebe kids in grocery carts, eating their sushi,drawing on hello kitty stationary & watching my best friend Min Hee journal write in an English Journal & a Korean one. Because her dad didn’t want her to forget her roots. Finally enchanted by movies like La Bamba, falling in love with stories like Selena & dying laughing at comedians like George Lopez.

Growing up as a California girl it was & still is in my blood how much I love ethnic minority races. So why am I talking about this & have yet mentioned anything about “White Chicks or in my language palagi teines or palagi’s? Well here is where it ties in at least I hope it does & makes sense to you the point I’m attempting to make..I’m reading a book called “The Help” talking about when African American’s were beginning to gain their rights in America. The story entails about 2 black maids & a palagi girl that wants to write about their opinion of “What it feels like to be a maid.” And the process it takes her to get them to agree. Anyway if you want to know more you’ll have to buy the book and read it.

“The Help” By Kathyrn Stockett

So anyway the reason, I don’t really praise & get all too excited about palagi people or women, isn’t that I don’t respect or get inspired by them. Because I do Helen Keller a blind woman that achieved so much in her life despite or aliment, my former Relief Society President Rolinda Guneather who could serve at a drop of a dime and my bestie Angela Addy who could make me laugh w/out even saying a word. So the problem was never that I couldn’t find palagi women or people to be inspired by. But the dilemma is among the Polynesian People there are two types of palagi’s.

Palagi’s that don’t stand up for themselves & do anything they can to be accepted by Polynesian people. From gossiping about Anyone & everyone that particular Polynesian person doesn’t care for, to buying their companionship with expensive material items, to feeding them for whatever, whenever. Some might deem me as a hater because I may be passed up on that type of treatment. But there’s one thing to accept that type of treatment & give back to them equally. But it’s a whole different story if your just the taker 24-7.

Moving onto the 2nd type of Palagi among a sea of Polynesian. This is the type that knows themselves & has self-respect for themselves. They call Polys on their BS, excuse the Chinese..lol These type of palagi’s, freely give but also are very upfront, about when they begin to feel taken advantage. Should that sort of behavior from a Polynesian friend, would ever occur. And when most needed, these type of palagi’s, show up with full support to whatever crisis maybe happening. With willing hearts & helping hands.

Those are the types of Palagi’s, I appreciate & value most in my life. And so like the book “The Help” where prejudice against African American’s are so obvious. I feel today that type of behavior, is still true regarding the way majority of Polynesians act towards palagi people.With comments like “Oh their tripping cause their palagi, don’t act like that cause the palagi, or better yet are you for real? He’s/She’s dating him, they must be fia’palagi (wanna be white) if their dating out of our race. I strongly believe & know that an individual’s behavior, actions & who they date shouldn’t be judge by their race. Shouldn’t even be judge in my mind, if we lived in a perfect world. But because we all judge.

I feel that behavior is a choice by what’s in our hearts & minds. How we react is the same process to me. However race has little to nothing to do with whether someone chooses to treat others with respect & dignity. But again I’m but one that is only this sensitive about “White chicks” I’m sure because I have family members that are white & every other color over a rainbow. And I wouldn’t trade these different family members in for anything. Hopefully our Polynesian people will do less to degrade palagi’s and other cultures in the future. As we seek as a people to gain & retain the same type of respect & love from other cultures of the world.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Singled Out

So this past vacation to Vegas was such a needed trip. I could breathe and relax

without too much worry about anything or anyone. And to evaluate where

my love life is currently. Omgeezzzy before all of my discovery updates on that

issue. Can I just say "Pitch Perfect" was one of my most recently found favorite

movies of all time. There are few crazy scenes but overall for my daily

laughter quota, that movie exceeded it, to last a few years. lol

A must see if you can handle the crazy scenes.

Anyway, back to the subject of my life.. "Young & the Loveless."lol



So I got to talking to one of my sisters in Vegas about all of my most

recent past crushes who've just got married, past crushes that have

returned & recent crushes that should just get crushed.lol

Nah but I was able to share how I use to perceive the words "patience" &

"waiting" as swear words when people would say things like;

"Ova you gotta be patient" or "Ova don't rush it's better to wait."



Now I understand that people that are married don't always

get that being "Singled Out" or perceived as being "Picky" isn't

easy. But what I tend to wonder is when their expressing their

snap opinions on our relationship status. Do they actually understand

that we don't enjoy being single as much as they don't enjoy not having

us on their level? So we can have our children grow up & play with each other?

I won't go into further comparison on the issue of how I feel versus what

married people feel about why we're still single. But I would ask all those

of you who are married or in a relationship that are currently reading this post.

To take the following in consideration before opening your mouths.



Rather than teasing your single friends & family members about their status.

Constantly overbaring us with comments like

"Have you tried www.dot.findsomebody.yourNotgetting.fwdslash.anyyounger.com"

instead of all those nonsense comments that cause us to feel desparate.

I would suggest you asking "Hey what can I do to help you find someone

suitable for your taste." or "You know what (insert name) I will make sure to

add your name to my personal & family prayers so you can endure the wait

on your future spouse." Comments that uplift would be more effective than the

usual old jokes that do nothing for a single person. Do I sound overly sensitive

about the matter? Maybe... But the point I'm trying to make is that you never

know what another person's battle is & when you don't speak from a place of

love than no one progresses. Whether its to someone who's been single forever,

someone who's been recently divorced, cheated on or married for 45 yrs plus.

We never know how our words & behavior will be received by the other person.



In discussing this topic with my sister in Vegas we've come to a conclusion we're

ready for the next step. But in the meanwhile we'll be happy in our singleness

& do things that truly helps us to grow & serve. Two months left in 2012 and what

better way to end it out other than to be grateful over depressed on this matter?

Overland Afo the one who got away from being loveless & knowing she is loved.

Guilt Kills




We all have instances in our lives that causes us to act out and display moments of weak behavior. Or in other words, actions that portray our less than best selves. For example getting cut off city streets while driving & reacting with road rage.
Getting offended by anyone's attitude & replying with a snap comment. And the most common reaction "The silent Treatment," when feelings become hurt. There are countless ways of acting out in poor behavior. And if your a really talented person, lol.
You can actually act out in multiple emotional outbreaks
at once. Not that I'm speaking from personal experience
at all..lol  I've learned that there are two types of sorrow that can
either help you let go of guilt or cause you to hold onto
that emotion until your old and gray.
The first is feeling guilt of a "damned soul," meaning your
only motivation to change your behavior is because you
got caught. Like when kids get caught for being rude
to another kid & only says sorry because they didn't
know you were watching the entire time. They feel guilt
for getting caught in the act of their poor behavior but
they don't feel guilt for what they did.

Whereas for guilt felt by "Godly sorrow," means the very
same kid that got caught in being rude in the previous
story changes his whole heart. He recognizes you caught
him, he apologizes to prove that he will do better
and he vows to himself & God he won't repeat his poor
behavior. In an ideal world we would all follow the "Godly
sorrow" senerio way more than the "damned soul" one.

But we're human & 99.9% of the time can & have been
know to be selfish. Until we hit rock bottom & are
reminded all could've been avoided if we conducted
ourselves better as children of God. But my point today
is to say we all have control of how we will be affected
by guilt. And speaking on a spiritual sense & to those
who are wondering whether their worthy for the mercy
of God. I'd like to declare LOUDLY! YOU ARE WORTHY
BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS CHILD. It's simple as that & if
you really want to feel his love. Then looking to the people
that will build you up & not allow you to live with anymore
excuses of why you've stayed away for so long.

Your sister,brother,parent and not even your spouse can
force you to come back to God & be healed by the atonement
of God. The only person that can save you is CHRIST & he
can only save you if you bring yourself to his mercy through
prayer & local church leaders. That's the process & his
atonement is here for you. Don't let the wrong guilt kill you!
Don't let the wrong people guide you!

Family Time

Just got back into Salt Lake City, Utah this morning at 4 am & was so grateful, I had the opportunity to be in Las Vegas, Nevada this past weekend.

My grandmother Aimiti Mapuolesega Afo just turned 91 yrs old.
I arrived in Las Vegas, Nevada last Friday morning around 3am.
While entering city limits I had this empty feeling come over me. I was excited to be able to reunite with all my cousins, uncles and aunties. But the empty feeling came over me because its been forever since I've been Vegas.
 However the reality that our brother Tuau wouldn't be here to celebrate with us makes every family gathering bittersweet. And I can't help but mention him through every
family event we are apart of & this trip was harder than prior ones. It's been 4 years, 7months & 24 days since he's returned to Heavenly Father. And I understand it's not health to keep such an accurate account of how long he's been gone. But no one can understand how much he meant to us while he was here & how much more he means to us now that he's progress to a different level, unless they could've met him in person. He is greatly missed & so that was pretty rough coming into this trip.

So after I was dropped off by Divine Heritage Choir as they were headed to Victorville, California for our musical fireside. Which was a huge blessing for me in getting to grandma's birthday. I worried about the choir & especially for our President Edna Aiono. Just because we haven't taken a lot of trips this year &
I knew that satan would be strong because in the mist of doing the greatest good the greatest opposition arrives. And after drafting up a list of choir rules & not being able to present those rules. I knew for sure this trip would truly

test not only Edna to the limits of toleration. But everyone who was about to attend. So as much as I worried and was tempted to try to make grandma's birthday & then rush over to California for the fireside. I got this overall confirmation that this trip was only about my family. Not to say that I don't love the choir as my family. But Heavenly Father was telling me to trust him,

let go & let other's use their agency as well as their own minds to act when he prompts them. So the control freak that I am :) I did just that & I let go & let God. After touching base with Edna while she was up in Cali, Dawn & on our way with a few other choir members opposition sure did arise. But through the power of God
the people of Victorville, California was able to be served & uplifted.

During our entire trip our sister Sala Afo was our driver,
we got to spend time with Tuau's daughter Kalee, eat sushi,panikeke,poly food churches chicken, denny nights, winchelles yummy donuts, followed by a sleepover
at our old choir president Gina Manumaleuna's home, listen to stories from my uncles & aunties about how they grew up, why they loved grandma aimiti, met our half sister danette for the first time & overall just laughed,cried & encouraged one another to live out the legacy & heritage that we've gained. I was so
humbled by being surrounded by such spiritual giants, filled with rich culture and big hearts. Also to remember our little sister Cassie Afo Key getting sealed in the Las Vegas, Temple for all time an eternity was icing on the cake.

And of course the main highlight of the this trip,
was witnessing this 91 year old woman we call grandma
aimiti feel so proud of her family. Watching her smile ear to ear of her childrens accomplishments & the humility that shone through her whole spirit. And second to none a woman, that could and can hold her own over the dance floor. She is one of kind and I'm proud that her blood runs through my veins, that one day I can live up to her example. Countless lessons in the span of just a few days that I will be implementing into every part of my soul. I love my family...

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Trust In The Lord

 
 
The last blog I posted about our sister Lisa Alaiasa on that day I had believed I would hear that she passed away.. Especially since she'd been in so much pain that prior Sunday visit. 
But our timing is never the Lord's timing & as I was about to begin my Tues. morning break at work. And as routine about to log onto facebook. My sister Tiana Skipps intercepted my log on & then proceeded to inform me that Lisa passed away. Tuesday Sept 18,2012 Lisa completed her battle of fighting against cancer. And was finally permitted to leave this life to meet our Heavenly Father & find rest in the next life.
The way was filled with emotions, motivation to be better & do better as Oprah would say. I was reunited with old choir members & just felt a sense of belonging & love. There were moments when I was uncertain if certain individuals would care to even talk to me or be around me. But because we were brought together out of the love we held & continue to hold for Lisa. Any feelings of uneasiness was quickly left behind me.
 
We started Sept 27th which was a Thursday off with a Night of Musical Celebration. Different family & friends bore testimony through music & the spoken word. Nieces & brother-in-laws performed dance numbers & refreshments were served in between all of these proceedings. And all any one could feel was joy for Lisa. Though we missed her the whole program through & she looked so beautiful in her casket. I then ended the evening catching up with my sister Tirae & always getting a night of needed laughter from her & I talking stories about our hopes & dreams.
 
Next morning in true Tirae fashion..lol We were late for the family services :) which didn't bother me like it would usually. Because I've come to understand more fully everything happens for a reason. My getting upset or impatient over things, I can't control doesn't make anything better. And it for sure doesn't speed things up. So we got to the chapel & the testimonies were done. Everyone was eating & listening to Lisa's favorite song. "I Smile" by Kirk Franklin & though we were there for a funeral. The feeling  of peace from the night before. Carried into the day that was before us. Which was witnessing Lisa's burial.
After the delicious brunch we gathered into the chapel. More testimonies & as a choir we sang "Footsteps" Kelly Tufuga, Doraleen Levao & Edna Aiono solo. It was a high point of the program because as they sang, one by one our choir members stood up in honor of our sister Lisa. And then her family joined us in the last chorus. And it was such a moving moment because it proved how much her family loves & respects us as a whole.
 
The program ended & we continued onto the burial site which was in bountiful, utah. Where another one of our sisters Bertha Samoa was buried in 2007. We had a dedicatorial prayer, closing prayer & as friends & family we sang the following. And though we still long for Lisa to be here. We knew & still know she's happy & free from the physical pains that was killing her here on earth.
 
Saturday Sept 29,2012 we had one more night of Musical Celebration for Lisa & that was a benefit concert in her honor. It was held in magna, utah at Cyprus high. More family & friends came to support & like the sweetest ending to an emotional week. We said farewell to our sister lisa & vow to continue to live by her example.
A true disciple & child of God. We are that much better as a choir & individuals for the footprints she has now left over our lives & hearts.
WE LOVE YOU LISA & WE'LL ALWAYS CONTINUE TO SMILE!
 
 

Monday, September 17, 2012

Enduring Love

It's not a secret that every post that I've ever written has been about love. The love I have for my religion, family and friends that are considered my extended family & just random things that come along the way.
 And over the period of a few weeks I've had the opportunity to witness love in its purest forms.
The daily moments with my nieces & nephews. And how their simple faces can melt my heart from a bad mood into a good one in seconds.The never ending search for my eternal companion & while he's M.I.A as if he's some
P.O.W in a foreign land.lol Through those
moments I've felt my Lord's love more evident than ever before. Especially since I just celebrated my 34th birthday. I've come into my own more & more. But the type of love I want to talk about today is the type that is so pure. That once experienced there's probably nothing like it & I'd dare to say even over a love you'd have for your own spouse. And that's the love we have for one another as brother's and sisters.
 
 
I've mentioned that our sister Lisa Alaiasa has been suffering from being ill with cancer. We've been able to visit her in the hospital, hospice unit & finally this past weekend she's returned to her home on the eastside of Salt Lake City, Utah. I've gotten to meet a lot of different people & to witness the love so many people has for Lisa. Which isn't surprising at all. She's been our longest standing "Divine Heritage Choir" president. A couple of years bfore Edna Aiono has taken charge. And being in Lisa's presence has been a life changing experience in different ways than I ever expected.. Our visit yesterday had me in awe. The fight that Lisa's kept up & has in her, her spirit that is being tried & yet she won't break & if anyone knows Lisa. They would know she's so independant that getting all this attention isn't her style. But she still finds a way to show her gratitude for all the love she's been shown. 
In moving helping her to stand out of her chair & in moving back. I had the opportunity to hold her in my arms and pass her wanting to ring our necks. Because again I thought I was some kind of  muscle woman. And in my own personal opinion kinda of failed Lisa because my muscles were sela & proof I need to go to the gym.
What I learned in that moment with Lisa,Tasi & Edna is that we can't survive this world without support. Support from God first & foremost, support from our immediate family members no matter how much they may test our patience & last but surely not least. Support from our friends that we call extended family.

And as Lisa was almost slipping out of my arms it was a testament to me that in the Lord's strength we can carry anything. But when we rely on our own strength like I tried to do. We will be quickly reminded who runs the show. Which is our Heavenly Father.. We got Lisa safely position & even though I probably could've been more gentle on her. She taught me that in the Labor of Love
it's never about me but those we serve. No matter how weak we may feel in serving at the time.
Love YOU LISA!
 
 
 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

AHHH-Mazing...

The past few weeks have been mad crazy with scattered sunshine, some thunderstorms & occassional sunbeaming blue skies. And I'm not just talking about the day to day weather. :)
 
Sept 1,2012 I turned 34 yrs old & still feel like I'm just 16..lol I spent it dancing the night away with these good friends to kick off Labor Day Weekend.
My "Sweaty Croo" was the very reason I had the best birthday outing this year. Emma Taufui, Lancer Iosefa & Dawn Taufui a set of people who can have fun no matter what or who's around. And allowing everyone to feel like their part of the "Croo Crew" even if the individual is just not that cool.. Love them!
Me & Emma @ Ihop the night before My birthday

My favorite dance partner
Me & Lancer @ Provo 220 YSA dance
Getting our Grub on after the dance
 
At the end of the night that 1st video up there was us going home. And sweet Lancer finally sang for us after all the harassing.  :)
Over the next few days I spent with my besties
Manda Johnson who made me a bomb smoothie. Giving
a listening ear to all my venting stories.
Doraleen & Tati taking time out of their lives to take me to Denny's capturing what we want out of life.
Going to church & experiencing the Mid-Singles Ward that I'm still not really feeling. Later to practice with our Choir & visit our dear sister Lisa Alaiasa at the hospital. As she continues to battle her fight against cancer.
And like an addicting foo lol revisiting my old ward
Salt Lake 2nd for Labor Day. Attending their combined
BBQ with south jordan ward. Tryna play volleyball like no ones business..lol With Emma,Lancer,Donny,Travis,
Pauli, Tati,Ester,Faye & many others. Reminding me of all the wonderful people that Heavenly Father puts in my life.
This birthday was a ride of emotions & wins.. And Im just grateful that I'm alive.


To end off my birthday with this bomb dinner with tati at Olive Garden & my nephew Baby K singing to me. I am truly blessed. God is good!

 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Who would've Thought?

Today has been an amazing day & I am soooooo grateful. After a short weekend filled with so many activities, I was blessed enough to wake up not phazed or weighed down with fatigue this morning for work.
 Last Friday night started off with what was suppose to be dance practice with my Taufui Sisters.
 Dawn & Emma, we had planned for it in order to celebrate sister Melveen & JT's eternal union.
 I know! So many weddings, right?lol
Well I have to say I'm a sucka for romance & they just looked so happy that day.
And the 2nd great moment about that day was the entertainment & none other than the best band in Utah, Island Time :) .

Love at it's best
Melveen & JT



So dance practice got cancelled & then I ended up hanging out with my sister Tatiana Skipps aka Tati & the winners of all winners lol Levy Helton Faamausili aka "Orka." (inside joke)
& we all ended up meeting with my cousin Legrand Tapusoa, Latai Pousima, Q Malauulu, Moriah Hardy & another guy at AppleBees Restaurant. That night was filled with a lot of special moments. Just sitting back to recognize how we as humans communicate. The constant battle of the sexes & how we misread alot of things between the two genders. I learned that once we "Get out of our heads and enjoy the outside world." Like my Sister Angela Addy would tell me when I overthink things. Life is that much more happier. Doing what it takes to stay out of my head :)

 








 
 

Thursday, August 23, 2012

T.M.I

T.M.I is that like the tv show TMZ, that outs all them hollywood stars while they travel & live their lives? Well depending on the circumstance sometimes its exactly that but in my case, its usually "Too Much Infomation" that I disclose. Most commonly done when I have a crush on someone & declare my ever so willing heart to save them from time wasted on other girls.lol
So todays blog is about when should you "DTR" someone?
Meaning "Determine the  Relationship" whether your friends, more than friends or in other peoples cases lol friends w/benefits w/o the total "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" comitment.
I feel that there's nothing wrong with being upfront as soon as you know how you feel. But has it always turned out for the best in my situation, concerning winning hearts? I'd have to report sadly enough, no! it has not.
But here's my theory games & tricks are for kids. We're all adults & love is a battlefield (Refer to the movie 13th going on 30)lol
But seriously if you have to disclose TMI in order to DTR in your lives. I say do it! The worse that can happen is you get a no & people consider you deseparate. But if you keep trucking along the day will come that the right one will totally get what your doing. I have yet to find that one but I know he's at the thershold & will recognize my heart. Even pass all my craziness..It's ok to be vunerable & love. Then to live & never love in my opinion.

 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Once Upon A Time

I just want to shortly express how I've been able to feel love this past week. Beginning with Doraleen & Veli's wedding sealing. The example they've both set concerning how love should be expressed. How spouses should be honored at all times. Not just during the first few phazes of dating. But how to treat them during the early stages of dating, transitioning into being exclusive, up into getting engaged & all the way through the "honeymoon" years into the "let's get real, we're married" days..
What Leen & Veli's example has proven to me. Is that it takes open communication, honest comittment, funfilled moments and loyalty to one another is essential, to keep a relationship going. Their example proves to me that love is work. But worth every healthy self-sacrifice to gain a partner, that isn't just meant for this life but the life to come. Their love leaves me in awe that true love still really exist.




During all of this past week's running around for the wedding, the wedding line, running around for Granger 11th Samoan YSA and doing my best to define the difference of what love is verses infatuation for present crushes could possibly be.
 
 The best thing I've realized today or have relearned today is that God is love. And no matter how often friendships,past relationships or present to old crushes may turn out. Because we're from God created after his image. Love shouldn't ever be withheld or withheld to punish someone. Especially if that person doesn't feel the same.
And though it's a total challenge to express love verbally & emotionally fearing that rejection maybe the outcome. I'd have to say love is still worth saying something, rather than not saying anything at all.
 Placing ourselves in a position of wondering what if I had choosen so & so? What if I had called or asked so & so out? Life is too short to play what if?
 And though on the flipside of all that again is the possiblity of getting stuck in the "friendzone" or better yet "Sister/Brother zones"  I still stand firmly beside my motto. Say something & at least that person knows and the truth is out..
 
The point being for all of us singles, divorcees & even playahs.  Don't give up on love, just because of
past or present circumstances. God will not leave us stranded because God is love & he knows who'll love us the way we deserve..Just like he proved to Leen & Veli. That patience brings the highest levels of blessings in the form of true love. If we'd but believe & keep moving forward love is sure.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Pump Yo' Breaks

So much has been going on lately & the events seem to continue to pile up non-stop. I've been blessed to have attended a lot of functions with my bestie Tati Skipps, Dawn & Emma Taufui. Not to mention becoming friends with so many different people. Some Utahans, Californians, Samoan Grown Folks & last but never least individuals that come from Laie, Hawaii
So I'm an observor of sorts & the month of August has just flown by so quickly. And on many levels my patience has been wearing thin. But I De-escalate as much as I can and already its the weekend of our sister/fren Doraleen Levao's wedding/temple sealing.
In preparation for her big day I've been tending to my own family and balancing choir & church outings.
I'd have to say my life has been super busy.

~August 20,2012~
Monday
I can't remember where I was going with my previous thoughts because a week has passed since then. So here's the story of my life. Good girl does, good things to end up with more opposition, then good girl would care to have at one time. Talk about doing the most. :( A little bitter sounding? Well I'd have to say it's just been one of them nights. But on the flipside we got to celebrate Doraleen & Veli marriage this pass week. I found my dress for the event, did my first Samoan Tauaolunga, made new friends, retaining current & old friends. Plus getting my singing on point with our Divine Heritage Choir.

On the home front concerning the dating scene. Well let's just say the lack of it, has made me appreciate the reality that love can't be forced. And when it's not there, its really not there. Oh the joys of singlehood..AMMMMMMAZZZZZINGGGGG






Thursday, August 9, 2012

Battle of the Overthinkers

So remember how I said I started a new job? Well last week while in training we ended class with a team building exercise. Each wall had one of these four words. "Entertainers," "Thinkers," "Controllers" & "Feelers" and we were to stand by the one that best fits our personalities. We all agreed as a class we felt we were a mix of all four. But our trainer Heidi insisted that we pick one. So though I am moved by my feelings. My gut screamed "DUH, your a thinker & you know it! or else you wouldn't be taking so long to think which wall to walk towards."lol
The type of personality that was directly across from us were our opposites. The point was to look at our personalities & everyone else & learn how to better communicate at their level. This would then increase excellent customer service.
I loved it & have applied it to my personal life. I'm still getting the hang of applying the tools from that activity.
But one thing that I've learned from this long work week & interesting social time with friends & family is that over-thinking & over-reacting does no good for myself or anyone that is a part of my life.

~Life is so much more complicated by being dishonest with ourselves & beating around the bush about what we really want out of our lives from people & so it's really about go getting & being confident every step of the way!~

Om these life lessons.. :)


Friday, August 3, 2012

Growing Pains

So it's a very calming Friday evening thusfar & I've been working for a company by the name of Harland Clarke. That's Clark with an "E" at the end.lol as our trainer Heidi would continually remind us over & over this past week.
July 31st 2012 was my first day & today Aug 3,2012 was my last day of training. However this post isn't about my awesome job or the fact that this week has also been spent getting to know our Sua'paia Tui'pelehake side of the family. And tada you guessed it! It's the season of family reunions. Noting this side of the family is my mom's side, that has come together to meet one another.
But this isn't about that subject at all.
Anyway I wanted to go off of my blog post title today, to talk about how to overcome growing pains. Growing pains of not getting what you want, when you want it, however way you think you should have gotten it- My views on the matter of growing pains.

I had a recent episode of disrespecting someone that I love with all my heart. To a height level or degree that would be off the charts if measured. Concerning how disrespectful one could become to another in mere seconds.  And as "karma" would have it, if you'd like to call it that, I was returned the favor. By being disrespected by someone entirely separate from the first incident I've mentioned.. Being that my behavior as the offender & not the offended was worse, if the two situtations were to be compared. Either way neither event was enjoyable by any means..

In the first incident considering myself  a victim.. I felt trapped,rage, annonyance & a sense of total loss of words. Though my insults spit out like fire off of a fast & furious race car. I was in a sense of loss for words. I couldn't calmly express or communitcate in a well behaved manner what I really wanted to present. I allowed my emotions over-ride my intent to being an adult. I resulted to an emotional outburst that didn't benefit anyone. And in the heat of the moment I didn't care for the other person at all. Has that ever happened to you? No? Ok then shake your heads no then, you perfect angels..lol jp

Well in the second incident this other person blurted something out that for me, was more annonying then hurtful. But nonetheless still unnecessary & a tad bit hurtful. When I decided to replay it in my mind. Deciding in their mindframe was to guilt trip me with a backhanded comment to do what they wanted. The moment this incident transpired, it took me but 2 seconds to decide I'm not gonna react. At least not outwardly by physical harm or by verbal abuse. But it didn't mean, I didn't react inwardly, like I did with the first incident. Remember the whole passive aggressive ticks I get now & again.lol  But it did mean that I wish they had thought more before they spouted off their 2 cents. Because to be honest.. I did react.. And I did wish they had approached me better.

All in all what I'm trying to say is we all go through pain. We all fall short to the goals we dream up, the goals we fail on daily & the goals we progressively attempt to pass.
In other words expect that with everything we face here on earth is meant to have opposition. But it's how we react to that opposition that determines whether we'll have a solid future or a future stuck reliving the past. Growing pains are a part of like we can't get rid of them & we won't always understand the whys. Why did they do?act? or cause that to happen?
But with the right attitude, support system & solid goal sitters & finishers. God proves that we will overcome pains & this is for our experience to better educate our future children. Doesn't mean we will be perfect parents. Because there's no such thing as a perfect parent. But what we've learned from our parents, will be a foundation of success for our children. We are the master's of our destiny is what I'm coming to relearn by these two incidents previously mentioned. And even though I'm the most nutty person in a basket full of fruits.lol I'd have to say I wouldn't trade my growing pains for anyone elses. Because it wouldn't bring me to this point in my life. To who I am discovering I am deep down inside. So how do I currently overcome my growing pains? I redirect my negative attitude to a positive one. Think happy thoughts & if my rage has escalated pass that point. I specifically pray for the negative feelings to leave me. Doesn't instantly happen & sometimes it takes forever. Because as human nature I grow impatient. But I wait for God's healing & if that doesn't work. I stop thinking about what's hurting me. And I make it a real effort to turn to my besties. This is my blueprint to keeping sane in an insane environment. And when all falls apart. I continue to redo those steps until something sticks. And my growing pains turn into life lessons I can share with the very people I call my family.