Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Chivalry?

One of my favorite comedians and author Steve Harvey stated in his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", never tell a man what you want. Test him but never tell him exactly what you want because if you do then he'll trap you. Do all the nice things at first & once your hooked he'll start to mistreat you. Like that line in "Preacher's Kid" when Tank's says "Love them now, Dog them later." And unfortunately, I've seen guys and girls do that to their significant other. Acts of selfishness rather than kindness.  And I know that Steve Harvey has a lot of truth behind what he's saying. But for me, I just think the  games people play are dumb and waste time. In my own simple mind, I'd like to believe that people would use their common sense. The golden rule if you will, treat others the way that they would want to be treated in return.

Which brings up a few things, has Chivalry died? And if so why? I understand women want to be independant and men don't want to look like a wuss.. But why, is it such a frowned about gesture, to show people that you care? Even if you don't end up married, about to bare your first child in baby's carriage, with a white picket fence & all. Why is it so weird to be kind? But so accepting to be a dawg..
Well I think people are dumb! When it comes to hiding how they feel about someone their digging. What is gained by  choosing to hold back? Or better yet expressing the feelings you have but choose to let them out indirectly sending out mix signals. What is really benefited from acting out in that way?Other than fear for nothing & pride that causes both invovled to lose out on a journey to gain potential love..
Whether it's a person wanting to be a gentlemen and opening doors, pulling out chairs and standing up when their lady walks into a room. Why not?
Or on the ladies end, when they worry too much about what their friends think, about their potential love interest. If he isn't the next hot model on the cover of vibe magazine, holds high status in religious or public view or owns a fancy car. 
Why can't it be good enough that he provides the simple things, protects without being asked and professes his love willingly no matter in public or in private. Why not? I'm not saying settle for someone that doesn't have ambition. Oh no! never that! But I am saying, Why not let someone express chivalry once in awhile? Especially if it comes second nature to them.

Like I said I think people are dumb, when they are quick to judge others on what is and isn't acceptable in a person's relationship. My thoughts are if your feeling someone say it, do something about it. But don't get stuck in fear & pride. It will kill you & leave you questioning "What if I?" dot dot dot.. I should've, could've and would've but I didn't.dot dot dot

 So am I a hypocrit? For judging these people for judging those people, about their preference of do's and don'ts of dating. Hmmm, I don't think so. But you may beg to differ, my point at the end of the day. And it's okay if you don't agree, everyone has a right to their own opinion. However this is what I've learned.  By not being afraid of expressing myself, when I've liked a guy. I've grown stronger, I've come to a knowledge of what I do and don't want. And I come to better understand of myself. All in all I'm still learning how to improve my communication skills. By biting the bullet & letting guys know when I'm into them.
I've played a fool for love 100% of the time. With each crush I've loved them with all of my heart. But have I been madly in love each time? hmm maybe and at the time I thought so.. But it's never been manifested in them loving me back.  Or else I would've been had a ring on it, cause not only would he have liked it, but fo'sho he would've wanted it. lol Is it heart wrenching to get rejected repeatedly? Yes.. Have I come off desparate? Most likely yes.. Do I regret giving my heart to each of them? NEVER.. And I wouldn't do it any differently if I had to do it over again. Because again not only have I grown stronger. But there will be a day that each of them will know. That there was a time in their life, that someone loved them for everything they were, could be and what they eventually turned into at the end. And I will always be grateful to have been that person.

So as I wait for my knight and shining prince.lol  And until then I refuse to be crippled by my fear of gaining love. Just because in my deck of cards I keep getting dealt the "Rejection Card." Nope! I will not be crippled by that fear and taken out of the game that easily. Being open to expression is a gamble. But it's better than not trying.  And that is why I say "Don't be afraid of Love." Just don't! Because years will pass by & then your left with regret, that you didn't risk loving just because there was a possiblity for getting hurt. Everyone gets rejected, no one wants to be alone and yes taking that leap of faith does cause alot of anxiety. Especially if you haven't been with someone for a long time. Whether it's expressing chivalry or admitting you are into someone, either way whatever the result ends up being. Chancing it will be worth it. Even if you end up with a broken heart. Because at least you'll know you took the risk to be brave. Which will only bring you that much closer to the one who will love you with all their heart. It's either fight or flight for the greatest gift, that I can imagine anyone could be blessed to have in their lives. Which is LOVE.. DON'T BE AFRAID OF LOVE... At least for me, I still believe real love still exist. And chivalry is a bonus blessing to that gift. And  for this  generation is a necessity, we need more of nowadays. What it comes down to, its all about taking care of the other's heart. But it won't happen if you don't open your mouth. Chivalry is it dead?





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