Well alot actually lol Which is besides the point.
Because what has dawn on me, is that my anger not only comes from pain & painful experiences felt in the past. That comes with life, right? No biggie.. Cause you can't know the sweet, without experiencing the bitter. You can't grow, without getting tested, through trials & opposition. And so what's the big deal? Well the big deal is that held in pain, eventually reverts into anger. And when that pain, turns into anger/rage, in some or all cases.The next thing that happens is that we lose control.
When your facing a breaking point. And it then you have to decide, What are you doing? How are you going to come to a solution?
And I've come to that point, where I feel I am too grown, to continue this behavior of losing control, like some crazed teenager. And to me, that is partially what anger is to me, acting childish & losing self-control. Which is an all time, tell tell sign we (I,Ova) don't want to keep feeding. By running from my issues through "emotional outburts because I haven't trained myself to keep my cool.. Because when we are rejected or victimized by other peoples choices. We easily resolved to throw a fit, say cruel things & drag out grudges for days.
To lose our self-control once again over meaningless moments.. Which would naturally escalate into more anger, knowing whether my point was completely right. In the end I was/am still wrong for acting out so poorly. Because I know better, we all do. When it comes to being so angry.. We cause our own misery by imprisoning ourselves with anger.
So this is a phaze of change.
And what was interesting about tonight's class was it reminded me of the saying "Act don't be acted upon." Meaning be assertive about how or what you are really feeling & don't be so uptight when others don't meet my expectations." It's not realistic.
We are all learning & just because I'm starting to become more self aware of what anger is & how to better cope with it. Doesn't mean the next person is gonna catch on as fast as I would like them too.
Bottom line is Anger kills, it stems from past pains. But can be cured by finding a purpose to repair, how one deals with that anger.