Thursday, August 23, 2012

T.M.I

T.M.I is that like the tv show TMZ, that outs all them hollywood stars while they travel & live their lives? Well depending on the circumstance sometimes its exactly that but in my case, its usually "Too Much Infomation" that I disclose. Most commonly done when I have a crush on someone & declare my ever so willing heart to save them from time wasted on other girls.lol
So todays blog is about when should you "DTR" someone?
Meaning "Determine the  Relationship" whether your friends, more than friends or in other peoples cases lol friends w/benefits w/o the total "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" comitment.
I feel that there's nothing wrong with being upfront as soon as you know how you feel. But has it always turned out for the best in my situation, concerning winning hearts? I'd have to report sadly enough, no! it has not.
But here's my theory games & tricks are for kids. We're all adults & love is a battlefield (Refer to the movie 13th going on 30)lol
But seriously if you have to disclose TMI in order to DTR in your lives. I say do it! The worse that can happen is you get a no & people consider you deseparate. But if you keep trucking along the day will come that the right one will totally get what your doing. I have yet to find that one but I know he's at the thershold & will recognize my heart. Even pass all my craziness..It's ok to be vunerable & love. Then to live & never love in my opinion.

 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Once Upon A Time

I just want to shortly express how I've been able to feel love this past week. Beginning with Doraleen & Veli's wedding sealing. The example they've both set concerning how love should be expressed. How spouses should be honored at all times. Not just during the first few phazes of dating. But how to treat them during the early stages of dating, transitioning into being exclusive, up into getting engaged & all the way through the "honeymoon" years into the "let's get real, we're married" days..
What Leen & Veli's example has proven to me. Is that it takes open communication, honest comittment, funfilled moments and loyalty to one another is essential, to keep a relationship going. Their example proves to me that love is work. But worth every healthy self-sacrifice to gain a partner, that isn't just meant for this life but the life to come. Their love leaves me in awe that true love still really exist.




During all of this past week's running around for the wedding, the wedding line, running around for Granger 11th Samoan YSA and doing my best to define the difference of what love is verses infatuation for present crushes could possibly be.
 
 The best thing I've realized today or have relearned today is that God is love. And no matter how often friendships,past relationships or present to old crushes may turn out. Because we're from God created after his image. Love shouldn't ever be withheld or withheld to punish someone. Especially if that person doesn't feel the same.
And though it's a total challenge to express love verbally & emotionally fearing that rejection maybe the outcome. I'd have to say love is still worth saying something, rather than not saying anything at all.
 Placing ourselves in a position of wondering what if I had choosen so & so? What if I had called or asked so & so out? Life is too short to play what if?
 And though on the flipside of all that again is the possiblity of getting stuck in the "friendzone" or better yet "Sister/Brother zones"  I still stand firmly beside my motto. Say something & at least that person knows and the truth is out..
 
The point being for all of us singles, divorcees & even playahs.  Don't give up on love, just because of
past or present circumstances. God will not leave us stranded because God is love & he knows who'll love us the way we deserve..Just like he proved to Leen & Veli. That patience brings the highest levels of blessings in the form of true love. If we'd but believe & keep moving forward love is sure.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Pump Yo' Breaks

So much has been going on lately & the events seem to continue to pile up non-stop. I've been blessed to have attended a lot of functions with my bestie Tati Skipps, Dawn & Emma Taufui. Not to mention becoming friends with so many different people. Some Utahans, Californians, Samoan Grown Folks & last but never least individuals that come from Laie, Hawaii
So I'm an observor of sorts & the month of August has just flown by so quickly. And on many levels my patience has been wearing thin. But I De-escalate as much as I can and already its the weekend of our sister/fren Doraleen Levao's wedding/temple sealing.
In preparation for her big day I've been tending to my own family and balancing choir & church outings.
I'd have to say my life has been super busy.

~August 20,2012~
Monday
I can't remember where I was going with my previous thoughts because a week has passed since then. So here's the story of my life. Good girl does, good things to end up with more opposition, then good girl would care to have at one time. Talk about doing the most. :( A little bitter sounding? Well I'd have to say it's just been one of them nights. But on the flipside we got to celebrate Doraleen & Veli marriage this pass week. I found my dress for the event, did my first Samoan Tauaolunga, made new friends, retaining current & old friends. Plus getting my singing on point with our Divine Heritage Choir.

On the home front concerning the dating scene. Well let's just say the lack of it, has made me appreciate the reality that love can't be forced. And when it's not there, its really not there. Oh the joys of singlehood..AMMMMMMAZZZZZINGGGGG






Thursday, August 9, 2012

Battle of the Overthinkers

So remember how I said I started a new job? Well last week while in training we ended class with a team building exercise. Each wall had one of these four words. "Entertainers," "Thinkers," "Controllers" & "Feelers" and we were to stand by the one that best fits our personalities. We all agreed as a class we felt we were a mix of all four. But our trainer Heidi insisted that we pick one. So though I am moved by my feelings. My gut screamed "DUH, your a thinker & you know it! or else you wouldn't be taking so long to think which wall to walk towards."lol
The type of personality that was directly across from us were our opposites. The point was to look at our personalities & everyone else & learn how to better communicate at their level. This would then increase excellent customer service.
I loved it & have applied it to my personal life. I'm still getting the hang of applying the tools from that activity.
But one thing that I've learned from this long work week & interesting social time with friends & family is that over-thinking & over-reacting does no good for myself or anyone that is a part of my life.

~Life is so much more complicated by being dishonest with ourselves & beating around the bush about what we really want out of our lives from people & so it's really about go getting & being confident every step of the way!~

Om these life lessons.. :)


Friday, August 3, 2012

Growing Pains

So it's a very calming Friday evening thusfar & I've been working for a company by the name of Harland Clarke. That's Clark with an "E" at the end.lol as our trainer Heidi would continually remind us over & over this past week.
July 31st 2012 was my first day & today Aug 3,2012 was my last day of training. However this post isn't about my awesome job or the fact that this week has also been spent getting to know our Sua'paia Tui'pelehake side of the family. And tada you guessed it! It's the season of family reunions. Noting this side of the family is my mom's side, that has come together to meet one another.
But this isn't about that subject at all.
Anyway I wanted to go off of my blog post title today, to talk about how to overcome growing pains. Growing pains of not getting what you want, when you want it, however way you think you should have gotten it- My views on the matter of growing pains.

I had a recent episode of disrespecting someone that I love with all my heart. To a height level or degree that would be off the charts if measured. Concerning how disrespectful one could become to another in mere seconds.  And as "karma" would have it, if you'd like to call it that, I was returned the favor. By being disrespected by someone entirely separate from the first incident I've mentioned.. Being that my behavior as the offender & not the offended was worse, if the two situtations were to be compared. Either way neither event was enjoyable by any means..

In the first incident considering myself  a victim.. I felt trapped,rage, annonyance & a sense of total loss of words. Though my insults spit out like fire off of a fast & furious race car. I was in a sense of loss for words. I couldn't calmly express or communitcate in a well behaved manner what I really wanted to present. I allowed my emotions over-ride my intent to being an adult. I resulted to an emotional outburst that didn't benefit anyone. And in the heat of the moment I didn't care for the other person at all. Has that ever happened to you? No? Ok then shake your heads no then, you perfect angels..lol jp

Well in the second incident this other person blurted something out that for me, was more annonying then hurtful. But nonetheless still unnecessary & a tad bit hurtful. When I decided to replay it in my mind. Deciding in their mindframe was to guilt trip me with a backhanded comment to do what they wanted. The moment this incident transpired, it took me but 2 seconds to decide I'm not gonna react. At least not outwardly by physical harm or by verbal abuse. But it didn't mean, I didn't react inwardly, like I did with the first incident. Remember the whole passive aggressive ticks I get now & again.lol  But it did mean that I wish they had thought more before they spouted off their 2 cents. Because to be honest.. I did react.. And I did wish they had approached me better.

All in all what I'm trying to say is we all go through pain. We all fall short to the goals we dream up, the goals we fail on daily & the goals we progressively attempt to pass.
In other words expect that with everything we face here on earth is meant to have opposition. But it's how we react to that opposition that determines whether we'll have a solid future or a future stuck reliving the past. Growing pains are a part of like we can't get rid of them & we won't always understand the whys. Why did they do?act? or cause that to happen?
But with the right attitude, support system & solid goal sitters & finishers. God proves that we will overcome pains & this is for our experience to better educate our future children. Doesn't mean we will be perfect parents. Because there's no such thing as a perfect parent. But what we've learned from our parents, will be a foundation of success for our children. We are the master's of our destiny is what I'm coming to relearn by these two incidents previously mentioned. And even though I'm the most nutty person in a basket full of fruits.lol I'd have to say I wouldn't trade my growing pains for anyone elses. Because it wouldn't bring me to this point in my life. To who I am discovering I am deep down inside. So how do I currently overcome my growing pains? I redirect my negative attitude to a positive one. Think happy thoughts & if my rage has escalated pass that point. I specifically pray for the negative feelings to leave me. Doesn't instantly happen & sometimes it takes forever. Because as human nature I grow impatient. But I wait for God's healing & if that doesn't work. I stop thinking about what's hurting me. And I make it a real effort to turn to my besties. This is my blueprint to keeping sane in an insane environment. And when all falls apart. I continue to redo those steps until something sticks. And my growing pains turn into life lessons I can share with the very people I call my family.