Friday, December 20, 2013

Sourced Out

© All I've ever wanted growing up was to be a hero. I wanted and still want to inspire the misfits, the underdawgs and people who feel rejected by haters to reach their potential.  I want that for the unloved to feel love. The lonely to feel supported and those who are already leaders to feel relief when their load is heavy. And why have I always wanted that for people? Well because at one point or another. I've known what it feels like to live as someone who isn't supported for the inspiration I do my best to be and give. And because Im not always charitable like I should be. My desire to be a hero or inspiration isnt always spread to those I find challenging to love. And yet Im working on that no doubt.

But STOP! I'm not a victim like I use to think of myself in the past. Nope that's not me. I've only fell short of being the hero that I desired to be in the past because I loss focused.
I started to grow harden by delayed blessings, lack of standing up for myself to cater to everyone else except ME and I just loss motivation.  I took my eyes off the prize.

Today like Tori Kelly sings in her cover "Roar" I am living to be a hero to myself. Doing my best to speak less and place more action to my word. In the last three months emotional chaos has hit me in ways that I could never imagine. 

Here's the things Ive learned. Which is 1)No one cares about complainers. So fix yourself.  2) Believe in yourself because people pretend well. 3)Self-respect moves people to self-motivation. Life goes on and the past should be lessons not excuses to give up. I'm excited to see 2013 come to an end but enthusiastic to begin 2014 on the right foot.

Life is what we make it and I will continue to strengthen my weaknesses & know for a fact my influence will expand as I work at it. I am blessed and see what is important. Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 7, 2013

Second Chances

Everyone at one point or another in their lifetime comes to a moment they have to make a critical decision. Of whether to give a person a second chance be it love, a shot at a career opportunity or whatever mind blowing circumstance they be confronting.  And all I want to say whether your the giver or receiver of "Second Chances" don't screw it up. If your a lucky jerk of receiving "Multiple Chances" and you still selfishly find a way to sabotage things. Then expect karma will get you. So wise up and make the best of your "Chances" before you regret the blessing of starting fresh. #FreeFall

Sunday, December 1, 2013

For Oooh So Long

It has been a crazy few months of highs and lows. Hellish episodes sparked by unbreakable bad habits but on the other had redeeming triumphs nonetheless. We are in the month of December and how the year has just flown by. I am extremely grateful for our Lord and Savior. I am blessed beyond words description that I haven't loss my testimony. Especially when it would've been easier to say "The hell with being a disciple of Christ, let me just eat,dance and be merry." I am grateful I have enough sense and love for God to fight those tempting feelings. Which have arose more than I can ever remember.  I'm still found standing on his side and I am so grateful for that blessing.

I've gained a sister-in-law through my younger brother Roy who was married this pass Oct 12,2013. It was a beautiful wedding. My other younger brother Rocky is expecting his fifth son. My younger sister Teuila's 2nd son Loi is growing and is such a cutie. As for the baby of our family King Tuifiaola and I. Lets just say, though our spouse's are taking the scenic route to finding us. We are doing well and learning the true meaning of patience and trusting in the Lord.

And so  even though seasons change and families grow in their separate spaces. God is good to us and for oh sooooo long it's been a beautiful fact to wake up to daily realizing I am blessed. Really and Truly I am blessed.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Miracle Seeker

In the last year and up to today life lessons have overflowed my cup. I've been broken down in the best way God has intended. Rebuilt from the inside out. Still working on the outward part of that lol.

Anyway, life is good. Facing fears has become a more natural routine. Communicating clearly about what I feel is necessary, has also been a daily blessing. And giving more compassion, mercy and forgiveness given willingly has been liberating. I talk about these attributes over & over through my blogs. Because unlike most who possess those gifts naturally..
I still have a long way until I will fully master those traits.

Which may seem odd for any of my aquaintences to read. When most would peg me as a "Goodie Goodie" or "Molly Mormon." Just because I profess my love for God 24-7, served a mission, sing in our DivineHeritage Choir & care for my brother King Tui. Though those callings help me to exercise compassion, mercy and forgivess. I still find ways to fall short by my own selfishness. Which reminds me to stop and get to know people. And never judge a book by its cover. Cause everyone has a story to tell and if I have a role in that novel. I must always prepared to be supportive at all times.

Which is the point. This life was designed to test us, get
us molded by those test. So during all of it. We remember
relying on God to become better is a must
In order to gain our most truest supporter. Who would have
us use Christ Atonement to become healed
Much easier said than done. But it can never be done,
unless we push forward.
Because really, no one has it easy which is why our life focus is essential. And we must actively be highlighting our miracles that are before us and the hope of miracles to come. And I know better than anyone the courage it takes to walk & remain in God's light. But to not do it, to not talk about God and share God's tender miracles. Especially during times of being undeserving of his loving mercy.
That would only be tormenting ourselves to an endless hell because lets face it.We all fall short but counting your miracles in his light will be worth
any darkness that may come. We just gotta believe & do.


My family is growing, My Friends are abundant and the work of the Lord is rewarding. Especially on the rough days.
Never stop counting your miracles. :)

Friday, August 2, 2013

Pointless

I find that the closer that I get to turning 35 years old the more I value the smallest to the largest blessings. I still tend to be crabby & depending on who's company I'm in I can be found easily annoyed. lol  But even in those instances  I am blessed to practice more charity and patience. In the last few weeks I've had the opportunity to spend time with my immediate family. To hear stories of my parents "youthful days" and to witness my siblings raise their families. I learn valuable insights of how parents interact with their children & how children forgive so quickly w/out holding grudges. And in those instances I am the student & these nephews and nieces of mine are the master teachers. I savor and cherish these lessons. I am humbled & in these day to day findings I am extremely grateful for my family. And find it pointless in rushing forward to my "future family" until my Lord ordains that blessing. Because the reality isn't "When is gonna happen" but rather it's just the opposite which is "It is gonna happen" as long as in God  I remain true & faithful. Onward!! March!! :)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

I Get So Emotional Baby!

I remember the first time I was label a "Drama Queen," I was like what the heck? Get over yourself :) But while looking back over the years in the last week. Interacting with various love ones and frenz. I'd have to admit, I can see where I have been a "Drama Queen" and exactly who & what trigger's the beastly reactions. :) And as I grow wiser through my personality findings, if you will. I'm discovering I'm not owning up to my truest emotions. I relapse and put myself before God. Which then causes me to lash out at people. Either indirectly while fresh and in the moment. Or days, months to years later when I unexpectedly explode on people. When I should have been honest and direct about my feelings from the get go. And probably shouldn't have been so dramatic over certain things & people.. And so with age comes the wisdom that like the saying goes. "Don't make permanent decisions over temporary feelings." I can say by living that way it will cut alot of drama quick. It's been a refining week at working on this principal of patience. But its working itself out and I am gaining less of my dramatics & more of what God intends. Which then exsudes more smiles no matter the circumstance and less emotionnal outbreaks. Life is improving & so am I. A pioneer on the horizon towards a greater me. Happy Pioneer Day!

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Happily Ever Beginnings

To every fairy tale everyone anticipates a "Happily Ever After." Like back in the day, through stories of damsels in distress that eventually get saved by a dashing prince.Until "Ever After" came out in Hollywood lol
Well it's something that's been on my mind a lot lately. That whole concept of "Happily Ever Afters" because to me the just of those stories are two people looking for love through a journey of opposition, period.

Now, now don't get crazy. This isn't "Ova's usual rant about men" or "Why do people keep asking me about when am I gonna get married." Nope.. This is about finding the joy of focusing on the "Beginnings" rather than "Endings" of relationships, careers, dreams and pretty much anything else, you can think of that would be seen as an "ending" of what you don't want to give up or let go in your personal lives.
When you should be concentrating on the "New Beginnings" God is trying to give you.

Now mind you, like all of my other blogs you might've read. I do not claim to be an expert on anything. Not religion-Nope not me, Not family relationships-Nope, not me neither and my ultimate favorite, Love of & for the opposite sex-Nope, especially not me, about being an expert on those topics.
 But back to the point I'm trying to make about "Happily Ever Beginnings."
 I have come to my own conclusion that  might or might not work for you. But I hope to inspire that you find your own solution, If you don't find mines to work for you. And that is, if you are finding yourself stuck in a rut of getting over your own "Unhappy Endings." May you  find a remedy through this post.
 So here goes..

My secret ingredient to my secret ingredient lol is simply living with more gratitude.. In the last 3 months it's been an emotional rollercoaster for me. Sometimes by my own stupidity and at other times because that's just how life goes. Meaning there will be emotional highs & lows. Like the scriptures say, "You can not know the sweet without the bitter and vice versa."

 So like always when things get really crazy around my sphere of cray,cray. I always turn to God. Doesn't mean I always do or follow through with what he advises. But I turn to him anyway and lately he's been saying; "Ova relax, Ova trust me, Ova forgive (a huge spiritual slap in the face)lol, Ova I love you, Ova let go, etc. And like trying to pull someone's messed up tooth out of their mouth. At times I wouldn't let God pull it (meaning my pains) no matter the pain because I wasn't ready to let go. I wasn't ready to heal, wasn't ready to forgive and wasn't ready to move on.

But here's the blessings that I've received since I've humbled myself. And that's peace of mind & heart. The greatest gifts I've been able to hold onto recently. Am I completely happy? Nope. Am I living my full potential? Not fully. Am I gonna give up? NEVER!
And it's because God is with me. It's because I've stopped trying to tell him how things are going to be and like I said before it's because I'm living with more gratitude in my heart. That whether through joy or disappointment, with each passing day. I praise him & keep my focus on what's beginning in my life rather than what's ending or has ended. It's not easy but it's worth it. It's not painless but it's possible to get through the pain. Only with God at the helm of whatever is suppose to be. And this is how I know you can find your way to obtaining your own secret ingredient to your secret ingredient of your search for happiness. Because nothing really ends it's just a transition to a new beginning. But it's up to you if it'll be a happy one or not.

Monday, July 15, 2013

There Is Forgiveness

Yesterday was a great day for me because I was able to attend
all 3 hours of church. Even though I
was exhausted from Friday & Saturday's activities. I managed to
stay focused and appreciate getting
some spiritual nourishment.

So during sacrament a brother testified about forgiveness.
Which for me in the past & sometimes
in the here & now. Depending on the
person. I've been know to forgive one
quicker than another. But at other times I'm totally unforgiving because the
offense cuts super deep.

And so when this brother continued on & stated that a fellow ward member
lashed out on him for no reason. Instead of reacting negatively.
 He'd give the upset man, a charitable reply of "I love you brother."
 And the point he stressed was that forgiveness is to set the offended free.
 As for the offender if he never apologizes. The best option is to Let
GO& Let God handle it. So that testimony truly stuck with me.

What would then amazingly, prepare me for what would follow later that evening. Which wasn't even 24hrs later from listening to this testimony on forgiveness. Testing whether I'd apply what I learned from earlier or ignore the lesson taught. By disrespecting this relative I considered an enemy that I happened to run into that evening.

Well I decided to take the highroad & first of
all accept. One-  I will never get an honest explanation about the past.
Two- despite that I will be treated as the odd man out while in the company of this relative & mutual friends. At least I will have the peace that I've always & will always have that I remain true to myself. Which then makes it all that more important to forgive 70 times 7 no matter how right I may feel I am about anything. Concerning anyone in my life. Remembering I must forgive as Christ forgives is my calling. And I will die trying to master that principal because in his eyes everyone deserves forgives. And I can't give anything less then that ever.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Dark Places ,Hidden Treasures

It has been a rolercoaster of a week. And reflecting back as usual in every
moment. I've gained & improved in so
many places. And life continue to be
moving in an upward spiral. I am falling in love with myself. Meaning
I'm not hating on myself, I'm asking for what I deserve & if I dont get it. I fight to accept the outcome and
then I teach myself to grow forward instead of dying in a standstill.
The best lesson I learned was that when we're in a rush to gain blessings. We lose out because in rushing the Lord we show him how faithless we are to his word.
LIKE my homie j.smalls says "Pray more Stress Less." You do that everyone and you will find treasures after your darkest hours pass. Called blessings :)

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Five Months

I find it discouraging to the point of majorly annoying that when you try to live right. There is a misconception that a person has it easy. Because let me be the first to say "We DON'T!"

I constantly have to find things,people,God
to keep me afloat &akmp; sane. So pretty much in these last two weeks. I about lost my mind because this was only One of the very few times I've ever really have felt true rage.
It wasn't pretty at all and if my dad wasn't patient. I wouldnt be writing this blog.
For real lol

So how did I get through it?
First of all, I usually pray like crazy. When faced with moments like
this but in this instance that wasn't
the case. Instead I broke down to my parents
(in true drama queen fashion)lol,
I listen to my dad's counsel,
I listen to alot of iyerize & youtube new music &
only then did I continue praying to chg my perspective & soften my heart.
And once I did that & continue to go through those steps.

Plus living true to God'z scriptures, rehabtime,writing was I am able to function.
Proving I am able survive pain in any struggle.


In 2008 we lost our love ones to death. Beginning in March with our bro Tuau to suicide, a week or so later our cousin marissa to cancer, July the chief of our family Tema Afo. Then Yesterday remembering our nephew Tuau who was stillborn.
Thinking about that year & our aiga angels.
I know if we have survived for this long from the pain of those losses.
We can survive anything with the Lord.

So it's long overdue to begin to start living happily. Even though their not here physically.
It's time to enjoy the family members who are still here. Five years ago is gone but
those angels can never be forgotten.
We love you always. Push forward love ones.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

I Am

All that you've ever dreamnt/
I Am./
/Sent by God/
I have./
To guide you forward/
I can./
Spirit to Spirit/
May,his will be/
That you'll now trust/
What you feel./
That I am/
Thee GREAT I AM.

-by OverlandAfo

After mistakenly erasing my piece
"I Can & I will" because I wanted
perfect. And out of lack of faith
that it came so fast & easy. I kept
revising it & after mourning lol it
got erased. Im committed to never
doing that again. So simple is my
motto now.

"And now behold, I say unto you,
my brethren, if ye have experienced
a change of heart and if ye have
felt to sing the song of redeeming
Love, I would ask, can you feel
so now?" (Alma 5:26 in the book of mormon cross reference to Revealations 19:7-16)

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Pursuit of Happiness-Starts with You!

It's almost summer & my pursuit of happiness has been a trip.
To say the least. :)
So of course I'm going to bring up 
Will Smith's movie "The Pursuit of Happiness."
If you haven't rent it yet. You need to do so asap. 
Especially if you need a jumpstart to your own
personal "pursuit of happiness".
Anyway, recently I've been catching up with different family members, exercising more, eating healthier,
praying with an earnest,
listening ear. 
 Rather than with a begging impatient mouth,
trying to keep my faith strong and above all else, 
doing what it takes to improve my attitude
over my present circumstance.
Sounds like such a broken record
blogging about this post.
Expressing the  great days I've had.
Along with  a few low ones.  
But the main person that's kept me centered, is God.
And so like mycal alo; I write.


 
Detailing through my writings that God
is found in my daily life footsteps because I need him.
He is the main subject of my writings because without him.
I wouldn't be who I am. Despite my daily failings and without him
 I wouldn't be able to recognize he is always by my side.
And because of him. I fight  to gain my happiness.
To one day gain eternal life.
 Grateful for rerun "Ah Ha" moments.
So recently, I'm doing more about getting out
of God's way. Remembering that it's not his work
that is frustrating but that we frustrate his work.
By being prideful & deaf to his will
because we want to follow "Our failed Plans"
instead of his "Sure Plan"
So right now, I feel that I'm getting
back on track. 
Especially because  I'm getting out of his way.
 
With that said here's a new addition of "Ova's Honorable
Mentions." Who's up there w/Trent Shelton,Oprah,
Samoana Matagi & none other
 than one of my favorite
brother Ben Falealii.
Which through Ben's Youtube 
I came across this person-
drumroll please, Introducing
none other then Sivasa "IyeRize" Laupati
aka Seven aka U.G.L.Y's artist.
And though we've
never met.. Yet... :)
His music/testimony has rekindled my
love to write my poems & blogs again.
A blessing that helps me to vent & create my thoughts
over the worldwide web. I am so thankful. So
 get inspired too.
My two favorite songs but chk "Alright"
& "Potter" youtube-IyeRize & on soundcloud
under "vasamusic" you'll be glad you did :) trust me :)

Saturday, April 13, 2013

A Change of Heart

I let yesterday's failings get the best of me & like a volcano I exploded. If there's one thing I know about being Christian, being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints, being the oldest of five kids, being single, being a woman, being a fighter and many other titles and labels I've gained from others or I've given myself. One thing I know for sure from all of those mantles I feel I've been held responsible for is that one I fall. I fall hard, I'm hard on myself & I receive things hard. So when the uzing of hot lava feelings of anger & disappointment erupt I end up being very angry. So lately working out w/a variety of sisters have kept me up. So here's my VLog to my stress relief.


No matter how down I get I remember everything happens for a reason. Which then translates into action to do better
moment to moment. Pls find your change of heart through these websites that I know will help you to being less Ugly in attitude.

www.lds.org
www.rehabtime.org
www.trentshelton.com    


Festival of Colors



A couple of weeks ago my sis crystal & I went to Spanish Fork to attend the festival of colors for the first time.
Be warned we met some lady named Poojah who posing as an indie doctor. So dont fret I think
she was just excited to be at the festival to say the least.


Anyway this is our testament about "Catching Dreams"Cheeewhoo

Don't forget to check out these websites
www.lds.org
Www.rehabtime.org
                                        www.trentshelton.com                                           www.OVRadio.com

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Who's that girl?

All I can say is that change is good and attainable for every and anybody.
No matter what time you decide to jump into the game we call life. Not a surprise to most of you and that's cool. But here's more on "Who's that girl." Be inspired to inspire others
and don't forget to log onto the following. It will change your life if
you let God.

WWW.lds.org
WWW.trentshelton.com
WWW.rehabtime.org


Thursday, March 14, 2013

Don't GET RAPED! Protect U!!

YESTERDAY was a wake up call for me. I consider myself tough.But I know better so IM going to do better. No working out alone. DONT DO IT!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

See my heart not my past-Rehab Time

That quote is copyrighted by CEO Trent Shelton. Here's my first Video Blog ever explaining more on his company.

WWW.trentshelton.com
WWW.rehabtime.org

Here's my link to this blog
and if you have questions about The Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day Saints their website is included.

Overland23.blogspot.com
WWW.lds.org

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Sonya Sotomayor

Our USA supreme court justice Sonya Sotomayor was recently asked "What would she want to continue to do for the rest of her life, her book tour or to return to being a supreme court justice for our country?" Her simple reply was "Though this "Cinderella" book tour has been great she would love to return to being a supreme court justice again." And she goes on to state like a fish seeking to fit a pond. Working for the people in this country she feels like that very fish who's found her pond and place in government.

While listening to her story of growing up in the Bronx & reaching her current position in life. A position that brings her deserved respect and a platform to inspire the masses. I couldn't help but to think serveral things.
One of the most important thoughts, would be that we all have a place to fullfill in our fellow men's lives. Our birth into this fast changing world isn't that we come here to fail.
But that we come here to learn our true calling and use that knowledge to serve the world.

Like Ms. Sotomayor expresses,
"NOBODY! ain't ANYBODY can make it anywhere in the world alone!"You could travel to the moon and back, thinking you got there on your own strength. But reality will prove it took a
team of people to assist you in reaching your life accomplishments. Even its travelling to the moon or if it be different goals.
Because NOBODY! Ain't NOBODY! can or should feel they have to go through this world feeling alone to reaching their goals..

And that's why I feel it's so necessary to write more,express more and to reach outside
of my comfort zone through my writing.
I don't know if I'll feel like Ms. Sotomayor
at the of this more focused journey I'm beginning to embark. And if it will lead me to my own pond of fullfillment. But when asked by my cousin Justin Sua "What would I like my readers to gain from my blog posts?" My response is if my experiences, hopes and opinions can improve or save a life. Then that's my drive to keep sharing in hopes I will reach my life's pond.
Then promising I will Pay it forward to bettering our quality of life as a team!

Friday, February 8, 2013

Break Through


After about a month & a half of working on recreating myself, searching for my true meaning, purpose and calling. Spending lots of time picking out the weeds in my personality, habits and "energy sucking" associations out of my life.
Today I feel like I'm finally braking good ground within my safe haven. Planting new goals, letting go of
spoiled soil and allowing three vital components into my life's garden..
First the Sun/Son, the physical sun that gives me the warmth I need in my home. In order to chase out the darkness of compliants& discouragement.
Of course to allow more love to grow within the walls of my home.
Which then energizes my desire to let the Son of God, even Jesus Christ control of my choices more presently. Meaning taking the opportunity to let him lead & counsel me, instead of the opposite where my fia poko self tries to interrupt his guidance..
And by doing things his way & living in this manne. God has led me to my second point.
He being all knowing & fully aware I couldnt plant & cultivate
my life's garden alone.
He sent special gardener's to prove me
& help me that I wouldn't be slothful in my work.
My mother Florence Sua & brother King Tui to nurture the seeds

Ive planted. By drinking up God's word through constant prayer,
family & personal studies. My siblings Teuila, Roy & Rocky by
serving them when its needed. Teaching me what I sow will be
what I reap. And while toiling between planting, drinking
from God's living waters and nurturing my life's garden.
Im especially grateful to have broke this new ground
with brother's and sister's who are my fellow gardener's.
Who knows exactly what & how much they mean to me without
me having to mention them by name.
I am inspired by them & without their encouragement
I know I wouldnt have arrived right here.
Which is at peace w/who I was, happy with who I am becoming
and like prophet moses in the book of Exdous in the old
testament I am beginning to trust Heavenly Father
more that I am capable to truly live my potential.
And if that's not considered productive break throughs?
I dont know what it could be. Please share your comments
and tell me what & how you handle breaking through your
life challenges that get you stuck.
Would love to hear from you.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Promptings

So since I've become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for over 10 years now. As a church, we believe at baptism that we receieve the gift of the Holy Ghost. He being the third party of the Godhead. God the father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost is what we call the Godhead. He who confirms/speaks to and through our hearts & minds that God & Jesus Christ lived, still live today and confirms other gospel truths as truth. While our beliefs begin to grow in the gospel. We believe that the Holy Ghost is a comforter during stressful times, thee teacher in any gospel setting and holds many other wonderful titles. And recently the best way I can describ how I have felt about the Holy Ghost. Is that he's been my protector to harmful choices I could be making & he's help me to recognize that I need to be an answer to peoples prayers. But dont get it twisted, it doesnt mean that you test it & pray "I hope Ova comes through & does all my housework for me or comes over so we can go and volunteer to work at the neighbors for free chopping wood or something.lol
The only way those types of prayers would even begin to work is If I'm intuned w/the spirit & I act on what you prayed for because the spirit prompted me to serve you. But that's for awhole entirely different blog post on the power of prayer. That we'll dive into later.

So getting on with my thoughts on the Holy Ghost and the gratitude that I have for God. And how he's given us this gift the Holy Ghost so we could be better selfless and less selfish. I know when we act the 1st time we are encouraged & called by the,h
spirit to serve. Without trying to satisfy our egos for praise or stalling out of fear how we will be judged for our service. It is only in those moments is when we gain true peace of mind.

Like setting goals & working through until victory is won. Baby steps with faith in God that anything is possible. But if we do nothing with those promptings from the Holy Spirit. Like daily prayers, showing compassion and living happily. That is when we begin to lose the spirit, our purpose to do anything & our hearts then begin to grow cold. No one is excluded by receiving God's love & protection. But does require us to do our part & he'll do his.You never know what life you could be saving by listening more carefully to those spiritual prompts. So my friends,get it done and I promise you, you'll never forget that rewarding feeling of being obedient to the call.

Everyone is a missionary and everyone deserves to be reminded that their loved by God because they are his child.
No matter their past he knows your name.
Answer, he's calling you,

Saturday, February 2, 2013

So You Think You Can Dance

Nothing feels better than entering a room filled with guys, I use to crush on from my past and feel nothing for each one of them. The freedom of feeling no unnecessary anxiety, no madd crazy jealousy, bottom line no desire to play games or to participate in their mind games. Nothing feels more rewarding than having that freedom.
The only reality I would've or would love to change is their assumption of me. Which is that I still want anything romantic from them because truth be told, I dontu. And in that lies the agony because all of my crushes are exceptional guys. But once my feelings have been exposed they turn into fatheads. With the exception of maybe 3 or five old crushes, who when we see each other til this day. We can clown, catch up and be chill. Like nothing and they never make me feel stupid about myself. Its no wonder why they currently have girlfriends, these true gentlemen vs my past crushes I saw last night. What a small gesture and difference to what seprates the few good men that exist in the world vs little boys..

Well I couldnt have experienced or noticed the difference of my new revealation, If hadn't decided on attending last nights young single adult dance with my sisters the taufui's, sita & trina. If I was a drinker I'd describe today as my hangover day from last
night. Just because my love
for dancing was on full blast
& my body is still recovering. Lol

That & also feeling like I finally reached a defining moment with old crushes. That im truly done with all of them. I am amazed how God continues to prove through others that I need to stop reacting & to just be. If im happy, be happy. If Im sad,be sadd or whatever emotion comes up.Common sense right? Well for me when Im going through "it" common sense is over ruled by a mix of my emotions & over-reacting.lol And we live & learn :) Well the night continued on with gut busting laughter, dance chasers lol & making new friends over music that kept us rocking our non-stop dance moves and was just the de-stresser that I needed and wanted. Dance the ultimate source to my
heart's joy.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I Believe

Up until today I've been starving. Not able to taste flavor in the meals I eat. Unsatisfied by the relationships I've been in with my Lord, my family and friends. As a daughter, sister, Aunty, sisterfren, return missionary, member missionary, member of the church unsatisfied with even being human being. Dramatic? Maybe?! On top of that not being able to sleep right & nightmares that come & go. Depressed? I don't think so. Tired? You bet'cha. And finally realizing all I needed was to do some winter cleaning. Communing more intently with God. In losing myself like Shela off of "Diary of a Madd Black Woman" I'm finding myself. Through God im walking & listening.more now than ever before & im so happy. Because no longer do i place him as a hobbie or option but being w/ him is my priority.
Funny story for instance and i hope ties in w/ what im trying to say.
Everyone knows im a saimein noodles snob and it's been over 20 yrs since I've ate saimein from a pkg & not out of a cup noodle cup. And yet today while feeding tui lunch I decided to take a bite of his saimein soup.
One because I wanted to see if I was making a big fuss out of nothing all of these years. And two I wanted to dare myself to face my vices head on even if it was just about my food preferences. Well I was pleasantly surprised that one it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be in the end. And two that I can tolerate the flavor, my taste buds are back but I'm still a
diehard cup a noddle girl. Which brings up the point in finding more of my newer self that its ok if I change. Whether it be about food, my conduct or what I'm chasing after because what matters most is that I'm happy.And that in itself is liberating as I find the balance to help others to reach a similar type of joy. I'm reading a book called "This I believe " by a variety of different extraordinary people which I will share more of in my next post. I believe you'll gain a lot from it & so til then keep rediscovering you & don't give up. The Elusive Yet Holy Core by Kathy Dahlen

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Mama Mia!

It's Phat Tuesday in the Afo/Suapaia residence due to apple pie and chinese food attack and i'm already exhausted at 5:32pm in the p.m. As my sistah dawn Taufui would put it- p.m. Well it moms 59th bday today. So I had the opportunity to spend time with her & we didn't really do anything but stay home waiting on tui to return from school. The majority if not all of her life the two of us has constantly been at each other. Due to pride & lack of open communication. Positive communication at thats always been a struggle between the two of us. So on this particular day it felt good tactually talk & not be so cray cray.yc Lol And no matter the dispute or debates that can go on for days. I know my place in my moms heart& that she always has my best interest in mind. Even though at times it comes off a bit much. Moms like mine aren't so common & I know I am undeserving of such a loving mom like Florence Suapaia but I am grateful for her. Bishop Vielstich topped off the day w/a bday visit & a yummy pie for mom proving just how much love our leaders have for my mom.
For you women that are mother's to your children, children who've passed on, adopted children, awaiting to have your children and to those like me who are aunties w/motherly tendencies
Remember you matter, your example matter to these amazing children so don't let up. Especially when hope is low & exhaustion is high. These little ones will never forget your enduring love. You all are why we have good in us so keep strong!

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Delayed Answers

Last Tuesday I had the opportunity to attend the Jordan River, Temple with my sister Manda Johnson. Which since the year started was my second time going. I went with only the intentions of supporting Manda, escaping for a bit and to feel God's love. I really wasn't expecting anything more than that in going that morning to the temple. So I vented, laughed and recounted memories from our past crushing over certain priesthood holders prior to our arrival. And it was hilarious :) So we went through our session & while exchanging what we received through that particular session in the celestial room. To my surprise I received my answer to a prayer I hadn't remembered til that moment. I thought that morning this was a prayer i hadnt ever prayed for and so i was surprised with this out of the blue answer. But it wasn't til I came across this quote did I realize Tuesday's answer was a "Ova not yet answer" to this prayed for blessing from months ago that I hadn't remembered.
And the quote goes like this;
"God's 3 answers to your prayers are"- 1) Yes
2)Not yet or 3) I have something better in mind. And I believe this is God's process in answering our prayers. We don't always get what we want when we want it. And when it seems those around us do so little to nothing & yet get everything. Like mucho money,endless materialistic items or the hot spouse girlfriend or boyfriend & you feel like you have nothing. Or your life wont amount to nothing. IM HERE TO TESTIFY YOUR WRONG! Your time is coming & it might not amount in things of worldly riches. But it will be just what God intended you to have just when you needed it the most. Count your blessings not your wishes or your problems. God is good all the time esp in your trials. Believe it or not he is :)

Monday, January 14, 2013

One Sweet Day

Yesterday was such a bitter sweet day for me. I didn't get to church out of my laziness from staying out late the night before. But because we have a loving and concerned Bishop. When we don't show up to church in case of tui & we have a lack of energy to bring him. Bishop sends the ward priesthood holders to our home, so we can still partake of the sacrament. In order for us to remember our covenants, repent of our sins & make a stronger effort for the following week to renew our covenants in the ward. Which is a huge blessing for our family.

Later, yesterday evening I was able to attend a dear brother of ours fireside. None other then Mr. Nelas Otuafi, who wrote "How can I be", "Miracles" and one of my favorites "Two Years to Eternity" and many other songs. He gave an amazing testimony, his beautiful daughters sang "Lighthouse of the Lord,w/supportive sons on the side and our sister, his wife niki in the crowd encouraging and inspiring them the entire time. Like a loving & humble mom would naturally. And through nela's words & music I was edified to do better, reconvert myself more to the lord and if I really love the lord in the way that I should love him. Then I must prove it through my actions of being true & constant obedience to his commandments. And overall what I got out of everything nela's testimony put out was "Make the time to really get to know God because by knowing him you come to know yourself." You would've had to be there last night to even begin to understand how I felt.

After the fireside and found out that my sister Ane Brown Tupeas dad Nite Brown died. He was sick for a long time & is survived by his wife Taiana Wolfgramm Brown & their 14 children & their families. I love this man w/all my heart & am so happy he allowed me to be apart of his family. He is missed & will never be forgotten.

Yesterdays sweet ups and downs proves that's how life will always be. Its up to us to train ourselves to always prayerfully react in cheerfulness & faith that all is & will be well in that one sweet day when in heaven we will reunite.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Computer Love

Now when I say computer love I'm not talking about dating sites, porn sites or anything of that nature.
I tried the whole "LdsSingles.com" bit and that was a waste time and as for porn I don't rock like that or anything in that nature. And neither do I look down on people that do because I know that's a battle that people have to face. But back to what I was trying to explain about my "Computer Love" is that I've had to blog from my cellphone. Which really sucks and not having a desktop computer or laptop has caused me major withdrawals.. Until I was invited our to Mz Emma Taufui's to kick it and trick left me & Dawn..lol But it's cool cause now I have a chance to get down as many thoughts on post before the both of them return.

2013 has been a ever flow of so many things that I've changed about myself, my perspective, my goals and the people I surround myself with & aiming to be influenced by. The breaking of a new day seems to be everyday for me since the New Year has began. And it's because I'm recognizing more and more talk is so cheap, people make mistakes and we have a choice to react negatively or react Godly. I am far from being the Saint Heavenly Father destined me to be and it will always be that way. But now that I see that living in his timing is truly the best way to be. I find myself every second of my day wanting to be grateful for the smallest to the biggest things. Like my brother King Tui responding more to our vocal directions. The quality in a simple conversations with the people I love. And the biggest blessing so far has been praying consistently with my mom. A simple act of gratitude that speaks & means volumes of difference in what kind of spirit is in our home.

And even though this titled post is about my obession with keeping connected over the world wide web and dream to get my own computer so I can blog more, email my missionaries more & just be an internet camper for days. All I'm really saying is I love my life the way it is right now & I hope that each of you are falling in love with your own lives. Because trials are really blessings in disguise, standing up for yourself when the crowd is going left rather than right is possible and whatever your addiction with the past is that your having trouble dealing with can be let go. YOU JUST NEED TO MAN UP & LIKE NIKE JUST DO IT!!  2013 is turning into an epic new year where I'm finding a newer kind of me & I hope & pray the same for you & yours..

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Adore

With this constant back and forth battle against this annonying flu. I wanted to list a few things I adore.Pointing out that in every negative you can always find a positive. If you allow yourself to redirect your thought process. Because what you feed your mind will manifest through your actions. Anyway my point is counting blessings vs lack of things you wish you had, to me is the way to be. And here is my list.
1. I adore my brother king tui. He
keeps me grounded in selflessness.
2. My neices and nephews the perfect
Pick me up.
3. I adore a man that can make me laugh til I break out in tears.
Problem is the only ones that can
fit that are my family bros & guy
cousins & men from n. shore Hawaii..
Ahh the dilemma Lol to the second half.
4. And last but not least by this
shorten "I adore" list. I adore me
some good chocolate. :) true stress
reliever.

So if your out there stressed & annonyed. How about treating yourself
to what you love & do it. Life's way
too short to continue in living a
miserable day. So focus on adorn blessings that God is giving.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Can We?

Can we agree to disagree? I hope so and I hope that my opinion inspires at least one of you if not all of you to be better communicators to the opposite sex. This post is inspired by a couple of my favorite people. Let's name them shall we? The girl will be "White Chick" and the Guy we'll call "Iron Man". Kay I won't explain their circumstance. But I will say their coming from a place of pain, hesitation & stubborness when it comes to dating & perspective of d,ating because of getting their hearts broken in the past. So again w/o talking on their status. We're going to talk on mines & what I've learned. Number One-GET OUT OF YOUR OWN HEAD & ASSUMING WHAT THE OPPOSITE SEX IS THINKING OF YOU & THEIR MOTIVES CONCERNING YOU! GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!
NUMBER 2-none of us are mind readers. Something I had to learn the hard way. If something is bothering me say it. Not just half of it. Say it all so the other person isn't left in the dark Tryna guess what your feeling & thinking. That takes ongoing practice and committment to keep on doing it. Number 3-Pray for whatever your weak in concerning relationships. So you can strengthen yourself & the other person. So if your a pushovers than pray for ways to be less of that & more assertive. If your too goofy pray for ways to be mindful of when you should & shouldn't.The key. is to put action into the things you pray for & keep the faith that w/enough dedication you will improve. And the biggest lesson that I've learned in applying these things is that I'm facing my fears, hopeful for love & prepared for anything that comes. Have I fallen in love? Yes, of course I have. With every single crush. Did those cause me heartache? Every last tcrush except for the ones who have kept me as a friend. Do I regret any of them even though I ended up hurt? Nope because I grew stronger & when I do meet my husband it'll all be worth it. Get it THROUGH YOUR HEADS PEOPLE! LOOKING FOR LOVE, RETAINING LOVE & LOSING LOVE WILL ALWAYS COME W/SOME DEgree OF PAIN. Because it test our will, what we're willing to sacrifice &compromise. And if we continue to live in a state of who will control who, who's the boss and its my way or the highway. If we choose that route then you will never be happy. Whether w/someone or single. Dating is only as complicated as you make it. And if you don't live to resolve & evolve to fight for love instead of fighting it off. You just might not get the chance to love ever. And what a world tragedy that would be. Wouldn't it?

Monday, January 7, 2013

Manti Te'o-Fighting Back

Norte Dame's defensive player Manti Te'o just played in his last college game earlier tonight against Alabama University for the BCS title. Both undefeated teams & hopeful to take the win.The raining champs Alabama came off victorious. But in my eyes & in the eyes of thousands so did Manti & his fighting Irish brothers aka teammates.
With all their hopes,dreams in overcoming team & individual life adversities. To me they still won.
I didn't even know who Manti Te'o was until late last season and then wittnessing the fight in him & his team mates during their Penn State rally. Caught my attention & I was captivated by their drive. Not only to win for themselves. But to win for their families, communities and especially for each other. And though the scoreboard said ND 14 vs Alabama 40 something. I have to say ND still won w/poise, brotherly love & humility. Which will keep them bonded forever.

At the end of the game as the cameras zoned on players shaking hands out of good sportsmanship. And finally catching Manti by observation there seem to be w second of disappointment in his eyes. Because last year both his grandmother & girlfriend passed away days from each other. And in an interview he expressed how he'd be playing his heart out for them. It would be my prayer that he'd have enough knowledge. To realize that from heaven that they both know that of him & that they don't need trophies,scoreboards or recognition from all the world to know his heart and the love he holds for them.
So there you have it. My two cents of what a true winner is in life & on the field of any sport platform. Everyday playing like the champions that you are- Manti Te'o & ND fighting Irish

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Musical Snapshots

There is nothing that I love more then when I can be apart of anything that involves music. Listening to it, hdancing to it or as often as time will afford me singing it. Which is usually in the comfort of my own home, at karaoke cafe w/sister edna aiono to build up my confidence in singing out or while song practice for our Divine Heritage Choir. Tonight was one of those nights where I was able to enjoy pure music. I have a great love and admiration for people that can sing on pitch, naturally hear their notes and like Kawe Sika loves to put get'um
sooo easy.. I go nuts at people that
have that gift & can bring it w/what seems to be so second nature to them. Marja taking "courage" a melodic space,
Sina & Edna harmonizing effortlessly, Ashley's voice w/such sweet humility
ceased the msg behind "prayer is a miracle" just to compliment Travis solo to "How can I be" sung as if he were a pioneer from the scriptures rolled up w/ back up from the rest of our fellow choir members in attendance tonight made for a picture perfect memory for me. Why I love this choir so much, why it feels like home when we sing united in spirit & the blessing that we're able to sing God's music that he's given to our choir writer's & friends of the choir. Musical Snapshots I am so grateful to be apart of & witness. Now adding my sistah crystal Ainuu into as well. God is Good, all the time,God is Good.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Words for Words

People speak sometimes to make a point,uplift someone, hurt someone or just for the pure pleasure of hearing their only voice. I know I've practice doing all of thee above & probably will continue to do so. One because I am human and two because its a part of life. Which leads us to a variety of different people, experiences and adventures. Tonight I was privilege to attend my sister Caroline Ulugia's 30th birthday dinner & earlier I had bonding time w/two other of my sister's Tasha & Crystal. Talking through the usual run down subjects life,men & the purpose of life. Observing where each sister was spiritually, emotionally & temporally. I couldn't help to begin to be thankful for each of them & the powerful influence they are in my life. And the fuel they add to my fire of being better than I was not only from yesterday. But better than I am from minute to minute that we get to bond. I've used the words "sis" & my "I love yous" loosely in the past. But for every woman that I've said those words to or will ever say those words to remember this: I meant it from the bottom of my heart. Not to make a point, not just to uplift you,neither to have it lose value when I've hurt you or wanted to hear my own voice. Again those words I love you sis are a valued sentiment because you've made me better. Your words got me through when I've been at my worst and carried me to be my best non-blood related & my only blood related baby sis Teuila. I carry each of you in my heart at the same level of love as my sisters. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Breezy

This year in our church we will be studying the life of our deceased president Lorenzo Snow. While reading over a talk describing his personality, testimony & way of conduct.
The writer described President Snow as someone
"saturated in the Gospel." Pretty much encouraging as Christians to not only talk the talk about why we follow Christ. But to put action to what we know about him. All I know is today reopened my eyes in service a soul is fullfilled and without it we are nothing & than left empty in our nothingness. Pay it forward & you too will feel breezy..Good Day :)

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Ten Years

I was sitting back yesterday & just thinking about my life. This July will mark 10 years since I've returned from serving in L.A. California as representative of Christ for my Lds religion and thinking about that yesterday, while watching King Tui I thought about what a blessing he is and all we've gained because of him. He's our ill brother that my mother, siblings and I have cared for over 20 yrs come this upcoming November 2013. When he turns 21yrs old. So as I was sitting back in my life's reflection. I was placed in two separate type of spheres. One that in ten years I will be 44 yrs old & some where in that space of time I hope to be married w/kids. And usually when I think of my future family fear isn't ever a feeling that's attached w/that vision. But yesterday in my mind & heart I grew afraid. Fear of the process of procreation, the fear of experiencing the reality that I will be responsible for giving my all to my eternal companion & children 24-7 and in that moment I realized how blessed I am. That even though I have to wait on my husband & kids. God is mindful of me & that this segment of my life is to be dedicated & focused on caring for tui. And its no wonder why tui always yawns & ignores me when I tell him about who I'm crushing on & if I can marry so and so. Lol typical brothers for you. I know even if tui weren't here and I was still single, I know the blessing is in the wait. So when we do receive what we beg God for, I know we appreciate it 100 times more because we had to wait. And if ten years from now if I'm still single I will still hold onto this knowledge because I know God is for me & wont forget me. I just can't allow my trials to let me forget him no matter the circumstances of life brings me. Living in a sphere of gratitude. :) and no longer overcome by my fears of what
my future family has in store for me.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Fresh Start

Everyone is looking for their center & the core of who they are as a person. Some know early on in life, others like a child off of "dance moms" cable sitcom are told who they are until they become a believer and a majority of people lose themselves in life and may or may not find out who they are or what they want until later than expected. But somehow we all find our way.
And with the recent boom of everyone trending their new years resolutions by making a fresh new start for themselves. I feel a fresh start begins as a moment to moment experience to be improved on one moment to the next. And doesn't have to be put off til the end of one year & a beginning of another new one. Becoming better now & free from all limitations is what i'm talking about. More aware,now better than ever, just because we've always been a certain way and have always done things a certain way, doesn't necessarily mean its the right way. With the exception of God leading the way.
Point blank, there is no excuse to acting a fool just because.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy Beginning, Happy New Year

Anyone who knows me has to know that I love dancing.
And so every New Year you will be sure to find me on a dance floor & this year was no different. And especially after a week of being sick. You know I was ready to get out of the house. Well I was w/ my sister Crystal Ainuu & we were Provo,Utah bound. We hit up a mid-singles dance that was cool but being the young-hearted sisters that we are we left early to support our family band. Orem 9th Ward where we danced our hearts out. And Auntie Tu'u had us rolling all night. And I just felt another sense of appreciation for the beautiful & talented family I come from. It felt so good to laugh the night away, grub and hear the advice of my loving twin crystal. Then to come home to rest & get my pkg from sister Mary Matila. Choc & Washington sweat shirt.. God is good & I'm still purging myself from past 2012 annonyances & pains. But today proved that an attitude for gratitude can overthrow any trial. Look forward to the future, appreciating the present & accepting the past for what it is & letting go. Letting Go...