Saturday, November 29, 2014

Unmasked

It was Oct 18,2014 around 7am when I received the phone call that one of the most loved DIVINE HERITAGE CHOIR MEMBERS had just passed away. The voice on the other end of the telephone was one of my best sister/frenz Dawn Taufui. We had just seen each other about 6 hrs prior when we had gone to another one of them many lol SLC 2ND YSA DANCES. Where the men hold up the wall & the ladies dance w/their girlfrenz cuz no one likes to ask the opposite gender to dance.lol Which is totally besides the point. So when I got the call from Dawn, I didn't really take in what she was saying as the words hit my ears from her voice "I don't know if you saw, or if anyone told you but I wanted you to hear it from me, before you see it on facebook, Deej passed away this morning." The rest of the conversation was unreal. My reaction of shock, disbelief, anger & just wanting to make sure I was hearing Dawn right. My only concern was for her &  the rest of her immediate family. All I could do was pray & hope each of them could feel our prayers. Especially since  I was far from ready to seeing any of them on that day or for the days to follow. I never could have see that coming.

Since then I've been feeling much better much more recovered for the loss we've had to accept. In that DJ isn't with us. But through it all discovering a new found strength, on how to endure death in this life. I thought that in losing Dj that I would never want to find my eternal companion. Perhaps because I never really understood what a good man he was unfortunately up until he died.
Unwanted lessons, I've learned from losing him. Now seeing that the good guys shouldn't be overlooked. Those who make an effort to keep standards high, in who I can always be friends with even if our courting doesn't end up in a romantic relationship that would potentially lead to eternal marriage. Bidding Djee farewell has taught me GOOD GUYS MATTER & to

 ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS LOVE GOD MORE THAN WANTING TO FINDING LOVE FROM A MAN. I miss deej everyday but I hold all that I've mustered up ass mistakes with our relationship as pearls of great price moments that to know a man is a real man when he knows how to treat a woman even if he never receives nothing in return. The true example of Christ like Charity. I AM MORE sure now more than ever that I will work for a future spouse who is that type of Christ like love. THE BAR IS SET & there's no compromising to that stature for my eternal progression.

Thanksgiving has passed, Christmas & NEW YEAR'S fast approaching. I am still a work in progress as a sister, daughter, cousin, friend and for some a mentor. I live to unmask my weaknesses so my LORD can turn them into strengths. I lift where I STAND, I dont always please others but when I DO LIFE IS GOOD BECAUSE GOD IS LEADING ME.. MY FAITH IN STRENGTHENED IN HIM DAILY.

Friday, September 26, 2014

K.I.S.S

Earlier today I was reminded why God is an amazing God. I had a female emotional breakdown because things didnt align when & where I wanted them to be.But when they did fall into place of where God wanted them to be. The events that followed my girly moment emotional breakdown proved to me of why God is who he is to me.
I went out on a leap of faith to apply for a job promotion earlier this week. And just being at my place of employment for 3months, 2wks and 6 days. So it was a bold step to put out there as a fairly new employee. But without my support system backing me up morally I couldn't have done it. Beginning with my occasional supervisor Doug Deming who held me accountable to excuting applying for the position. Ramona Salima who jokingly told me to believe in myself. Sebastian Tautalatasi/Sandy Mikesell/Bill for keeping me laughing and lighthearted throughout the week. Eli for the priesthood blessing, wisdom and rides. And last but surely not least Thomas Wootan III for the follow through and ensuring I sell myself with confidence. Each person played their vital part and I will be eternally grateful for each one because without them I wouldn't have been successful in just mustering the courage to leap forward.

So when I got word back this evening that I didn't get the position. I was only partially upset that I didn't deliver the end result that we were hoping for but I was more disappointed that happy ending didn't happen because I got in my own way by lacking confidence. Which made me feel like I let my team of supporters down after they invest time in me. The moral of this story is "Believing in Yourself" will only heighted if we truly take the time to being positive & not self doubting.

Keep.It.Simple.Smartie :) I fall,I rise, I fall, I rise, I fall, I rise because I'm not defined by my falls but can achieve anything when I decide to continue to rise. FALLING IS NOT MY ENDING...

Friday, August 1, 2014

He Sees Me

Next week on Aug 6,2014 I will have been at my job for 2months. Working through Teleperformance USA for USAA Federal Military
Bank under their deposits department.
I've been driven to my breaking point a
couple of times since starting.
But if it weren't for the power of prayer, my trust in God, our USAA motto "Remember Who We Serve" and the wonderful at times craycray people Ive befriended. I am 100% positive I would've quit long time ago.


Through this work journey I've relearned the point of valuing people. Starting with myself.
Not valuing people for personal gain to move up in the company. But honestly  valuing people for the pure satisfaction to restore hope into my coworkers that we can do anything.
As we strive to believe in ourselves & each other. Which doesn't mean I don't get mini panic attacks about my work abilities. But Im learning that even when I stumble there are tools & people around me to help. All I need to do is be humble enough to ask.

 And because Ive swallowed my good share of "Pride Pills" to ask for help. I've improved in listening for what's beyond the surface of a USAA member's request, Im learning how to relate to them/coworkers and how to move forward in faith that with every few calls that are rough. There will be those "Golden Ones" that will make up for the rough ones. Making it all worth enduring. Joyfully of course :)

And with that being said I feel a constant fulfillment in witnessing our team succeed collectively as well as individually. This is what gets me through my wondering if I am in the right place of my life.
And for now I feel completely assured through it all I am in the right place.
God not only just sees me but he is literally holding me up to keep me moving forward til he says it's time to stop.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Forgiveness

So earlier tonight I was able to attend my first Mapuolesega Family Reunion Meeting.

In the past I've been pegged as someone who often puts friends before family and without flooding this post with my defense. I will say only this to cover ll of my reasons of being anti-family functions. Which is because I allow my mistakes of a young teenager girl/young adult woman define me. So when ignorant comments from family would be expressed towards why I never show up and who I'd choose to keep coming with instead of family. Well that would fuel the fire for me to stay away.

But thank God for the example that my sister Tile Mapu teasingly is to me in
bringing me back to my senses to acknowledge the bigger picture on the importance of family.

And Im grateful I went tonight for the mere fact of being reminded of exercisi
ng the principle of true forgivenes. Something I've been struggling with for over 6 months
now with certain relationships & know that I have a ways to go to master.

So the just of it is after tonight's meeting I see personally on how much more I need to recommit myself in forgiving others more readily and meaningful.

Friday, July 4, 2014

Happy 4th Of July

As we celebrate the men and women who've fought for our nation's freedom throughout
every branch of our military. Including
those who still fight for us daily overseas. I am grateful for their bravery,
sacrifices and their supportive families.
When my younger brother Roy was enlisted in
the US army two things crossed my mind. He will always be safe by the power of prayer of millions of people around the world. Secondly I wanted to join the service. But after a brief discussion about my decision
on one of his brief visits. He suggested that I didnt do it. Especially since he knows how sensitive I am. But if I had join the service. I would've join the US Marines and without sounding shallow. As a youngwoman I was always a softy for their uniform. White top hat, sharp suit, white gloves and sword. But I joined a different
Army. Equipped with skits, dresses and a badge for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So today's holiday has had me thinking of how we all need freedom in our lives. Both from oppressing countries that venture to control their people and the opposition that keeps us away from God. Today Im more alert of why appreciating our freedoms across the board and for those who fight for us should never be taken for granted.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

HappY BirthdaY Fano!

Life has been good... June 6th I started at Teleperformance for USAA.com doing banking
for military branches and their families.
I love my team, I respect the business structure of USAA.com But it's not my dream
job. But we will see how things go.

Fano was laid to rest on June 14,2014
and today we celebrate his life.
It doesnt feel like he's gone.
But knowing he's watching over us and that
he's happier there makes me happy.

Life is getting better because
Im proactively making it.
Birthday Dinner for Fano!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Hart of Dixie

Before this pass May 21,2014 around evening time when I found out Fano Jr Galeai was pronounced deceased at 5:01 pm. My emotions about everything and everyone wasn't in a happy space. And actually it remains to be an uphill battle.However throughout my most recent emotional rollercoaster, Im learning tons.


A few of my lessons have been
1)Do my best in the mist of sadness.
2)Embrace being short & sweet when speaking
3)Listen Attentively to those I'm keeping company.

During Fano's final days his health was declining more rapidly. A couple years ago his legs were amputated (cut off) while he was living in Massachusetts. But while he endured this trying experience we recently found out that his wife Pume filed for divorce and it would've been finalized this August 8,2014 and the plan was for Fano to return to his siblings in Laie, Hawaii. At that point for them to care for him.

Laie can be compared to the town Blue Belle in the sitcom Hart of Dixie. Where everyone knows everyone. Which then means everyone knows everyone's business. And so with the news blow of Fanos death topped off with his wife's decision to leave was and is a bit of too much information to swallow for one week. Which leaves many in awe to why she would do something like that to him.

I know better than anyone that being a caregiver calls  for alot of sacrifice
from a person. Im also fully aware
that there's two sides of every story.
But I can only speak for myself that the natural step would've been for her to stick it out to the very end as a caregiver if at most his wife to not abandon ship.
When he needed her most.
But like I said there is two sides to every story but unfortunately now that Fano's dead. Any other explanation has little to zero value because of what was set in motion prior to his death. A reality that can never be erased. But for the sake of his father uncle pule , his siblings, extended family and friends now that this information is out. Hopefully they and we can find healing in knowing that Fano is healthy, happy to be with his mom Aunty Sue
and is finally free of all this worldly pain. What's done is done and all we can do is move forward in honoring his memory in
the best way that we know. We love you Fano!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

May I





©
It's been a refining month like many other's that I've experienced in the past. The only difference is this time around the ability to understand the meaning of "Long suffering" , "Patience" and "Happy Endurance" has taken on so many new meanings. God has truly made it know that his hand is over my life and those around me. As a kid I never imagine that my life would be where it now presently stands. But to wish or pray for anything different would be silly because then who's to say I would be as strong as I am if that were to happen. I'm excited about what summer will bring, I am grateful for the blessings that have passed and I'm so happy for all the down days I have survived..

It'n 4 months my best friend Sister Dawn Taufui will be returning from serving in Trinidad. The one person who seems to always get me. Especially when she doesn't agree with all my opinions or choices. Last Month April 18th 2014 I was able to welcome one of my favorite people in the whole wide world back home from his Bacolod Phi Mission. None other than Blake Sio who is currently preparing to attend Uni of Utah.. thank goodness it's not BYU. My nephew Loi turned 1 today and like his namesake has been fighting getting over his sickness. Grateful it hasn't gotten worse.. And to top off the last month almost two months of seeing blessings enter my life and others. My Sugarhouse Sister's  are hosting a beautiful and soulful artist by the name of Latasha Lee come and perform here in Utah next month. So though my life isn't where I want it and no one is really reliable on turning to but my Lord & Savior. I in the famous words of Mase
Logoai when baring her testimony at her grandmother's funeral last Dec has stated "I am Blessed and I say that in the name of Jesus Christ Amen." My favorite quote to say the least.



Saturday, April 5, 2014

New Beginnings

A week ago this Monday we found out our Uncle Lugi Paialii passed away due to a heart attack. A day after we just paid our respects to my friend Mailei Tuaone. Then a day or so later another friend of mines Misi Wolfgramm passed away after his battle with cancer. There are so many people passing away and so this weekend was much needed. Every April and October we have the opportunity to hear from our Prophet and church leaders. Listening to instructions of how to increase our faith in God, Christ and the principles of the gospel. I've had to face a lot of challenges and trials personally lately.. And all I can say is I'm stronger because of these experiences. I've come to understand that when living for God I will most oft than desire will be misunderstood and misjudged. I'm coming to understand that people change and all I can do is control myself. But even when I can't control myself I can't lose trust in God.

So I'm grateful for my family for opening my mind to change, thankful for my Divine Heritage Choir for an outlet of strength and my God for the peace of seeking more humility and joy in this journey. It's come to my attention in time all things do work out for the best when we are faithful and not forceful on obtaining our most desired blessings.

I am blessed even in my life storms and I'm getting it together :) one day at a time. #NewBeginnings2014


Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Perfect Day

As I sit here to reflect on how perfect today was I'm in awe that it had nothing to do with anything that Ive specifically prayed for prior. And here it is what made it perfect. Waking up at 6am but didnt roll out
of bed til 6:20am to find my mom patiently get King Tui ready for school so I could cook his breakfast. No ordering me around, no complaining
about how I prepare Tui's meal and no rushing me
for this, that or the other from her. Which made
it a perfect kickoff for my day. Then lead to
feedback from my friends that spun off of my daily "Believe Me/Look Up" fb grp. Made me extremely happy. Really, none of you will ever really know how much your feedbk means to me. Where Im gonna take that fb grp will be a massive change for greatness. Somethin Im excited about for 2014.

 My day continued on with walking around Temple Square with my bestie Sela Fangufangu Tukuafu exchanging 2014 goals and dreams to be accomplished. Highlight of that part of my day was the bright sunlight, chilly air and peacefulness felt over laughter that guided us to our favorite Pancake Spot. Well the rest of the day into the evening, up to this second is proof that a perfect day doesnt revolve lavishly spent indulging in materialistic and shallow living of worldly wealth. But that it exist in solid family relationships, loyal friends and God given gifts. As simple as the air we breathe and the miracle God gives us daily to be protected under his care. Only if we let him in and trust him. It doesn't mean we haven't felt or seen pain. But today reminded me that counting Lifes Perfect Days is way worth ones time than counting the Imperfect Ones. Dont give up! especially when misery seems to be creeping into your heart. Live Happily!
 God is with you even if you feel no one else is present! Dont Give Up!

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Suffocating Thoughts

This past week has been a great week and yet in between alot of things that were uplifting about my
past week. Suffocating thoughts of worry concerning my family, friends and future spouse crept into my mind. Almost to a level of half an uneasy anxiety to a boarderline moodiness.
And when I get to that point then company from
anyone is the last thing I want at all. By the way
I didnt mention my kids as a worry because I have full faith their just chilling in Heaven wondering just as much as myself "Seriously daddy (hubby) just take yo'time, geez." Lol

So back to what I was saying about my suffocation etc etc. :) This is how Im getting through those thought.

1)Constant Prayer, Temple Worship and Meditation (Emily Young Inspired on the Meditation)

2)Venting over food w/my sisters, venting
Over the phone, in person and exercising together with them. The exercising option is the best solution.

3)Reapplying the daily notion of "Let Go and Let God." As Im growing as a person, I understand more fully that I dont need to control anything or
anyone. The only person I need and should be
controlling is myself. Because bottom line ppl pretend well like my mentor Trent Shelton says and
at the end of it all. People will do what they feel and want to do.

So I am actively living by trusting God more.
By doing that and living in that fashion. I avoid
being stressed out for free, angry for nothing and
hard hearted for the hell of it.

People will disappoint, backstab, smile in your
face and gossip behind your back, tell your secrets,mock you as a person, laugh at the dreams you carry,second guess your kindness, belittle your
judgement and do anything to make their value override yours.

But what Ive also found working hard so those type of ppl dont add to ones suffocating thoughts. That we will experience in life til the day we die. Is let them be. Be kind,pray for patience, pray for them and let God handle those types of people.
Otherwise you will drown in drama.
The mind and flesh of man is weak but when we give all our stress to God our spirit and heart can be  renewed to higher heights of freedom to breath easy.. And who couldn't use a life spurt of easy breathing from unnecessary drama and ppl?


Saturday, March 8, 2014

Peacemaker

There is no greater peace than that of finding it in Christ. There is no greater love than that of God and earthly parents who are selfless to a fault. There is no greater security than that of a sibling that even through the messiest of arguments and misunderstandings can find it in their hearts to overcome pride and forgive one another. There is no greater gift than that of peaceable people giving that gesture just in the nic of time.

Today I attended a funeral service for a sister that I rarely saw throughout these past few years. But when we would see each other it was always a blessing. Her name is Emily Young, Samoan decent, an independent woman to say the least and during her 45 yrs of life she lived with purpose. During her services I was reminded that despite being single and LDS life doesn't end there. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest, by loving people unconditionally and showing forth mercy where mercy is due.

It's only March 2014 and attending this funeral and sending love and prayers to the ones that I've missed year. It puts into perspective that life isn't just too short to hold grudges but that without constant awareness that forgiveness is essential in our day to day lives. We will slowly decay into a waste because we decided to be hardhearted and hold onto our pride instead of peace. 

Thank you Em for reminding me of that today.. As you fly with angels rest in love! Love you!


Sunday, February 23, 2014

Lost In Translation

Today during church I was able to become and began to piece myself together to feel whole again. Im a very sensitive individual and I tend to get hurt alot because I am soft hearted. Now I dont say that to boast of myself or to be looked over as a victim.
Because Im not a victim. But I say it to layout before you as a catalyst to why I am the way that I am. In order to help you to learn from my experiences and mistakes so you can become your very best you. Consider it my gift to you.

So today through church, I was reminded of exactly why, Joy in Service is essential. I was able to understand and relearn that if we begrudgingly serve out of obligation. We matters well not serve at all. Or at least change our minds and attitude about
serving.

I know that when we serve for the right reasons, a submissive spirit with self-motivated vigor, there will be no task too large to complete. Ive made up my mind to live in joy consistently. Because I know it is something that God wants for all of us. By doing so and even if we do carry a sensitive spirit. God will strengthen us in our time of service.  So why not start serving now?


Joy teaches us to be selfless :)

Monday, February 17, 2014

Moving On

Our trip to West Covina, California is coming to an end and it's been nothing short then a huge eye-opener on so many different levels. I feel the biggest eye-opener has been living to not control something that doesn't feel they need control. If that makes any sense.  I came down with our Divine Heritage Choir. I was able to serve our youth through music and the word of the Lord. I learned that all things are possible when I put my whole heart into  that calling task. I learned about how to reapply the truths of the gospel and to stop living in the past. I have grown from the things I learned this weekend. And I am happy.. :)

                                         Love Life ;)



Thursday, February 13, 2014

On My Way

Our Mapuolesega family has had to endure two losses recently. Our cousin Daniel Mapu passed away after his 10 yr fight from injuries he received after promoting a Drug Free Event. It occurred in Laie Hawaii and he is finally rest from all his pains. Then my grandmother Aimiti Mapuolesega Afo's sister Tasi Mapu Savini passed that same week. I am grateful for the examples they've left behind and the love that they expressed while they were with us. This weekend my family will be laying Auntie Tasi to rest. While I got approval from my parents to attend my choir trip. I am grateful they are understanding of why missionary work is important to me.
I am far from a perfect return missionary and I make mistakes everyday. West Covina, California will be a great blessing and eye opening experience. I feel it will be a trip that will determine things that I need to put in order. Only time can tell. Happy Valentines day!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

2014 All In It

The title of this post has become my personal motto for the year. Entails that when I commit to anything from here on out. I will be 110% in it. If it don't feel right or becomes the final straw that will break my back. I've made a priority to refrain from getting in it.

So the beginning of this year has flown bye. Sad to report a lot of new and old friends have lost a grandparent since the end of Christmas til today. Keeps things in perspective on how unpredictable life can be.

Today's thought that I wanted to leave off on is "Prayer Is the bridge between panic and peace." Make sure whatever you do this year. 
NEVER STOP PRAYING to endure all trials with truth and faithfulness. It is the only way you'll survive this life. The following video is of one of my favorite people/friend/singer. Felix Ammon Logoai singing one of my favorite songs for his grandmother Mapusaga "Maselina" Fuimaono DeGuzman's funeral services with his Auntie
Susan.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cbznRyamR8&feature=youtube_gdata_player

                  Rest in love Maselina
October 26,1926-December 27,2013

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Bye Bye Bye 2013

Dec 20,2013 after I posted about Christmas and all I get a telephone call that my Aiono Family's mom Laumua passed away. It was expected because she was so ill.  However it didn't ease the sting that she wouldn't be around. In December of 2013 I knew of at least of 5 people who've passed away. Which flips my perspective on life. What matters and what really doesn't matter at the end.

And now I'm convinced through trials the pain felt is only temporary.  If we allow it. Aunty Laumua's services were beautiful and this new years eve was a blessing.
And in this year, life will be happily lived more fearlessly embraced. #All In#2014