Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Seed of My Soul

What is my story? Why am I, who I am? Why am I so proud in being of Samoan heritage? Why am I still an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday-Saints? Why am I still not a license driver? Whyam I not where I'd like to be in my life but haven't completely given into giving up on everything? And I will tell you but first of all these are the questions that have crossed my mind. Beginning when I went to one of my favorite mission sister, Sister Brown's funeral a month ago from this past Sunday. Then to remember while recognizing that I've been back from my mission for 13 years these questions arose again. Now I have to be upfront when reflecting back to these last 13yrs. It was so easy to look at everything I had failed in, hadn't completed and fell from because I didn't really make the best choices. And due to those choices I experienced some very heart wrenching consequences. But this is what I know over all those almost depressing memories. What I know for myself today is that I'm still standing. I am still here. I am still fighting to not grow bitter about my life, fighting to still love others even if it's not given back to me freely and fighting to remaining on God's side.
And in that fight I am grateful for the many cheerleaders that have been on Team Ova & haven't left me to journey this path alone. Because in reality I know with a certainty it is so important to know that we have to not only help one another through this life. But to do it with more kindness, patience, courage, unconditional love and above all full honest forgiveness. Because being revengeful, spiteful, unforgiving and hateful will only hurt the person giving it more than anyone else. So it's not worth it. This post is for you who aren't happy, who aren't motivated and feeling extremely alone & down. Let the seed of your soul be faith in Christ & I promise you though life will through you the fiery darts of hell. You will survive as I have because you've taken the time to feed your faith versus your doubt & emptiness. Find yourself loved by God and you will find your purpose. Love YOU ALL O 

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