Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Monster In-Law

In the last couple of weeks my single sisterfrens & I have been talking alot about our status. Being single, why? 
Why men do or don't
 do what they do presently?
(lol that was a weird sentence)lol 
Well we have this ongoing chop up sesh on the  topic. Sharing with one another who we'd either want as our boyfriend or husband. Ideas of how to be more assertive but not as
 Trying to work out, amoung each other
how we can escape the rut, 
of feeling undatable.
Which I'd have to say on behalf of us girls. We've improved a lot on our communication process over the whole matter.
  Outgrowing our usual complaining, clowning & put downs of the opposite sex.  And to actually civily discuss without manbashing/hating what their not getting. 
Which is usually  followed up with my declaration of
*Oh I can't wait to have my sons,
their gonna go through a hellava training
on how to treat women once I'm done
with them *lol
 It gets frustrating to have to regroup & revamp how to be understanding on the issue of men. But we're working it out.
So you married women
 appreciate what you got.
Cause the grass is truly greenier on your side.
With the million of things you do for your husbands. I promise :) honestly your blessed.
Even if it doesn't seem like it, when
everything feels upside down.
 Like beyonce sangs in 1 + 1
 "Baby we ain't got nothing without love."
So you got love, don't wish it away or
take it for granted is all I'm saying :)

So as single women, we're coming into our own. Doing ANYTHING it takes to better understand the opposite sex &their positions on dating.  
And the big question we
 can't seem to get over.
Why aren't you approaching us?
     Giving them the benefit of the doubt that
rejection must really be their deal. 
 We do our best to suppress our 
"once upon a time impatient selves",
and begin to take mature steps towards letting go of thoughts like, Rejection? Really, This is their hold up?No! It can't really just be about that for them? Rejection is scarey?
 Of course it is for anyone. But that's their defense or reason for not approaching us?  c'mon women deal with it everyday and
so can you, if you'd just try.
Well "single ladies" that's their story,
their sticking to it and
 we just have to simply be patient
while in the struggle of singlehood. :)
I'm grateful to have a community of
"Single Sisterfrens" 
that strengthen my understanding
on this experience til "Prince Charming"
arrives. :) Se arrive already.. blahaha

During that week of such deep discussion
 I was undergoing really bad dreams of people dying. One night it was a few of us family members dying from an earthquake. Another night I dreamnt, two airplanes were in the air, falling out of the sky coming towards me. Then at the last minute crashing into the Rocky Mountains. Before sending me to my grave. Crazy I know right?
During bonding time w/the rest of the croo. Sisterfren amanda claims Tongan superstition death dreams means 
 "O your gonna get married soon."
(any of my tongan friends/aiga correct me if that's wrong about the dreams)lol
So during these recent happenings.
It got me thinking about my future inlaws.
 A group of people that I've always worried in meeting. Especially my parent inlaws.
Would I be good enough for their son?
 Would they accept me? Would my family accept their son? What if we're different cultures. Would they accept my Samoan Heritage? And not to mention the wedding? How good will they be on compromising what we want verses what they want? And like that Monster In-law movie. Would I have to deal with inlaws like that, in real life?
So what am I doing now?
I'm preparing with more focus,
daily til I meet these people, to be more of my best self.. Whether it's in the next couple of months or years from now that we meet.
 I'm determine to be an inlaw who is open. Both mind and heart to be as humanly accepting as one can possibly be as an inlaw.
 I'm fully aware no one can be
the perfect inlaw.  But it doesn't hurt to live towards it.  And I am an individual who refuses to lose myself in any realtionship, just to be accepted. I will not become a
 "Yes Man daughter-in-law slash sister-in-law" to be trampled over.
Doesn't mean I will be some super diva.
Throwing out crazy demands & expecting
to be served hand and foot. No!
However I will give respect to receive 
the same in return.
 Because I rather be loved and respected for who I am.
Not out to be 
 accepted for who I'm not,
 just to get in good with the family
I'm going to marry into one day.
 And hopefully everything I'm learning from my siblings of how to deal with inlaws. Will keep me ahead of the game.
 So I will not only gain a 2nd extended family in gaining inlaws. That I can love with all my heart. But its my prayer they will be a set of people that will always support my husband & I. So I dont have to  sweat the potential
drama of new inlaws.. 
But respecting them nontheless.
 If not I can always hi-yah them like this :) 

bhahahaha jp we hope for better. Right?
Yes-goals to being a family that is more
like the following example. To reach the
top of what a family can be like no matter
the obstacle life tends to bring.

"The best way to love your spouse is
to prove that you love your inlaws and
in doing this, you show your spouse you
accept him or her for the family they came from."
~Overland's quote inspired by 

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."

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