Monday, November 28, 2011

Flying With Angels

Man fellow bloggers I'm so sorry for being the barer of badd news. I wouldn't blame you guys if you decided to delete me from your blog. But man when it rains it truly pours. I pray that this is my last post about death & overcoming the feelings that come from that life experience. This past saturday one of my favorite aunties from childhood passed away. A woman of strength, humor, spirituality and a heart of gold. Willing to serve without being asked & never one to purposely turn away from the opportunity to fullfill a calling. Especially that of being a mom,wife and sister. My dear auntie vena mapu finau.

(She's the one in the middle of this pic)

Families matter & with faith anything in this life can be overcome. ANYTHING! here's to you auntie keep flying high..

Thursday, November 24, 2011

My Motivation

It's 8:30pm and my stomach is almost settling from "Thanksgiving Dinner" and I'd have to say I did pretty good this year. Not only did I not eat more than I could I actually only had two servings of din din, 1 serving of dessert and I actually didn't argue with mom about how things should be. hehehe (signs of a fia poko daughter). Holding my peace in itself was a miracle which made for a great evening.
I know recently I've done nothing but report saddness or my self-inflicting annonyances lol through my posts.
Aside from my last update was pretty happy :).
 But in my defense it's just been one of those seasons. Where life lessons have been hitting hard on lately. However even though  this post isn't that much different.  I'd like to believe what I have to say about one of my favorite blogger's & her recent story will help you. And as usual when my heart is touched, I have to dedicate my writings. And to this sweet couple is just the case. Though the following video might not apply to them as of yet.  I pray that when in the future when it is needed. They will be able to draw strength from the powerful message
Being that their two individuals that are of sound mind, one heart and are spiritual giants. From what I've learned in reading their blogs and the fact that they come from such inspiring families.
 Gives me even more reason to share my thoughts on the example, they've set of what it means to endure life when it matters most. Especially during this "Thanksgiving Day" with each of you.
That life is about preparation for the unexpected. And how to overcome anything that might be thrown at a person. Resilience,Courage and Fight is in all of us.  And when we choose to give our complete will & pride over to Heavenly Father. There isn't anything he won't carry us through because he loves us. I admire these two though our friendship is only through mutual friends & family. We have yet to meet and yet they've earned my respect in this experience alone in which their facing.
And I know though they've had to bid farewell to their first son and child. That they've awaited for about 9months and were fully prepared in raising him. My testimony stands strengthen in knowing. They will have many more children to greet into this life. Not to take away from this "miracle son" that has return to Heavenly Father. But I pray they know there are many more blessings coming their way. When in speaking about whether or not there will be more children for them to parent.
 Because Heavenly Father is a merciful, loving God. He will prove that their suffering isn't for nothing. He will prove that when we are faithful & like Job in the old testament praise him no matter what we are given. Then eternal life is ours & what he has becomes our blessed inheritance. 
I know that for a fact and am a testament of someone who has gone through trials and have learned first hand. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. As this experience will be for this faithful couple. Giving UP is NEVER an Answer or Option.With all my love Lilika & Inoke Funaki may you know those gospel truths & lean on Christ's Infinite Atonement more fully.
"Perfect place for Family Time Visits"

7 My son, apeace be unto thy soul; thine badversity and thine afflictions shall be but a csmall moment;
8 And then, if thou aendure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy bfoes.
9 Thy afriends do stand by thee, and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands.
D&C 121 7-9
Only Satan teaches not to pray keep the communication lines open with our Heavenly Father.
 He loves you guys never forget it!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Love Me Some Him

Since Thursday I've just been on cloud nine. But it doesn't mean I haven't had some major thunderstormy moments & gloomy downpouring of negative emotions here & there during this past week.
And yet it's been nice getting through those negative feelings. 
Taking on the example of my nephew Baby KForgiving instantly & forgetting anything that has gotten to me or has frustrated me for no good reason or excuse. If you want to really learn what forgiveness is to be. I'd have to say observe offending a kid & how quickly they bounce back. Forgetting the offense you or someone else has inflicted on them. And I promise you, you'll wanna follow their leading example.
Because out of the mouth of babes are we taught what unconditional love is suppose to look like and how to exercise forgiveness. Their approach works & humility will have been gained, taught and applied..
So this  weekend we watched "Breaking Dawn" w/my sisters. Manda & Marlene one night. Then Veronica,Vallene w/suprise members of our sisterhoood. Lieta,Pou,Sia Finau & her daughter, Sarah Ava, Leets & Alayna Galeai, bro Tala & running into Sister Kinga Vaituu. Made for happy days @ the movies.
But in preparation for the Thanksgiving & calming myself down when things would tend to get hectic. I've been grateful for the spirit of gratitude that's been with me. I broke my pack to myself about staying away from my old ysa ward til  our New Year's Dance would come up. But I gave in & went back to my beloved single adult SLC 2nd ward on Saturday night. Of course I couldn't pass it up being that it was a causal dress code &  dance. So after 2 months & six days of being away. I felt prompted by Heavenly Father that I needed to be there. And so after getting a facebook encouraging post from my bro Jared Fano to attend. I went with great company!
yes another stolen photo
lol that's "j" w/his niece :)
sorry ladies he's engaged!

Meena, Jazzy & I 
in the hall
after the dance
So the dance was perfect & they played Beyonce "We like to Partay" And my favorite jams "Sunshine Girl" I think by Jboog and "Keep it Real" Jon B, Coko & J.Z.
Dancing the Night away w/my sistahs
Manu Fiefita & Tia

And that just made my night.
To be there and enjoy catching up with my friends was priceless. :)

And this is why I love SLC 2nd

I keep getting new job offers & am so happy. Because the 12hr shift Fri-Sun job I landed isn't ideal but a blessing.Well not to mention still getting my feet wet w/my young women of the Southgate Ward. Teaching is so empowering & learning from them is non-stop. Not only did I get to be w/them but today I was able to go back to my other old ward. Lehi 41st & only wish I had more time to have had in saying hi to everyone. But this handsome cousin of mine returned from his mission and his home coming was yesterday.
 Kinga (Mapu) Finau NZ Auckland Mission
Farewell Lehi 41st

My brother Kinga Finau. He doesn't look that much different from that photo. His testimony was so powerful & on fire for missionary work. I was so proud to have had the opportunity to hear his feelings of how he's grown. And I couldn't have made it w/out my sistahfren Dawn Taufui & her family. Her sister Emma is Kinga's best friend & she'll be returning from serving in the Texas Mission. Just a constant reminder to me as an return missionary to be better & don't get lazy in the work. Which I have to admit I can & will be doing way better. Well to end out the night I got the opportunity to drive up to Draper Temple w/another sisterfren Mander Johnson.. Yes us and our random Temple Adventures. It was pretty high on the mountain top but worth the drive.

The photo barely does it justice as to how beautiful the temple is in real life.  I'm ready for another week of new insights, surprises & making new friends. Next Sunday I'll be checking out the mid-singles ward with friends. That's gonna be something to blog about I'm sure.hahaha
I'm lightweight excited since things have been slow around these parts for the last 2 months & 6 days & however many hours to the micro-second of my life.hahaha
Well enjoy my new jam for the day! It's by Mya featuring Marques Houston-Love Me Some You..
I feel he's getting closer guys! Just hope I don't brush him off mistaking someone else as the real deal. :0)
Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Go Getta

I've been dying to post a blog but because of my mood swings. I just didn't feel like posting, re-editing a zillion times & then end up unsatisfied. The sad revealation  of my perfectionist side 
Anyway here I am finally getting in an update of my week. Yesterday I not only got one job. But I landed two jobs and I was super proud of myself. Because Monday I said I was gonna have a job by the end of this week. But I didn't have one & didn't know where I was going to get one. However I was determined to get employed because being jobless Especially when you can't buy stuff.
Oreos, Sushi hmmm getting my eyebrows ok that was t.m.i  hahaha
But with the holidays coming up & my family paying for everything. I had to push harder to get something! anything!
 So where did I turn? None other than to Heavenly Father. But this time I came to recognize even more clearly of a couple of things. One-his tender mercies and how he is constantly blessing us. But we only see those blessings, when we're not complaining about what we don't have. And actually focus on what we do have & what he's trying to give us. If we'd just breathe, wait on him & his timing. Two-How grateful I am that through others my prayers are answered. I was able to attend the Temple & perform baptisms for the dead. And one of the workers suggested that I'd set a goal to come more often. He pointed out one important reason. Would be because in attending the temple regularly. I'm able to witness miracles. And I knew that was something I was short of right now. So his suggestion was taken in very seriously.
 Well that was Tuesday & then Wednesday is when I got the jobs. And I know without a doubt it was due to me putting God first. 
So this week I learned that I've been slacking. That I needed that boost reminder. 
To get me back on track of being more proactive at making things happen.
My eyes have  stronger awareness & testimony that if you want something badd enough you can get it.
Which has to be worked for & sealed with faith.
I think Oprah said it in one of her classes when talking about dreaming big. That not even the sky should be a limit. If you can imagine past the sky, anything is possible. And this past week through my experiences I know that to being true. And am excited for more life lessons that are awaiting me.
On a lighter not "Breaking Dawn" of the twilight series comes out tonight. And I really don't care for the movie. 
 It's alright & I can get through them.
But I'm more excited that I'll get to spend time with my sisters to watch it.
The highlight to laugh & catch up with Teuila,Veronica & Vallene.
The movie is just an attraction for the bonus of what makes going fun. Which is again to be with them.
I forgot if their Team Edward or Jacob fans.. But I'm Team Jacob all the way..
 Enjoy your weekend you all :) and my jam for the week :)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Coming Home

The past two days I haven't been able to really get good rest. But today was a blessing for our family. Celebrating King Tui & our belated bro. Tuau Afo's birthdays.
 King Tui of course woke up hecka early.. Let's say Monday @ midnight to be exact & after his normal midnight routine. He knocked back out & didn't get back up til 11am.. We sang happy birthday twice. Two cakes to let him know just how special he is to us. The family came over & the menu was simple. Kalo,Rice,Corn beef w/onions & cabbage, La Choy chicken, his cake & ice cream. We remembered Tuau being that if he were here. We'd be celebrating his 33rd birthday & of course today MTV Jams just happened to have Doc Dre,Snoop & Tu-pac videos. So I'd like to believe that Tuau was with us. Before Tuau passed those artist were his type of musiq. So thanks to everyone pitching in for dinner. We ate tons. And Sister Teuila always thinking of us. Tui's gonna get a special birthday present from them on Friday. Another one of our Mapu cousins Lacee had her baby girl Penina Rae this evening. Talk about all these beautiful nieces & nephews that are adding onto our family. Plus my sister-in-law Enna should be finding out their baby's gender next Monday. We are super blessed 
as usual.  

Sunday, November 13, 2011

"God is in the Details"

It's a sunny picture perfect semi-wintery Sunday afternoon. Had our Su'a'paia family reunion bake sale last night. My sister the consistant supporter attended on our behalf. And she was kind enough to bring us back goodies. Brownies, half-moon pie,banana bread and cookies.
 A heavenly sight for me but not very helpful in toning down "Baby Greta".
Just got out of my planning meeting with my beehive young women. I forgot how much energy they would have & how they'd do little things I wouldn't be use too off the bat. Already I'm relearning a lot of things. I taught establishing "Good Healthy Habits" & so this week's goal is to live out that challenge. I'm beginning to witness how my converison is changing. How my tolerance is opening up & the importance of what Sister Lily said today in our meeting. "Love every person as a "specific" not as a person who is a "general" among a crowd." Meaning everyone is a person not a number. For some odd reason that was especially profound to me today. Reminding me no one wants to be invisible & everyone should be recognized for their strengthens, comforted in their weaknesses & uplifted while facing their trials.
I applied for Financial Aid hopefully to start school in May. Crossing my fingers because I need to get the ball rolling for higher education. I will have a full-time job by the end of this week. Eight hours from when this blog is posted King Tui will be 19yrs old. For the king, yes I have to count In two days my cousin Kinga Mapu Finau returns from his NZ mission. Excited to see & hear from him. Hoping I don't have to teach yw's when he gives his return report. So I can attend his program :) And that's about it fellow bloggers. Make it a positive week! :) I dare you!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Happy 11-11-11 & Veterns Day!

Winter is fast approaching us & today I got to rack leaves with my brother-in-law Aisea Vainuku. I can't say neither one of us was really excited about it at first. But it was nice to actually get out in the fresh air and move around. Instead of my usual camping on facebook, various internet sites & of course blogging. While out today I started to miss my mission families and thinking of just where my life is heading right now. Which felt good to evaluate while getting my exercise on w/them
 I thought of the day and how it's 11-11-11. The 11th month of the year (Nov), 11th day of the year. This year being 2011 (dropping 20 & keep 11, at the end of that creating 11-11-11) Yesterday on the "Talk Show" a numerologist was explaining this would be a perfect day to set goals and light a white candle while doing it.
So romantic right?lol She went onto say, that if you set these goals you could totally have them completed by New Years. Something about because 11-11-11 is such a special day & that it doesn't occur often. You'd have good luck.
 I just think these superstitions are funny. And when their descriptions are close to how a person is in real life, I find that even more funny. The rest of the day was laundry,cleaning & now more online camping. I really miss my old ward but you guys already know that LOL.. Oh my cousin Leeann Mapu Volavola had her son EJ this morning. He's beautiful.. What an awesome time to be born.
(stolen copy :) to show lee's son off)

Especially as we honor our veterns today. I've found that the older I'm getting the more I'm grateful for & the most gratitude goes to those who fight for our freedoms. Through all we complain about on a daily basis and wish  we had in our reach. We truly are a spoiled bunch & shouldn't just show our thanks during the holidays.
(Another stolen photo of Fano improving, Laie Boi so'o lol)
 I am blessed and recognize it's all due to a loving family, solid friendships & trials overcome that provides me lasting joy. Especially when I concentrate on bragging about my blessings & not wailing about my hardships.
Happy Veterns day! 2 more days til King Tui & Tuau's birthdays! I didn't get to watch the country music awards this past week. :(  But in rememberance of everything that happened this past week. Here's my jam for the night! "Remind Me"
I love these two their harmonies & her echos are tight.!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Joy Rising

So we're grown adults right? And I can mention my "monthly friend" without anyone getting grossed out right? lol And you sisters know when I mention "monthly friend" what I'm talking about. Cause you guys have the same friend right?lol Well this post isn't so much about that, as it does have a vital part of why I've been having so many mood swings & melt downs.
But today wasn't one of those days like my recent postings.
There are three ways I know when my "monthly friend" is gonna pay me a visit. Which maybe totally T.M.I for you all but humor me, I have a point. 
  •  I get really angry w/family quick.
  •  I cry over everything.
  •  I get super tired out of no where.
And this past week it was emotional tear sesh for days. So today we got together with the choir for blu's tribute video. And all these choir memories and having Aniva & Scott Lao from the og's just made the gathering that much more emotional.
Aniva is first cousin's with Blu & so I was able to maintain til right before we closed out. Then came the water works.
But what made me super happy was after we had a short testimony sesh. The spirit was so strong. And when we'd sit to tease, remince of old days and moments created that very minute. The gratitude I have for each of these choir members was so overwhelming. They think they know what it means of how valued they are to us. But they won't really know til we're separated by death. And so I hope through all of our disagreements, offenses towards one another & time spent apart. Its my prayer one day each member will remember the impact they've given & that they were always something to someone. Because for me they are truly my DHC Aiga. Through the good times & the bad. They mean everything to me. I ended out the night with laughs w/these two naughty
Dawn Taufui & Sita Naisilai :)
I haven't laughed so hard in so long. At one point of our bonding time. A man leaving the restaurant stops by us and says "Hey what did they put in there?" Referring to our drinks & we were weirded out & couldn't stop laughing. But Sita was the winner esp since she like ai errrrryfang..hahahaha instant sock on her 
 I'm sure Blu was looking down from heaven thinking these nutheads..
Joy rising with the people I love & know exactly why they were placed in my heart during this time. :) #Grateful

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

You Stupid Cheater! How Could You!

Now social networks have it's ups & downs, right? It could be used for good but most of the time, it's a space where bad news is usually reported. For instance two LDS missionaries in Texas were in a hit & run car wreck. And because we're already dealing with our sister "Blu" passing away this week. I really didn't  want to know the details on these missionaries getting hit. Plus my favorite MC Heavy D passed away too, I think just yesterday. All the sad news has been taking it's toll.  But one of my sisterfrens actually knew and served with  the missionaries that passed away.
So there was no dodging the news.

She reported that they died upon impact.
Which is so sad that there are such cruel people out there, that would do such a thing. And not stop to help who they injured.
 My heart goes out to these missionaries & their families.
I could only imagine what their going through.
Well in my last post I was talking about overcoming & facing my challenges. But today I wish I could report something uplifting & optimistic. And yet at the rate of the way this week has been heading, at the moment I can only bring more sad news.  Just when I thought "Ok I'm coo, I'm  about ready to get my dating on again, give men a fair gain to capturing my heart." Especially since my sisterfrens manda & marlene took me to Temple Square this past Sunday. To clear my mind, recomit in being proactive again and jump back onto the dating radar. 
I was this ------- close to going full force.
But then I came across a disturbing post. That one of my cousin's that I consider my twin & sister. Her status facebook  update informed us that  her husband has been cheating on her. That his mistress blasted him about the affair. And that's how my sister found out.  This other woman had the nerve to tell my sister everything & that it has been going on for five months.
Now I know I'm not suppose to be mad at the woman, because it does take two to tangle.
And with her coming forth was probably a blessing in disguise. Cause who knows if my cousin's husband would've ever man up.
But doesn't mean it was any comforting for my sister. And I believe this year he's been married to my sister for five years.
While he was been getting his side action from this other woman.
This isn't my first time coming across cheaters. Through my parents experience, other family members & friends. I've had to witness this type of incident one too many times..  And for a single woman it just becomes that much harder to want to get married or involved with anyone. I love this sister of mine so dearly and hate that she's going through this right now. I don't know what I would do if I were in her shoes.
 But I know what I would want to do. lol
 Especially because I know she loves her husband so much & she has been nothing but the best wife a person can be in a marriage.
Sometimes that can mess a person up with what would be the best choice.

Whether your a man or woman that cheats. My personal belief is that the cheater is so selfish & a true cowarded. Marriage is such a sacred agreement. And if your still in a "me,me,me" state of being & mind. Then by all means DON'T DATE OR GET MARRIED.. Especially married because if you decide to cheat off the bat or later in life, you just prove what an idiot you truely are to yourself,wife & everyone in your circle. And if you have children in the mix then your even triple times the idiot that doesn't deserve a family.  Anyway! This is not a good day & the verdict is in and I'm NOT Gonna to pursue ONLINE DATE.. If truth can be tainted & embellished over those dating websites. I can only imagine how much more farther from the truth people can be in real life... Making the whole dating process even more difficult to experience. If your a player than I'm sure to be your #1 hater! aRRRRRGGGGhhh my poor sister!

Monday, November 7, 2011

It's Better To Look Up

That photo was taken last night while in the company of my sisterfrens Amanda & Marlene. Off on our many spare of the moment "Temple Adventures."
I got the challenge of my life from them & this is the week to show what I am made of & put action to where my mouth often loves to run off at when challenging others. lol
Reminded that no matter what happens.
It's always better to be of good courage, step in faith and do what I've never have done before to gain what I've never had. Which is funny now that I've done it. I don't really feel so anxious, nervous or afraid. Last night I in a way was taken back at the thought. "Hmmm I think I'm over it."lol But I couldn't tell if that was my fear saying "It's not worth it." And the other thought was "What if this is an answer to a offerred prayer." Either way I felt & still feel my Savior's Love and know everything will work out.
All in all in life it is always best to look up no matter the challenge, no matter the journey or end result, Look UP, Move Foward have Enduring Faith! :)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I See Who He is...

The end of my last post was pretty depressing wouldn't you say?lol Well good thing like the saying goes "When life throws lemons at you make lemonade." And no I didn't make lemonade nor do I plan on making But today I have lots to be thankful for and that would explain the mood change. Not only was today a beautiful sabbath and the kids cheerfully got back to their
Probably appreciating them & the freedom to act however cause their not with "Auntie Meanie" But today I met my niece Melesa Masuisui Afo ,Vice & Maryann's daughter that I told you all about. She is gorgeous isn't she?
And just when I thought we missed her baby blessing. God pulled through & the special moment will actually occur next month. So for sure we're not going to be late & it'll be good to see my cousins. I at least got to visit w/my Mapu sisters. Heidi & Tile Mapu laughing up a storm w/Mz Tile. One of the ushers forgot to give us the water for sacrament. And if anyone knows me & even w/you that don't know me. But have come to have an idea of who I am. When this hardworking priesthood holder forgot us. My usual self would've stood up & make lol (encourage) him to correct his oversight. But today I refrained which gave Tile & I a good laugh. Cause the whole incident though would've been funny. Of course would've been super distracting for everyone. So I just let it sly for both the young mans sake as well as my Anyway while logging onto facebook. I was sadden by the news that one of our choir sisters passed away. "Uini Blue IloIlo Tipeni"
aka "Blue" as she was known to us.
 One of our o.g members & the funniest, most down to earth, lovable, ainokea type of attitudes you can ever meet. But even at that one of the biggest hearts you'd ever be blessed enough to know. I miss her but am happy she's onto the next phaze of her life. To prepare a place for her family. Death isn't easy to live through or attempt to prepare for in this life. It never has and will never be easy. But I know when we have a sound understanding of death coupled with a humble attitude. Our understanding will always lead us to remember God knows best. Then the pain isn't heavy to carry. Cause while we're holding that heartache.. Heavenly Father is carrying us so we won't give up. Which should NEVER BE AN OPTION. Love you Blue!
Now remember the song I told you all I fell in love with last post. Well here it is & not to keep this on a sad note over this post. I love this song written by a sister I love.
EtiVise Wolfgramm Epenisa which she's dedicated to her belated eternal companion. A true testament of eternal love, endurance and faith. Hoping to keep you married folks aware that covenant is a privilage to be cherished. Not a relationship to be trampled over & misused in anyway. Don't take advantage of what you have today. Just to have it taken away & then remorsefully appreciated because you no longer have that gift. Thank you vise for beautiful musiq!

P.S. still mowing over the whole
online dating choice. Praying I don't regret my :)
"Baby Greta" needa "babe daddy" and if online dating is the place to look. Then mama's gonna have to be humble.baaahhahaha But like I said still
mowing over We'll see cause I swear
I know him, just a matter of finding him
here kitty kitty where are you. Oh how I kill myself w/my humor. hahaha lol

Seasonal Fall Back

There's not a sound in the house but the touch of my fingers against this keyboard. And the background music of a song that I have fallen in love with, which I'll blog about later this week. Eleven minutes to 2 am and then we'll be setting our clocks back an hour.
Due to the fact that today is daylight savings weekend.  Welcoming in the snowy winter wonderland we have had these last two days. With the recovering of King Tui this past week. I volunteered to baby sit for my siblings kids last night. So we had a full house and if their kids could choke me. They probably would for my house And though at times they would get out of hand. Rochelle, Baby Rocky & Kengike accompained by little Tui.  All they'd have to do is smile or say something sweet & I'd melt in their hands. But being the "mean auntie" I'd never clue them in on I would just slyly make a joke or lower my tone of voice to let them know that my "barking" wasn't really that scary. lol But it was out of love. Anyway their sound asleep and it was a good night. King Tui was very happy to have them over as well as the rest of us.
Today our brother Vice Afo had his baby shower. He and his wife maryann adopted her brother's baby girl Melesa Masuisui Afo. So happy & proud of them and can't wait to meet the little angel. Got to talk to my sister rena ripley today. Her and the rest of our sugarhouse sisters are working on their music. And doing great & so sushi on her in a few weeks. Can't wait lol! Other then that just been enjoying time blogging my life a way and because of my old yw's Mel & Marie Pakalani. I'm totally addicted to "Words with Friends" off of facebook. And am only barely getting good. Aside from resigning matches when ppl score 100 plus points over me lol It actually is a good game. oka I know so But maybe not as depressing then what I'm about to Prepare yourselves for a good laugh. Cause you thought that picture of "Baby Greta" was something. Well you ain't heard or seen nothing Drumroll please... or should I say "Hey YOU! yes you! call 911 it's an emergency I'm about to flatline with this breaking news I'm gonna share"..hahaha
Alrightie here's my news.
I am highly considering joining an online dating service. These types of sites are to help people meet one another. And believe you me! This isn't an ideal thing to admit that I'm considering or even want to use as a dating tool. But at this point.. Which may sound like my very own personal breaking point. Slash midsingles melt down. At giving up on men that just won't WAKE UP.LOL 
 I've come to consider online dating may have to be my option right now.  And not only because I'm tired of doing all the asking. Resulting to one or two dates that lead to nothing at the end. I'm running out of ideas of what approach to take up.  Ask him out? and be judged as being desperate!
Don't ask him out!  and be judged as a coward. I just don't know anymore & that just makes dating undesirable..
Anyway I'm not bitter fellow bloggers.
Nor am I desperate to date anyone right now. I'm just trying, not to lose my desire to date. Been there & don't wanna revisit that space. Well this was my venting out on online dating becoming a big possiblity. Even though my heart has a name but my fear of repeated rejection. Won't let me explore a follow through.. Oh the joys! Move forward or like the hours of this season should I just fall back?That is the :) Oka give me a heart attack instead! That would seem so much less dramatic, arrrgggh... :)

Friday, November 4, 2011

U.G.L.Y! You UGLY! Yah Yah!

 You ain't got no alibi! You ugly!lol Do you remember that cheer? If you forgot how it goes. Check out these cheerleaders. "Bring it on" cheers ain't got nothing on And the lead lady I swear she was the auntie off of the "Jamie Foxx Show"

Anyway I wanted to bring this topic up because this post is centered on beauty. And since the holiday season is fast approaching and everyone is concerned about weight gain or loss. I figured I'd throw out my thoughts on the issue. Raised as a dancer for our family Polynesian show. I remember growing up admiring my older girl cousins & their beauty. But always thinking, why are they always so worried about their weight? Especially since they were and are so gorgeous. Inside & out! And it didn't help that my pops & uncles were always keeping tabs on everyone. Making sure everyone kept & maintain a certain size. Bad! just one of the reasons, my girl cousins were so concerned about their weight! Which sucked! Because all of us look back now. At our old photos with thoughts of, "Man I wish I was that size again." Left to believe that back then we were fat. Well we must be some superdupa obese hotties If that was the standard for being fat. Longing for that time when  
 we was some skinny minis. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
So I decide to conceive the idea of this self created bellybump right here. Taking the approach of a pregnant woman's process and turn my idea into a weight loss tracker. Since my bellybump has taken that form of a prego lady's size. And nope I'm not pregnant though it may look like it. :)  :( lol  And so the next 9 month's I'll be blogging about my bellybump.
I've even have gone as far as naming her.
Meet Baby Gret conceived Thursday Nov.3,2011. Details to be posted in future blogs. This is to track my attempt in toning Baby Greta. lol 
To journal the importance of appearance. Upkeep and the emotions that go along with weight loss. At any age or stage of  a common women's life, like myself to try & pursue & retain my sanity, in a world almost at times possessed on the matter of weight loss..
Here is Baby Greta at hmmm?? I don't know a month? lol I don't know I've never been prego.. So you mommies or soon to be mommies correct me if I'm wrong. lol
Sorry the angle sucks because I'm not good at these kind of photoshoots. Anyway I feel it important to teach women the value of what beauty should mean to them. In sharing my progress through this project. I can't point out enough that this is for a persons only personal pace. I want to prevent you my sisters & fellow blogger friends. To keep from falling victum, of comparing yourselves to other women and what their weight loss successes are & have become Enlightening that you should be your own competitor. Instead of sizing yourselves up against other women.  So we can begin to see & recognize ourselves as who we truly are to those that matter. First of all yourself first & then everyone else's opinion is secondary. Not vice versa to trump your own opinions..
 That each woman is a  beautiful,inspiring,"more than their bodies", smart,spiritual giant type of woman. And if we never get to these worldly model sizes.

Or the sizes of our old youth pictures. It really is ok! Just as long as we keep ourselves at a health size. And losing the weight safely. So you can enjoy your families for many years to come. Oh ya! that's another reason I wanted to tone my Baby Greta. In hopes when I do have my own kids. My body is up to par and I don't add to any health complications. That could put them at risk. I hope you sisters come to a realization that you are exactly what I'm saying. B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L! You BEAUTIFUL, Bah Bah Baaah BEAUTIFUL! You ain't need no alibi.

 In my goals in controlling my weight. The biggest helper has been don't stress the small stuff, don't pay mind to people that are energy suckers & lean on those that can keep me/you keep above water. So you or I don't drown in our sorrows. And if your losing weight for a man. That's a gurantee plan to fail! If you go that way. Losing weight for the wrong reasons is a free ticket to stress. Which can end up to being fatal or setting yourself up for a longterm eating disorder. That goes for not eating as much as it does for over-eating. Eating your emotions isn't healthy.
I know that for a fact from personal experience.
 If that man ain't going to love you for you & motivate you to lose weight in a positive way. Not only is he not a real man in my book. He doesn't love you! Let me say that again so you get it. HE DOESN"T LOVE YOU & is seeking after a trophy wife or girlfriend to put out on disply. When he himself, may look like an overweight couch potato or a fathead wannabe Mr.GQ.. When his inner appearance is as shallow as his outter. He is not the business or one that should be entrusted with your heart my sisters.
 You get my drift? Hope you do! So lose it right is all I want to stress or just lose the Either way do it for you!
 My saving grace today was my sister Teuila. I've mentioned how my mom can drive me crazy. Well with uplifting encouragement and comments to make me laugh. Teuila help me see I need to relax & just breathe. So what could've been worse actually turned out for the better.

Here's King Tui before he went into surgery this past Tuesday to remove his tonsils. They were getting to big and blocking his airway. He did great & has been recovering really good. Isn't he handsome? I know it!lol
Well here's my least jam gotta love beyonce! Hoping
to getting my  dance party on soon. Haven't gone dancing since I aged out of the singles ward. It sucks and I miss going big time! Omg midsingles wards get with it! :)