Tuesday, February 28, 2012


One of my favorite comedians and author Steve Harvey stated in his book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man", never tell a man what you want. Test him but never tell him exactly what you want because if you do then he'll trap you. Do all the nice things at first & once your hooked he'll start to mistreat you. Like that line in "Preacher's Kid" when Tank's says "Love them now, Dog them later." And unfortunately, I've seen guys and girls do that to their significant other. Acts of selfishness rather than kindness.  And I know that Steve Harvey has a lot of truth behind what he's saying. But for me, I just think the  games people play are dumb and waste time. In my own simple mind, I'd like to believe that people would use their common sense. The golden rule if you will, treat others the way that they would want to be treated in return.

Which brings up a few things, has Chivalry died? And if so why? I understand women want to be independant and men don't want to look like a wuss.. But why, is it such a frowned about gesture, to show people that you care? Even if you don't end up married, about to bare your first child in baby's carriage, with a white picket fence & all. Why is it so weird to be kind? But so accepting to be a dawg..
Well I think people are dumb! When it comes to hiding how they feel about someone their digging. What is gained by  choosing to hold back? Or better yet expressing the feelings you have but choose to let them out indirectly sending out mix signals. What is really benefited from acting out in that way?Other than fear for nothing & pride that causes both invovled to lose out on a journey to gain potential love..
Whether it's a person wanting to be a gentlemen and opening doors, pulling out chairs and standing up when their lady walks into a room. Why not?
Or on the ladies end, when they worry too much about what their friends think, about their potential love interest. If he isn't the next hot model on the cover of vibe magazine, holds high status in religious or public view or owns a fancy car. 
Why can't it be good enough that he provides the simple things, protects without being asked and professes his love willingly no matter in public or in private. Why not? I'm not saying settle for someone that doesn't have ambition. Oh no! never that! But I am saying, Why not let someone express chivalry once in awhile? Especially if it comes second nature to them.

Like I said I think people are dumb, when they are quick to judge others on what is and isn't acceptable in a person's relationship. My thoughts are if your feeling someone say it, do something about it. But don't get stuck in fear & pride. It will kill you & leave you questioning "What if I?" dot dot dot.. I should've, could've and would've but I didn't.dot dot dot

 So am I a hypocrit? For judging these people for judging those people, about their preference of do's and don'ts of dating. Hmmm, I don't think so. But you may beg to differ, my point at the end of the day. And it's okay if you don't agree, everyone has a right to their own opinion. However this is what I've learned.  By not being afraid of expressing myself, when I've liked a guy. I've grown stronger, I've come to a knowledge of what I do and don't want. And I come to better understand of myself. All in all I'm still learning how to improve my communication skills. By biting the bullet & letting guys know when I'm into them.
I've played a fool for love 100% of the time. With each crush I've loved them with all of my heart. But have I been madly in love each time? hmm maybe and at the time I thought so.. But it's never been manifested in them loving me back.  Or else I would've been had a ring on it, cause not only would he have liked it, but fo'sho he would've wanted it. lol Is it heart wrenching to get rejected repeatedly? Yes.. Have I come off desparate? Most likely yes.. Do I regret giving my heart to each of them? NEVER.. And I wouldn't do it any differently if I had to do it over again. Because again not only have I grown stronger. But there will be a day that each of them will know. That there was a time in their life, that someone loved them for everything they were, could be and what they eventually turned into at the end. And I will always be grateful to have been that person.

So as I wait for my knight and shining prince.lol  And until then I refuse to be crippled by my fear of gaining love. Just because in my deck of cards I keep getting dealt the "Rejection Card." Nope! I will not be crippled by that fear and taken out of the game that easily. Being open to expression is a gamble. But it's better than not trying.  And that is why I say "Don't be afraid of Love." Just don't! Because years will pass by & then your left with regret, that you didn't risk loving just because there was a possiblity for getting hurt. Everyone gets rejected, no one wants to be alone and yes taking that leap of faith does cause alot of anxiety. Especially if you haven't been with someone for a long time. Whether it's expressing chivalry or admitting you are into someone, either way whatever the result ends up being. Chancing it will be worth it. Even if you end up with a broken heart. Because at least you'll know you took the risk to be brave. Which will only bring you that much closer to the one who will love you with all their heart. It's either fight or flight for the greatest gift, that I can imagine anyone could be blessed to have in their lives. Which is LOVE.. DON'T BE AFRAID OF LOVE... At least for me, I still believe real love still exist. And chivalry is a bonus blessing to that gift. And  for this  generation is a necessity, we need more of nowadays. What it comes down to, its all about taking care of the other's heart. But it won't happen if you don't open your mouth. Chivalry is it dead?

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Eternal Love

I've decided to disclose "Susie's" real name in this blog. To pay true tribute for a woman, I only knew for a split second. And yet yesterday at her funeral services I witnessed so many things about womanhood. That hiding her name, to me feels like I'm hiding who she is,was and can be to you all. Since you don't know her either. Well that person  that I met through Samoana Matagi who  was suffering from breast cancer & exactly a week ago today she passed away. Her name is Tu'uali'i Faleafaga Enosa survived by her daughter Katelin & husband Papu Enosa.

That's her and Katelin in that lovely photo.
Like I said I was able to attend her services.

As I sat to listen to all the testimonies born about her life through family & friends. Through each one of them, it was evident that who I met 12 days ago. Was exactly who Tua was in healtier days prior. A loving, fun, giving, compassionate, bold, service oriented, Christlike daughter of God. Everything was given from her heart merely to uplift all that came in contact with her. The entire meeting I kept thinking, "Man I wish I could've known her" followed by an instant "But man am I happy I got to serve her at least once before her passing." And hear her whisper back to me; "Love you too" The only time I would hear her speak as we said our goodbyes that first visit and to find out that following Sunday she had passed away. A choice spirit she is and the impact she's left with me, will never be forgotten. ;)

As the services ended  one of the Bishops shared a letter Tua wrote to her family. As the pianist played "Families can be together forever" her testimony replaced the lyrics. And there were no fighting back the tears. I felt her plea to a struggling spouse to seal her to them. Especially because Katelin is her only child, I felt the burning testimony of a convert that didn't know how to quit on God no matter the struggle, I witnessed that she truly knew the power of the Atonement. Not only did it heal her physically but everything else. Because of Tua I know even more fully, what it means to be a true disciple of Christ. And nothing else matters at the end but that we love,forgive and fight the good fight & don't give up. This taking a whole new meaning in me. Eternal Love is about families being together forever.. Forever grateful for her amazing,enduring love & heart.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Porn Isn't it About Time?

NOOOOO IT'S NEVER TIME FOR PORN.. Are you crazy? But believe you, me! I'm not judging anyone because sad to say, everyone has their addiction or preference of entertainment. And secondly I unfortunately receive that junk in my regular mail. Am I an undercover freak? closet hoe? NOPE I'm not, but without fail on a monthly. That stuff addressd in my name, comes in the mail for me. And I hate it because that's not me. I've never been on those websites & vow to never ever get sucked into that world. Because it really doesn't matter if your LDS or not. That type of addition can kill any relationship,testimony or soul. Is this a blog to defend my innocence because of what I've shared? Not really, because people will believe what they want to believe about me. And those who matter will know that I don't subject myself to those things.
 And what I've come to understand, through this unfortunate monthly mishap. Is that all that matters is God &I know for sure that I don't get down like that at all. The motivation for this blog is for someone, I love dearly who is dealing with this trial concerning their spouse. And I want to make it clear that it can happen to anyone. The poorest of men/women to the richest.  And when and if it does to open peoples eyes that there is a way out. Especially if your LDS and the standard we live. People ignorantly sin and then make it worse on themselves to think there is no solution to their sin. When there is and that's called the ATONEMENT OF JESUS CHRIST.  Which gives them the opportunity to be saved.. Asking for it is why Christ died for us and don't ever think it's to late to overcome it. Because it's not ever! And  that's why I'm blogging about this issue.

I wanted to hear you allz feedback, so I can support this friend of mine. I hear that being married intensifies everything. When your in that "honeymoon stage" expressing love for one another. Its heaven on earth and then when the "comfort stage" sets in things can get crazy. Almost a daily hellish scene. So if this was your friend or if you've experience this with your spouse.
What would you tell them to do? What advice would you give that is most effective.
This friend of mine is going through a support 12 step program with her spouse. But it almost seems to me with the limited info that I have on the info. It sounds like my friend is feeling hopeless. Who wouldn't? But even though their fighting to hang on the dispair is real. I understand that I might not get a lot of advice, on this topic because it's a case by case situation. And you can't really say anything til your in it. But any help would do.

(Real Love, Godly Love endures all things through Eternal Love)

I feel for my friend but at the same time I know this is going to be a total testimony builder for the both of them. It's just crazy all these recent events that are coming up. And how the attack on families and couples just seem to be getting worse. I'm just like whoa Eternal Marriage? Is it really gonna come? Is it worth it? And when it comes soon will I be faithful enough to keep working at it? Especially if all my friends are going through these crazy test, how ready am I? I'm not saying I don't want it.. Because obviously with my every blog there is some linking msg to that subject. But I do know I'm more and more grateful I haven't ended up just anybody. And so I have to tip my hat off to all you married, involved, divorcees and engaged friends. If I were in your place I don't know if I could stand it. Anyway hit me up with your thoughts on "Porn isn't it About Time?" Cause for me and mine it will never. But if I can learn from you guys and your approaches even better for my future family & kids. To prepare them to overcome that trial if we ever have to face it.

Love you all & hit me up at ovaafo7@gmail.com or facebook if your to ma, aka embarassed to express yourself on this one. Happy Saturday!

Sunday, February 19, 2012


I've been told countless times before that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Which depending on the experience, sometimes it's a good thing and at most times not so good. Because I'm that much more vunerable at getting hurt. And yet even after the fact, I can say I really don't mind. Only because through those moments, I'm drawn closer to God. Which then allows me to also wear my faith willingly side by side my heart. Today my faith was tested but rather than getting all into that with endless details.

 I am a little sadden by the news I received about my new found friend Susie. Remember the one who was battling breast cancer that I blogged about recently? While our choir Divine Heritage was in Alpine Utah testifying through music for Elder Blake Mckenzie's mission homecoming sacrament.  Unknowingly to us, I had a sitting msg awaiting me stating Susie passed away.

 Remember I didn't know her that long, less then a week to be exact. Met her Monday, had a few of the DH sisters sing for her thursday and was suppose to go over there tonight. And things had changed in a blink of an eye, causing us to reschedule. On our way back from Alpine I didn't know anything & was thinking "Kay pace yourself don't let Satan win."
And then when I caught word about Susie passing. A simliar  thought crossed my mind "Kay pace yourself don't overextend." In other words don't be overbaring.. Which is a battle that's been a constant annoyance.. Anyway Satan keeps manifesting himself to me more and more everyday. As I do what it takes to keep on the Lord's side and help all in whom I love to stay with him. I'm grateful for people like Susie that I will always rely on for spiritual strength. More motivated to lengthen my stride in God's service like it's my last second on earth. There is no time to be a mediocre saint. Time isn't on our side and living as if we're on a timeless probationary state is foolish. A little sadden but still standing.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Feeling Rejected

Today Whitney Houston was laid to rest, a good friend's boyfriend was baptized and I spent the first half the day with family. We watched Whitney's funeral services in awe of the spirit that was there. I didn't know this woman personally. However the power behind the music & testimonies that beamed out of that Baptist Church proved alot.

For instance beginning with someone who said I believe it was either Tyler Perry or Kevin Costner. And most likely I may be wrong but I'll leave that up to you guys to correct. Anyhow they said "The grace that brought her into this world, is the same grace that took her home." And that reminded me of a saying I stumbled over while watching "Man on the Ledge".. I came into this world innoncent and I plan to leave this world innoncent. Which I assume was what she might've been saying through the many testimonies that were shared today.

So while reflecting on those sayings, this past week's experiences & what's ahead of us. I can't help but be grateful & to keep proclaiming how grateful I am for life. Not just for life but the life I am choosing to put into it. Because I'm finally getting why I am here. Where I'm going and how to enjoy the journey. Enjoy the journey just like my sister Dawn Taufui would counsel, when I'd get bent out of shape about things.

Well every step that I made this week has strengthen me and has put me in my place. I've recognize that through my blogging and internet testifying..lol yes there is such a thing :) I just made it up..lol But yeah through those avenues, I'm getting the bigger picture.. I understand that rejections hurts like hell.. But it is necessary so I can retain humility. I understand that loneliness is a given. Especially when standing for truth and righteousness. I'm learning that their is always a good way to saying or presenting things, without being on the  defensive, doubtful and angered when ppl don't agree. Because in the end when the spirit carries that message and the receiver is in tune. I understand miracles happen.

But through everything, I'm face with today, at this very second. I understand that allowing "God to work on me" is a must in order to feel newness that can renew someone else's faith. I understand people need love. And I have to love them no matter what, because it's what God would have me do.. And because God is love, I have to forget myself every second,minute and hour of the day. That's how I put life back into my life to fullfill his purpose. There is no other way. But through his son Jesus Christ. And when the battles and wars are won. I will be found on his side. Glorifying him in Heavenly Song now on earth & when I'm called back, encircled by his loving arms. Rejection then will be of no worry or issue.. That's whats on my heart and mind.. Through your testimony have you comitted to his cause of search & rescue? Are you givining vision to the unvisionaries of who suffer spiritual blindness, because they know not where to find Christ? Are you rescuing the rejected or are you just letting them pass through life alone, because you won't make time?What are you doing?

Friday, February 17, 2012

Get Over it! Overlandl!!!

As of lately we've been so busy and in my last five post I've been tryin to motivate others by my experiences. How to have a better relationship with God, retain a positive attitude and how to keep on keeping on esp when giving up would be so easy. Well today to expand on those post, I wanted to share my feelings about being a victum, survivor and

I know that we all get tested. And it doesn't mean if I overcome one test that's the end of it and I won't keep getting tested. There might be breaks in between those test. But most times they just flow non-stop like the oceans that make up our world. They may trickle in like a mid-April shower very gentle and refreshing. Other test might come in as  thunderous lightening that shock our hearts, like a sudden storm out of the twin cities.. The point is getting tested by opposition is life & how we react to it can make or break our character, relationships and future.

So my question is what part are you playing? Are you a victum,survivor or hero? Do you allow your circumstances to control you? Or do you control your circumstances by controlling your thoughts, that form your eventual reaction or actions. I've been brought to a rude awakening. Of just how much I need to improve in how I think.Not just when I'm going through my trials, but like that non-stop flow of the oceans.. I have to control how I think constantly.Thirty four years old and being a lot of negative things through the years .

 I've come to witness this much recently about myself. I can continue the next 30 plus years being that same negative person. Or I can take accountablity of my choices and be the hero that God says I am. With every relationship we have, when we are actively aware that we have a CHOICE to be a victum, survivor or hero. Then we are able to make better choices to empower self and others. Instead of breaking self and others down.. Pick your battles carefully or in other words, GET OVER IT!

The benefits of being a hero is that you don't make up excuses for your behavior. You act out by living a fuller life and not settling for laziness, grudges and fear. Your eternal perspective keeps you in check and you treat people the way they deserve. Instead of mistreating them because you CHOSE to settle for feeling like a victum & survivor. It goes back to that talk I aways refer to concerning choices.
 There's a good,better and best way of doing things. Click on this talk &GBB I relapse in my efforts because change isn't easy. But again the point is get over it by getting over yourself. And what better way then to serve because of love. Not just because we experience tests that annony us and want an easy out.
In reality because Christ never got a break and did everything to help us not to suffer so much or as he suffered when he was here. We really have no right to complain. But if you are a complainer. Have your moment then get over it. Quickly! by choosing the right & get over yourselves. Otherwise you not only end up serving Satan.You end up helping him win you over and the people you affect in your power of influence.Either your a victum,survivor or hero.. If your not a hero holla I'm here all day long to help.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Dying Young

"If any of you lack wisdom let him ask of God." James 1:5  If we all would heed more of that counsel on a daily basis. How much heartache we would minimize in our lives? I would imagine awhole lot concerning the choices we make. Well that day  I visited with & Susie & her family. My mom & I spent the rest of the day together.. With the fresh lessons that I had just learned from susie.. My eyes were open wide on the fact of life, that we almost are never prepared for death. The reality of it and how it tends to creep up on us. Death is as much a part of life as is birth.  And we're all afraid of the unknown.. But I know after this week & my mom constantly preping me for when she dies. I know I will be a hot mess & feel a zillion emotions. And yet one thing will be sure. I will have good friends, family & Lord that will lift that experience from me.
And I feel lost & uncertain about choices concerning the  death of any one I love. I will have this scripture to fallback on,  "If any of you lack  wisdom let him asks of God." Prayers offerred in humility will uphold the weak and faithless. I am alive and rescuing is my mission.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Love is a Daily Choice

My only struggle this Valentines was the fact that I've had so much to write about concerning the last 24 hrs. That I haven't been able to formulate the exact words to express myself. But I  have to say my Vday was just as amazing as my Pre-Vday. All because I didn't mopp around feeling sorry for myself. I kept a positive attitude through the day & got moving early. I gave without seeking to gain. And yet I still received more than I deserved.

Through Samoana I had the opportunity to  make new friends today. One in whom I met was this extraordainary  woman, let's call her Susie for identity sake.  A blessing to have spent a couple of hours with  this choice daughter of God. I was taken back by her presence for a few reasons. One, I've never been by anyone, other than King Tui who would be expected to  die. And yet here I was in the mist of a woman that I didn't even know or have ever met prior. And except the facts that we share a love for the Gospel & Sam's friendship as a mutual connection. Surprisingly to them it didn't feel ackward at all. Even without Sam being present as middle man.
I knew why I was there and Tuali'i seem to be alright, welcoming me in with her quiet  dignity, eyes of strength, that seem to have so much to say. But observant to her surroundings she layed quietly. Her unbreakable will power shined. Allowing people to serve her was an eye-opener of humility. She is dying from breast cancer & she's only the 2nd person I've ever met with this illness.  But being in her company its evident she's gonna fight til her last breathe. 

Since hearing her circumstance & a few unsettling details. I know I needed this visit just as much as Susie. So I can witness sorrow, determination to overcome trials and how to better prepare being a spouse, steadfast one at that & to value every second of the day. I asked sam if I could go alone to get a feel of her personality. But the great thing about my time with susie was she wasn't alone. 
Assuming she had no one by her side to offer support. But I was happily mistaken.

No more than five minutes to sitting down. Visitors began pour through. The constant doorbell rings of visitors that stopped over. With Valentine gifts, flowers, Manu Samoa Rugby blankets and conversations to fill her day. That I came to see that susie is loved because she choose during her healthy days to love. And I was honored to learn that lesson again through her, her daughter Kay and family.. It's my testimony that she's going to survive. No if, ands ,ors about it.. But if lol and only if the Lord sees fit, that she returns to him soon. Through kay her only child susie will live on & all of us that have been able to be touched by this angel aka Susie. We are better human beings because of her Christlike example. We are whole :)

Two Faced

Are you two faced? Do you hide what your thinking, feeling and have to say? Are you two faced? I'd have to say yes I am. Over things I feel will help keep people from getting hurt in the long run. Is it a good thing? I use to think it wasn't.. And the first time I heard the phrase I was in 6th grade. Living in Gardena, California and back then they'd have us line up in our grade. Then our teachers would come out & get us. Everyone always wanted to be in the front of the line. And on this particular day I  was first & my meauli friend standing by would never get a chance to be first. So I noticed and let her cut in front of me. Then another friend or now that I look back "so called friend" blurted out "your so two faced".. Obviously upset that I didn't offer her the spot. And I remember tearying up because one I knew what she said wasn't nice. To make matters worse, I believed what she had said about me. Her argument for the rude comment. Well the day before I had complained, about this same  meauli friend being rude to someone else we were playing against. And today I let her cut in line was her defense. Well of course I got over it but everytime I hear that phrase. I often relive that experience.

Which had me thinking again; "Are you ______ (insert name) two faced? The only time I feel it's appropriate is when anger is invovled. And a person's emotional outburst is delayed til they can think straight & react more sanely rather than insanely.. :) Well I've been going through somethings and this topic popped into my mind. And I don't usually do conversational blog post. But I thought this would be a perfect one to get you alls feedback. So please post comments & lets discuss this issue.

Why do you think people are two-faced about who they are in a society that isn't worth keeping up with unless their building people up? School me  Fellow bloggers :) I was watching VH1 soul and was busting up at this video.. Music we grew up on :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Big Pre-Valentine's Miracle

Remember when I mentioned in my "Angry Bird" post how I've been doing what it takes to control my anger. Well it seems to be whenever Mondays roll around. Those are the days I get the most tested. Because we seem to constantly attempt each week to hold Family Home Evening. But each week I fail because of laziness, selfishness or anger. And I went through that exact cycle again this Monday. But one of the miracles that took place first was I made a real effort. Held my peace and we got through the opening exercises.
Right before prayer mom was quoting out of Sheri Dew's book "God wants a Powerful People" and was looking for her place. I happened to turn to my handsome valentine King Tui and just as I looked. He said "Oh my God"

In perfect pitch and clarity exactly like Baby Kengike would
say if he were here. But he'd say "What the Heck!" lol
Well all of a sudden as if I just seen a ghost. Or you would've thought Tui got off of the couch and started to walk. As soon as I heard him say "Oh my God" I seriously started crying for at least two minutes. And  as usually in our family showing outward affectionate emotion is almost voodoo or something to express.
However I couldn't fight back the tears and even though I'm the crybaby of the family.lol I tried but failed to hide that from my mom. . And all I kept thinking was if I didn't push my pride cycle aside last night.. Who's to say I would've witness Tui utter those words so clearly. And it wasn't that he said it irreverantly at all or was using God's name in vain. But the fact that was so clear & noticable is what brought me to tears. My unexpected miracle today & I could only imagine my experience with King Tui. That feeling must be comparable to when a parent sees their child make his first footsteps, graduates from college or gets married. I will never forget hearing those words from my valentine, our baby brother King Tui.
Me,Nancy & Sistah Rosie

After getting over my pride and witnessing that loving moment with Tui. We had a visit from our sister Rosie who flew in from Vegas. She came just in time when family home evening was about to get heated. Because of course I'm fia'poko lol. Anyway haven't seen our sister since auntie vena passed away last december. To have her in the house has brought back alot of happy memories, to end our fhe in prayer & hear about her current adventures and dreams getting fullfilled. Has reminded me that there isn't anything more lasting then the love of family.
 So by far this Valentine's and Pre-Valentine Miracles & gifts has kicked off on a good note for me. And I'm grateful for the love I've received  and continue to receive everyday. I am loved and I'm grateful God is Good all the time.. This isn't just a holiday for sweethearts that are together romanticly. But a special day to express love to everyone. Again God is soo good to me and I praise him :)

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Love without Care

I just got back from our fireside at the Joseph Smith Blding. But before I report on what I learned there. I want to testify about what I learned from our sister Dauna Bates. She was a non-member while she sang in our  Divine Heritage Choir. Back in 2007 I think? Anyway she has always been such a fire cracker of someone with massive energy, positive thinking and acceptance. And she always I mean always testifies with love. She gives a mean hug for a palagi.. :) must be the hidden samoan in her :)

If you could meet her you wouldn't be able to resist her love.
Well she sang amazing grace as a solo today. And she pretty much challenged us to love everyone. Nothing new right?We should be doing that already as members?

 Well what I got from her testimony is to love without care. Meaning if your gonna love don't let others limit your. Don't care about other peoples opinions. Of why you love the way you do in expression & why you love the people you do. Dauna pretty much was blunt about. Love even if people are unlovable and choose to reject your love. Spoken like a true sister missionary our dauna.. :)

 She shared how when she use to work for Pioneer Hospital.. There were a few people that gave up hope on themselves and in general on life. So with all the charity of heart that our sister has in her. During these long shifts when needed. She would sing to her patients. Small & simple ways of helping people gain peace & hope.

 So with that I pose a few questions. Who are you serving in your own lives? Are you waiting to be served? Do you feel entitled that you need to be served, because you've done X Y and Z on your life list of accomplishments? Do you dare feel that God actually owes you something?

 And if you don't believe in God. Do you feel that everyone you encounter, owes you back for what you've give them? Is that how you think life should be lived? Is your life motto the following? I do just enough for people. And I  refuse to go out of my way for them because it's every man for himself.
And if someone has a problem with my attitude. Then HELLLO! That's their problem not mine. It's my life, my time and they'll just have to get by on their own or through someone else.
Are you that person?

Cause ignorantly, if your that willing to give someone else the blessings that Heavenly Father is trying to give you. YES I'm talking to YOU! If  that's really how you think?? Wow!
 I pity the fool. And yes I said fool. Because only a fool would purposely blind themselves to why we're here. Why we were created.  Which is not to serve ourselves but be willing to serve God's children.
Which is to be  "His Hands" on this earth.One of my favorite choir songs that we sing.
Here's a line;

"My hands are the lord's hands without me
how could his work be done?"

To hear the rest or get the lyrics join our choir. :) Dauna did and look at her now. She's an active member heading to serve a full-time mission. Out to be our Lord's hands.. We were just a stepping stone for her to acknowledge who she is which is a Child of God. We did the easy part by opening our mouths in testifying through music. She's the one who did all the work. To get converted and catch the fire of the covenant.

Which brings me to what I learned from our fireside tonight.
Our keynote speaker once again was my dear friend Samoana Matagi. The same one who testified two weeks ago at my ward. This is who I see Sam as
A goofy, spirited, strong missionary
But because of his accident back in 2010
this is what people would see today in meeting Sam for the first time.
The same goofy, spirited strong missionary but this time without his hands.
And tonight as he testified about his mom not being a quitter through having to battle dialysis.
His brother Fatu losing his arm in a similar way that almost killed him. A few years before sam's accident..
Then dealing with his father going in & out of the jail system. But a man that never quit on keeping his testimony of God going. Determined to keep on building his relationship with our Father despite his circumstance. 
 Then Sam's own personal road of opposition, through his own story that he lives to overcome everyday.

All I kept thinking was
we who have all our limbs, who aren't suffering from mental, emotional & physical conditions.
 How could we be so selfish in standing still in our service to God? How can we be so selfish in thinking we have it so badd? When others like sam and his family endure these types of experiences.
 How can we dare feel sorry for ourselves? And then I remember this;
 What's easy for me isn't gonna be easy for someone else.. And vice versa. So just because I'm full throttle on living the Gospel because I know that God loves me. Doesn't mean it's easy for the next person to feel as passionate or has the strength to fight to gain that desire..
 And so Sam went onto say "I vow to all of you tonight that I'M NOT GONNA QUIT, I'M NEVER GONNA QUIT THE GOSPEL."  And that moved me, had me thinking to myself. Why should any of us quit on ourselves when we choose the Lord? When we're on the winning team? When everyday through someone, in your life God is trying to answer your prayer of
"Heavenly Father I can't do this anymore,"
Heavenly Father I'm tired of this life take this pain away from me,"
Heavenly Father no one loves me or understands what I'm going through
I don't mean nothing and I am nothing!"

Are you listening to his voice or your own?
And if you hear him, why aren't you moving towards his light instead of remaining in the dark?

Well Sam concluded on that note of DON'T YOU BE A QUITTER CUZ HE SURE WON'T & it strengthen me with more hope. That as he challenged us to not quit in life and in living the Gospel.
 Prior to our fireside in meeting with Sam & what I hope you all will learn. That what I was trying to get across to him. Is that he's more than his hands. His old hands and current hands for that matter. Which maybe didn't need to be addressed. But I felt strongly had to be. And in challenging him to see the vital reason he is needed in our choir. 
 Is to remind us with clarity. Not to take for granted what we have

"If you really knew God & that he loves you, then you would never flinch in the eye of opposition and trial." Til my last breathe all will know they belong with Heavenly Father!
What are you doing to gain that knowledge
that you are Gods Sons & Daughters?

The Priesthood
Our Testimony through song & spoken word
and the ability to assist the Spirit
to bring broken souls back to Christ
that through his atonement they can be made whole again. 

In sam's case it was and will never be about having him participate in our choir. So he can be constantly expose to the public, for his current hands because their different from ours. Or to get more people to attend choir or to increase our fireside numbers. Because his current bodily limbs are so evident to the naked eye. NO! that's not at all the objective that I have. The point again is to prove the value of everyone isn't about  what appears on the outside. For you who are reading. It's much more than that its about you knowing, you are more then what you limit and allow yourselves in seeing of yourselves. Your best selves that your unstoppable if you, again allow yourselves in being.
  To stress that sam like all of us are more then just specs of dust filling a space on this earth. Checking off things on a to do list just to get by. We are the literal children of God.
Given the purpose to reach out and rescue his lost children.
And just like the counsel of the President of LDSBC said last night and echoing sam's testimony. I too will NEVER QUIT LIVING FOR GOD OR inviting people like sam to choir *hint hint sam*..lol until everyone will learn

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Lead From the Front

"Lead from the front not front from the back" was a simple counsel given by President Kaufusi when I attended SLC 2nd YSA Ward. Just nudging at the priesthood holders that they need to realize their potential, the power in which they've been entrusted to hold, in order to bless the lives of all man kind.. I bring it up today because of the opportunity I was given this morning. While in attendance of our Church worldwide training this story & video was shared. Check it out..

During the meeting I was trying really hard to fight back my tears for a couple of reasons. But one obvious reason is this guy,our earth angel King Tui.. Our youngest brother Tui who has the same condition as Dayton. Hit close to home and naturally would cause a tug to my heart.
I mentioned to one of my Mapu relatives that I don't feel that tears are a sign of weakness at all. But being called to relief society, dealing with family and on top of that being more active in our choir-Divine Heritage Choir.
My life seems to consist of days spent meeting,meeting and mo'meetings. But with that comes a whole lot of crying. Good crying & the crying of refinement. So you can understand or at least see why I would attempt to fight back the tears this morning when watching this story.
Well just to report what you already know. I totally failed and I kinda blame our presidency lol Cuz it was "Waterfalls of tears" any and everywhere you turned.
Poor Brother Birrell our counselor in the Bishopric was sitting by me & I could only imagine what he was thinking.lol

Anyway this isn't a blog about tears and crying. When should we cry and etc etc on that subject matter. But this is about what I learned from the meeting & "Dayton's Story".
Which is that God loves us.. Did you know that? Do you know that? He loves us and so through other people he answers our prayers. Spencer was an answer to Dayton's parents prayers. Of providing a friend that went beyond the call of duty & friendship to express genuine love for their son. Children are the answer to unoffered prayers by parents that have lost faith in Christ. Motivating them to get reactivated into finding their place in God's plan. And you are an answer to someones pleaing prayer for love. Or a unprayed prayer of providing love to those who didn't even realize they yearned for something so necessary.

So my point is this take the time to rescue someone rather than seeking to be rescue. In doing so you forget yourself & that service you render ends up returning just what you need. Even & especially when you thought you weren't needing anything. Who's the "Dayton" in your life that you could be serving? And if your "Dayton" are you allowing people the opportunity to serve you. If not, why not? If so, great job!

We all have disabilities of some sort. Phyical,Emotional,Mental and especially Spiritual. But it's my firm knowledge of God that gives me the belief that he can turn our & your disabilities, into capabilities, if you offer your humility by showing your avaliablity with him
everything becomes a possibility fullfilled. Let him into your heart to move your feet :)

Friday, February 10, 2012

It's Not You, It's Me :) lol

If it seems like I'm blogging alot, it's because I am..lol So grateful for my sis Teuila & husband Aisea for leaving their computer on while in Vegas. I abused my computer time towards the end of last year. Hence was the reason of my limited post. But like a fat kid who loves choc cookies of 3 dozen.. I can't help but feed you all my thoughts.. So enjoy yourselves :)

I wanna say a month ago over facebook  I was added to this group. Friends from Provo out to help singles to mingle in hopes to get people dating. Introducing klub143 click on the link if you wanna add yourselves. Or know of people that want to be added or could benefit from being added. Like I've mentioned before.
 I do my best to constantly keep on the ball of self-improvement. So since I've tried the singles ward, family wards, hookups through friends, a short-term of online dating aka stalking lol.. I've resolved to the fact that finding my "soul mate" or my "eternal companion" isn't in the cards for me.
At least not right now & I can't say I'm "Superdupa Take me to Disney World I wanna meet prince charming kind of happy." Not at all but I'm ok with my singleness.

And through klub 143 I've been able to come across this link.
http://itsyourtechnique.com/ and had to laugh at the title
"It's not you it's your technique" because I totally know that I've been prone to get in my own way. When it's come to dating.. I either give to much, give to much to the wrong guy or just am closed off to the ones that are totally dateable. But in my heart I push them off because I just don't feel that
"spark" or "chemistry" anyway point is I'm grateful to be single. But am hopeful to graduate from this phaze soon.
And in the meantime from clubs & links like the above mention, I welcome the continual preparation stage. Til my man decides to show up. When he arrives I will be ready :) and that's such an empowering sense of change from my usual "Where the heo is this guy, he's gonna get it."lol Yeah I'm samoan but at least not as crazy as before.. :) hmmm food for thought. HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER SEEK IT, RETAIN & SHARE IT!

Sisterly Luv

So I'm going to sound like a broken record to most of you. Especially if you keep up with my blogs. But hey your just gonna have to deal with it. Or hit next blog if you get bored.lol And no this isn't about "Angry Birdie Bird" *scene three.. At 3:23 am in the morning. Even for me that's too early to be angry.. Nope today is my sister Teuila Tinatasi Afo Vainuku's birthday. And I just wanted to blog about how special she is to me.. As most of you know she's my only full-blooded baby sister. To most people she is known as a opinionated, strong willed, I will tell you where to stuff it! If you mess with people I love type of sister.

But the side I love about teuila that most people if they take offense to her opinions or approach, don't like to focus on is that she is the most loyal, loving, protective, serviced willed sister,daughter,wife and amazing mother you will ever meet. She may have a hot head that triggers her fast tongue to defend. But the thing about teuila is that all of her battles with people are motivated because she loves big. The only difference between her & I is that I hide my anger..lol in other words I'm passive aggressive & she's not.. Anyway point is even on the days that we aren't getting along. I know that I'm only as strong as I am today because of the strength teuila is to me & our family. So on her special day I dedicate this blog as a birthday post for my baby sister. Happy Birthday!

Mushy much? For sure I know no better way :) This was a song we lipsync as kids.. ooooh gloria :) st george dayz :)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Angry Birdie (Scene Two)

Argggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Yes that's how I feel.. Like when for no apparent reason a person would stand up in the middle of a room & just start to scream.. That's my reason for my emotional outbursting arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh.. A for Anger...
I don't know how to control my anger. I hate to put it on anyone but me. Because through the years of talking to friends, listening to different talk shows and cousel given by church leaders. I know that I have anger issues and we usually credit the behavior from my dad's behavior. Of holding things in & then snapping at the last second or my moms impatience & having to have things her way at the very second that she wants whatever it is that she's after at the time. And though that has somewhat to do with my own anger issues. Plus the fact that I'm a girl & on a monthly the "special friend" visits me like clock work to kill my emotions.

I know that my anger issues are my own fault. Because once I'm ticked about something because someone doesn't do what I want. The big ugly beast reveals it'sself & I've lost it. And lately it's been more and more evident. Which sucks because one I've just gotten called to be 1st Counselor of the Relief Society and two I'm allowing a vicious cycle live & breathe in me like spreading cancer. And I HATE IT! Because I know who my best self is & it's a constant battle to get her to surface. Especially at home. With all the praying that I do. You'd think I'd have this illness mastered by now. But I don't.. And so like I mentioned a few postings ago. About 2012 being the "I'm doing" year not "I want to do" year.
I am going to enroll in an anger management class.. Because to complain about it and not do something is a waste. And I know for damn sure I don't want my kids to inherit this from me.. Behavior doesn't just happen it's learned. And kids mimic everything we do & if we just laugh it off as nothing. Then their going to think it's nothing & grow up to be worse than us. Because we weren't better examples.. Oh how the Lord loves to humble me.. Anyway after fighting my mom off about it for months now. The decision is made.. It's a time for a change.. Whew angry birdie has lifted & is departing as we blog our lives away :) Thanks guys love ya thanks for reading..

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Angry Birds

I can't believe that its february and that my life
lessons are a non-stop since the years begun.
My blog title for this post has nothing to do with
The actual facebook game. As it has to do with
Everything I've been feel about everything that's going
On with me.. But before I go off on a venting spree. I
Have to say I have the best family in the whole world. And
We're totally psychotic at times. But at the end of the day
I love them. My mom becuz she forgives me constantly, my
Dad becuz as old as I am :) which isn't that old lol my
Conversations with him always leaves me feeling protected.
Even if he lives in Vegas. I love my baby sis teuila
For her example of being a hardworker. My brothers tui,
Roy and rocky for being spoiled lol.. nah king tui
For choosing our family. His beautiful smiles.. Roy
Because no matter what was, what is, what could be. With
No doubt I know he loves us and becuz of that fact i love him.
And rocky he'll always be my Baby, esp when he
Uses that privilege. I love him for who he is :)
With all that emotion this angry bird is signing out.
Blog lesson for tonight-count your blessings not your what ifs
or unfortunate mishaps. Stay in control :)