Thursday, February 9, 2012

Angry Birdie (Scene Two)

Argggggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Yes that's how I feel.. Like when for no apparent reason a person would stand up in the middle of a room & just start to scream.. That's my reason for my emotional outbursting arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggh.. A for Anger...
I don't know how to control my anger. I hate to put it on anyone but me. Because through the years of talking to friends, listening to different talk shows and cousel given by church leaders. I know that I have anger issues and we usually credit the behavior from my dad's behavior. Of holding things in & then snapping at the last second or my moms impatience & having to have things her way at the very second that she wants whatever it is that she's after at the time. And though that has somewhat to do with my own anger issues. Plus the fact that I'm a girl & on a monthly the "special friend" visits me like clock work to kill my emotions.

I know that my anger issues are my own fault. Because once I'm ticked about something because someone doesn't do what I want. The big ugly beast reveals it'sself & I've lost it. And lately it's been more and more evident. Which sucks because one I've just gotten called to be 1st Counselor of the Relief Society and two I'm allowing a vicious cycle live & breathe in me like spreading cancer. And I HATE IT! Because I know who my best self is & it's a constant battle to get her to surface. Especially at home. With all the praying that I do. You'd think I'd have this illness mastered by now. But I don't.. And so like I mentioned a few postings ago. About 2012 being the "I'm doing" year not "I want to do" year.
I am going to enroll in an anger management class.. Because to complain about it and not do something is a waste. And I know for damn sure I don't want my kids to inherit this from me.. Behavior doesn't just happen it's learned. And kids mimic everything we do & if we just laugh it off as nothing. Then their going to think it's nothing & grow up to be worse than us. Because we weren't better examples.. Oh how the Lord loves to humble me.. Anyway after fighting my mom off about it for months now. The decision is made.. It's a time for a change.. Whew angry birdie has lifted & is departing as we blog our lives away :) Thanks guys love ya thanks for reading..

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.