Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Love Undefined

When I crush I've been known to crush hard which than turns into love for the opposite sex. So you can say I've been in love a couple trillion times. And I'm not ashamed about it, at all because each male, has taught me tremendous lessons. Have I acted a fool in each situation? (Yes) Have I come off desperate in those situations? (Absolutely!Yes!) Have I ever cause them bodily harm, due to a severed or eventually broken heart? (OOOOOOh, Heck yes) lol in my mind that is :) I ain't no Madea wanting to go to jail now mind you.
But in all honesty, in my waiting to exhale moments, I've envisioned a little violence in my heartaching dayz.
And then coming to my senses I've remembered, I got too much living to do to dare go that route. But that's the point at the end of the day. Loving someone comes with alot of joy, mindframe that nothing is impossible and hope for a lasting relationship LIVING happily ever after.
However the opposite of that is what kills a person. Whether their single for dayz a.k.a years on end, Married and not fullfilled or divorced without hope to start over again. Love truly can make you do crazy things and leave you blind. But here's the upside in whatever phaze you are in now or will be experiencing in the near future. Love is a beautiful thing,emotion and action.

So those "crushes" I mentioned earlier for me I'm not only grateful that they happened. But I'm even more grateful that they had a short life span. Giving me the opportunity to work harder at being prepared for my long lost, hopelessly wandering future husband. Why am I always pounding on this subject? Well it's because this is what is priority in my life right now. But on the flipside I know I have to stay on track with the Lord. Keep with his time frame stop begging, giving up or allowing envy get into my system.
Which is pretty hard when it seems like everyone from their mama to their dawg is getting hitched. What I'm learning today is being single doesn't mean that I'm not desirable.
Being single should never be an excuse to let people use me mentally,emotionally and especially physically. Loneliness can do that to the best of any of us. But we should never surcumb to it. Being single to me today means I need to get other things in my life in order. So when true love does arrive I'm ready.

So since I haven't had a crush on anyone for awhile it's been nice to just be chill about the subject and share with you how I've grown. Which means I've decided not to box my love away into some confined compartment. Truly emoting the best whether or not I receive the best. Because I refuse to allow my circumstances of being single taint my love. I am aimed to keep it undefined by all means without living by anyones standard of what they think "love" should mean to me. I've allowed people to control that part of me for too long with judgements of;

  "For real "O" him? Nah you can do better
  "Hmmm not him, so and so likes him"
  "Maybe you shouldn't be so yada yada"

Just more reason for me to be grateful that I've taken the power back and I'm doing me. Love is so amazing! Let's not forget it!

Highlights for this weekend;
                 My best sisterfren Tatiana is coming in and we're gonna go eat at our other bestie's restaurant "Mama V's" and this awesome Pancake house off Foothill during this weekend. Pancake house has the best turkey sandwich plate, Sister leta's wedding on friday to kick off General Conference weekend for more info about Gconference go to, A funeral Saturday morning til late afternoon,then my best friend Angie Dibella  baby shower and then more time with the homies. But the best highlight of my weekend will be a missionary farewell, I'll be blogging about to follow this one..

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Liebster Who? lol

So this blog is gonna be a quick one for two reasons.. One I'm trying to transfer positive vibes to all you readers :) and two I need to log off to finish my relief society center pieces. I'm far from being a homemaker.. So this assignment needs to be done by tuesday for our RS Birthday but of course I love to wait down to the wire to finally get'em completed. Anyway Liebster isn't a meal choice off of a menu or a diease of sorts. But instead of going into "Ova's super detailed" definition's. I'll let leeks one of my blogging sistrens explain it to you. Who dubbed me the award & has passed the baton for me to award a few of my people. Which would be my pleasure! So take it away leeks and thank you for sharing :)

From my understanding, "liebster" is the German word for "darling" and is exactly what this award is for-- darling people in this bloggy blog world.
The Rules

1. Thank the person{s} who awarded you

2. Post these simple rules

3. Post a photo and eleven random, liebster things about yourself

4. Tag eleven other random, liebster bloggers

11 Random Liebster Facts About Me

1. I can't deal with people that attention seek or try to play victim because their having a pity party. Drives me nuts.. If I detect it's not genuine pain, I have zero charity.. So mean huh?
2. I love trying new things all the time esp if I know it'll make me a better person.
3. Though I've sang with our Divine Heritage Choir for 11 yrs off and on. I shy away from doing solos all the time. (As our belated sister kaui sika would say, Ova no ack just belt it out already, mariah I'm not even close.. lol But you'd have to meet kaui to witness her funny ways..
4.I'm a sappy romantic fool and love the whole nine yards. Being treated like a princess,chick fliccks, cute old couples that show public affection. *meaning holding hands*lol
5. I fall in love with people who possess drive & passion for their goals & dreams. I am quick to be their cheerleader to see them accomplish whatever their after.
6. I miss my decease brother tuau afo everyday & when my baby brother tui is singing or laughing like a mad man I always feel that tuau is near.
7. I met Boyz II Men & made them throw up our worker's croo sign up lol
The cool guy to your far left :) goes "Hmmm we ain't gonna get shot are we? this isn't a gang sign?lol
Who says stuff like that anyway..
Must be all the red I'm
8. I love to go karaoke esp at karaoke cafe here in slc.
9.I just joined 24 hr fitness and I'm on top of the WOOORRLD..
10. I'm gonna write a book.. undecided of the subject though.
11. I'm addicted to the clean episodes of "New Girl" that cast is amazing..
Eleven Random Liebster Bloggers I'm tagging:
5.Jared Fano
6.Ashley Manumaleuna
7.Bernadine Levao
8.Caroline Ulugia
9.Mahe Clan
10.Manda's Promises
11.Losa Mapu

And honestly, just anyone who is reading this now and would like to participate, lol.
I would love to read and learn more about you :)
Have a happy, liebster weekend!

Monday, March 19, 2012

A Walk Down Memory Lane

This weekend was super busy but rewarding to say the least. Between family responsibilities, Relief Society and being apart of our Divine Heritage Choir life has been a great blessing.
Sill working out some kinks here and there but after last night, I've been able to gain a great perspective on human relationships & what I'm blessed with daily. Which is the reality that my life doesn't suck and things truly happen for good reasons.

He's waiting for you!
This past weekend was our DH Choir 2nd annual bootcamp. The purpose of why we started this was to strengthen our choir members & to build unity. The below flicc is of our 1st one last year.
2011 DH Bootcamp @ SLC 2nd YSA Ward
(Welcoming Night)

And these next flicks was 2012's turn out for our first
day bootcamp.

Was it discouraging because of the lack of numbers this year?
Honestly for me it wasn't discouraging at all. And the only reason was because we did our best, with who we had to work with & did our part to remain faithful that things would turn out.
And things did turn out because whether with 24 prior dh members in 2011 or 10 dh members this year. The people at the above center still felt the same spirit because we served with all our hearts.
So though we were few in capcity of choir members it was evident the Lord's purposes were fullfilled.

Then Sunday was topped off with our fireside "Perfect love Casteth out Fear." We pushed for this fireside because we've come to realize just how short life is & didn't want to miss the opportunity to serve our sister & former president Lisa Alaiasa.
This is a flicc of some of our old members visiting her about 2 wks ago. Lisa is whom I mentioned that her cancer has return & their saying they don't know how much time she has left.
Our fireside began in Murray,Utah with Niua  presiding/into our meeting, as our prelude we sang Sweet Forgiveness, Sita gave our opening prayer to set the night off with the right spirit. I am a child of God (DH style), Edna conducted and bore her testimony along the way. And the entire program was enriched by saints singing from their hearts. Old members that started this legacy, current members that fight to keep it alive and a mix of choir members sitting in the audience supporting our efforts.Solo's by Kelly Tufuga,Isaac Manutai,Kalani Hafoka,Lisa Alaiasa, Nora Aiono,Sina Aiono Ika,Doraleen and pianist Kawehi Sika.  Testimonies bore by Honoree Tauaalo, myself,Kalani Hafoka,Doraleen Levao (soon to be Taulanga)
Edna Aiono & Lisa Alaiasa closed by Emma Taufui in prayer.
Lisa being our main reason of bring together old and current members for a night. To express how much love we have for her. And the trial byway of this illness that she has to endure. Made for a humbling experience and reality that we need to support one another. Not only when death is at our doorstep but long before that when days are good.
 I love these choir members with all my heart.
And can't say enough about how they've help me in my life.
Especially to overcome my weaknesses & strengthening my talents into tools that I have used to become a stronger person.

Like our sister dauna bates said our last time together before she left
on her mission; "Once a Divine Heritage Member always a Divine Heritage Member." My prayer that these choir members realize not only was it not just about the music. But that we were brought together to support each other through life. So those who would fall off along the way would be reminded that There is forgiveness through repentance. And if anything, through this time we have with Lisa, that we didn't have with Bertha Samoa, Kaui Sika and Blu Tipeni. I would hope our members would start forgiving each other more full-heartedly and quickly. Because again saying sorry at anyones casket 
once their dead seems to have less affect to me. Than saying sorry while we still have the chance in this life. Hopefully this walk down memory lane will teach all of us that greater lesson.

Love my DH Aiga!


Saturday, March 10, 2012

Just Be

It's been a good day and tomorrow's going to be even better. As you all may remember me talking about my brother Tuau passing away back in 2008. Today was his 4year anniversary since he's left us. And while I was attending our sister Carol's dad's funeral today. I couldn't help but think about him & take into account all the testimonies that were being born earlier. Remembering how far we've come without him & how much he is always missed.
 Also reminding me of what my sister carol mentioned,how when a parent passes away, there isn't any preparation that could prepare one for that pain. And I thought about my parents & about how much I love them. But how I need to improve in communicating that in my actions & the way I live my life. At the burial the day was beautifully calm, bright sunrays and just a touch of spring in the air. It felt good to have warmth all around us.

I was able to spend time with one of my favorite sisters Mz. Tirae, Tirae's husband Matt,Sela Tavia,Penny,Carol and our homie Nuku after the funeral. Tirae is one of my sisters that knows me inside out. And one that I can be around and just let everything out & get my mind right. Especially when I need it the most. And today was one of those days. I am so grateful that through people like her I can redirect how I do things. And become my best in all that I'm after. Especially with leading a life with more pure intent & to just stop overthinking everything. Today my best advice from her was to "Just Be."

Just Be-Happy, Just Be-Patient, Just Be-Open... There was much more but if I list it all. You all might think I'm crazier than you already I am grateful for this day and the opportunity to remember my decease love ones & to live more to appreciate the love ones that are still alive. I am grateful

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I'm Dying

We all are, aren't we? We are conceived, taught how to become adults then live our lives the best way we know how. Knowing that one day we are going to die. So when I say I'm dying, I mean it. I Am dying.. As of yet, I don't have a chronic disease, I'm not suffering from physical or mental disabilities. At least not ones I know of :) But I am dying, we all are and it's just how life goes.

Since I've been called to the Relief Society Presidency it's felt like I've entered a whole new world. More like the grown up world. Visiting with different sisters & seeing,listening & witnessing their life stories. Then comparing them to my own life experiences & my peers. Alot of deaths & people about to die has been my biggest duty lately. One day it scares me to have to work so closely to people going through this type of ordeal. And the next day I have the faith of mighty men/women who've endured death. And I'm right back at it again no longer afraid of the unknown. Facing the fact that death is not an ending but a new beginning. A beginning that I'm not completely aware of but all and all it is a new start.

This past weekend a cousin of mine was in the hospital & I got to visit with her. Finding out that another one of our cousins, who was a former President of our Divine Heritage Choir. Her cancer has returned full blown & we don't know how much longer we have with her. And that day in finding out this news. I just felt spent,tired and selfishly worn out. We just lost Tualii Enosa someone I barely knew to breast cancer. And now someone that I've loved since I started singing with the Choir. To hear this news just felt a bit much for me,this past weekend. So instead of going over to comfort her with all of our old choir members. I opted to stay back, to uplift another sister that will be leaving in June. And so when I got back home & reflected on my choice of not going. I didn't regret it but I did discover a couple of things to take serious note on for future reference.

One when in the service of God, don't get weary of doing good.Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.
D&C 64:33

And secondly no matter how many times in one year or a few months or days we are called to mourn. Remembering it's not about us but it's about being there for other people.
Comforting them rather than seeking to save myself from the blessing it is to mourn with others.  Especially because there'll come a time, when we will need that service in return. That was a big wake up call for me. This Friday we will be especially remembering our brother Tuau of course.
And wishing as always that he was still physically alive & well with us. But with all these recent deaths & possible deaths. We are and will continue to survive. Because though we are all dying & don't know when we will leave this earth. The joyous reality is that we will be reunited after this life. So we need to make the most of the time we have now with those we hold dearest to our hearts.

I was asked "If you only had til this summer to live what would you do?" And my answser was I would want to contact every person I've ever hurt or offended in anyway and say I'm sorry & ask for their forgiveness. Whether it was my fault or not. Because when I'm before my maker it won't matter who's fault it was, all that would matter is that I was forgiven or gave the forgiveness that was needed.

Then my second "To Do" on the list would be to not be afraid to say my "I love you's" to the people that I do love. Because whether it's vocally,through actions, over the phone,email etc. I want the people in my life to know that I do love them. Now they may get on my last nerve & I might not always agree with their life choices. But I'm not God & it's not my place to say anything (unless they ask lol).. However I want people to know that I love them. Because everyone needs to know that on a constant.

I could've said I want to be married, travel the world or be rich. But I feel those two things on my list are more important then anything else. Everything else if it were meant to be and I only had til summer to live. If it were meant to be it would happen. Otherwise maybe in the next life. Either way I'm dying but in Christ I'm ALIVE!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Complain So'o

Have you ever had one of them days or weeks when you feel all that you've done is complain, complain, complain? Even if you didn't do it out loud? Well in thinking about this topic and whether or not I would post it. I looked over some of my last post & this week's past events. And I could detect at least once in each instant, that I was on that complaining kick. Complain so'o means; complain too much in samoan.
And to get off that trip, I wanted to re-blog about what I'm grateful for & why.

Yesterday I got to spend some time with my sister Edna Aiono. We're in the same choir so it's very easy for us to complain about everything. When we get frustrated with friends, choir members & family. But yesterday rather than focusing, so much on that aspect of our lives. The sources that can cause one to complain. We were able to recount our blessings & look on the happier side of things.. For instance the fact that we were and still are being raised by expectionally strong mothers, blessing of seeing people converted & reconverted to the gospel & living more cautious of what makes us happy. Rather than trying to please everyone else & ending up on an emotional breakdown by the end of our trials. And we all know women hate to be on that ride, especially when things have to get done. So our conversation reminded me of this movie I finally got to see.

Good deeds & though for me it dragged here and there. The cast was awesome and the story line hit home. Reminding me that even when I get into the rut of "Complaining So'o" the only way out of being self-centered about our problems is to serve. But not service rendered to get praise,reward or recognition. No! but to serve because it's the right thing to do & that it comes second nature to a person. My favorite line in the movie is when Tyler Perry's character Wes Deeds  doesn't recognize all the good he does for others. And the leading lady says to him "You need to go and find what makes you happy, BECAUSE YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART."
That part of having a good heart hit me. Because in the middle of all the moving & shaking we all do in our own individual lives. When people hit our nerves or test our patience. I don't believe we ever take a minute to recognize, how good of heart we have. Or in other words that you have! I know without the people in my life, my heart wouldn't be has good, if they weren't in it. So here's to you! For all that you do for me & the people in your individual lives. Thank you for your good deeds & not turning away the opportunity to serve. Especially when you've been called. Whether anyone has seen your efforts or not. And though it might not be as rewarding, especially when you need validation or a gesture of appreciation. Now and again. Thank you! It is my firm belief God sees all your Good Deeds. So keep on keeping on & don't allow yourself to Complain So'o..
Happy Good Deed Friday!