Friday, August 3, 2012

Growing Pains

So it's a very calming Friday evening thusfar & I've been working for a company by the name of Harland Clarke. That's Clark with an "E" at the end.lol as our trainer Heidi would continually remind us over & over this past week.
July 31st 2012 was my first day & today Aug 3,2012 was my last day of training. However this post isn't about my awesome job or the fact that this week has also been spent getting to know our Sua'paia Tui'pelehake side of the family. And tada you guessed it! It's the season of family reunions. Noting this side of the family is my mom's side, that has come together to meet one another.
But this isn't about that subject at all.
Anyway I wanted to go off of my blog post title today, to talk about how to overcome growing pains. Growing pains of not getting what you want, when you want it, however way you think you should have gotten it- My views on the matter of growing pains.

I had a recent episode of disrespecting someone that I love with all my heart. To a height level or degree that would be off the charts if measured. Concerning how disrespectful one could become to another in mere seconds.  And as "karma" would have it, if you'd like to call it that, I was returned the favor. By being disrespected by someone entirely separate from the first incident I've mentioned.. Being that my behavior as the offender & not the offended was worse, if the two situtations were to be compared. Either way neither event was enjoyable by any means..

In the first incident considering myself  a victim.. I felt trapped,rage, annonyance & a sense of total loss of words. Though my insults spit out like fire off of a fast & furious race car. I was in a sense of loss for words. I couldn't calmly express or communitcate in a well behaved manner what I really wanted to present. I allowed my emotions over-ride my intent to being an adult. I resulted to an emotional outburst that didn't benefit anyone. And in the heat of the moment I didn't care for the other person at all. Has that ever happened to you? No? Ok then shake your heads no then, you perfect angels..lol jp

Well in the second incident this other person blurted something out that for me, was more annonying then hurtful. But nonetheless still unnecessary & a tad bit hurtful. When I decided to replay it in my mind. Deciding in their mindframe was to guilt trip me with a backhanded comment to do what they wanted. The moment this incident transpired, it took me but 2 seconds to decide I'm not gonna react. At least not outwardly by physical harm or by verbal abuse. But it didn't mean, I didn't react inwardly, like I did with the first incident. Remember the whole passive aggressive ticks I get now & again.lol  But it did mean that I wish they had thought more before they spouted off their 2 cents. Because to be honest.. I did react.. And I did wish they had approached me better.

All in all what I'm trying to say is we all go through pain. We all fall short to the goals we dream up, the goals we fail on daily & the goals we progressively attempt to pass.
In other words expect that with everything we face here on earth is meant to have opposition. But it's how we react to that opposition that determines whether we'll have a solid future or a future stuck reliving the past. Growing pains are a part of like we can't get rid of them & we won't always understand the whys. Why did they do?act? or cause that to happen?
But with the right attitude, support system & solid goal sitters & finishers. God proves that we will overcome pains & this is for our experience to better educate our future children. Doesn't mean we will be perfect parents. Because there's no such thing as a perfect parent. But what we've learned from our parents, will be a foundation of success for our children. We are the master's of our destiny is what I'm coming to relearn by these two incidents previously mentioned. And even though I'm the most nutty person in a basket full of fruits.lol I'd have to say I wouldn't trade my growing pains for anyone elses. Because it wouldn't bring me to this point in my life. To who I am discovering I am deep down inside. So how do I currently overcome my growing pains? I redirect my negative attitude to a positive one. Think happy thoughts & if my rage has escalated pass that point. I specifically pray for the negative feelings to leave me. Doesn't instantly happen & sometimes it takes forever. Because as human nature I grow impatient. But I wait for God's healing & if that doesn't work. I stop thinking about what's hurting me. And I make it a real effort to turn to my besties. This is my blueprint to keeping sane in an insane environment. And when all falls apart. I continue to redo those steps until something sticks. And my growing pains turn into life lessons I can share with the very people I call my family. 



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