Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Singled Out

So this past vacation to Vegas was such a needed trip. I could breathe and relax

without too much worry about anything or anyone. And to evaluate where

my love life is currently. Omgeezzzy before all of my discovery updates on that

issue. Can I just say "Pitch Perfect" was one of my most recently found favorite

movies of all time. There are few crazy scenes but overall for my daily

laughter quota, that movie exceeded it, to last a few years. lol

A must see if you can handle the crazy scenes.

Anyway, back to the subject of my life.. "Young & the Loveless."lol

So I got to talking to one of my sisters in Vegas about all of my most

recent past crushes who've just got married, past crushes that have

returned & recent crushes that should just get

Nah but I was able to share how I use to perceive the words "patience" &

"waiting" as swear words when people would say things like;

"Ova you gotta be patient" or "Ova don't rush it's better to wait."

Now I understand that people that are married don't always

get that being "Singled Out" or perceived as being "Picky" isn't

easy. But what I tend to wonder is when their expressing their

snap opinions on our relationship status. Do they actually understand

that we don't enjoy being single as much as they don't enjoy not having

us on their level? So we can have our children grow up & play with each other?

I won't go into further comparison on the issue of how I feel versus what

married people feel about why we're still single. But I would ask all those

of you who are married or in a relationship that are currently reading this post.

To take the following in consideration before opening your mouths.

Rather than teasing your single friends & family members about their status.

Constantly overbaring us with comments like

"Have you tried"

instead of all those nonsense comments that cause us to feel desparate.

I would suggest you asking "Hey what can I do to help you find someone

suitable for your taste." or "You know what (insert name) I will make sure to

add your name to my personal & family prayers so you can endure the wait

on your future spouse." Comments that uplift would be more effective than the

usual old jokes that do nothing for a single person. Do I sound overly sensitive

about the matter? Maybe... But the point I'm trying to make is that you never

know what another person's battle is & when you don't speak from a place of

love than no one progresses. Whether its to someone who's been single forever,

someone who's been recently divorced, cheated on or married for 45 yrs plus.

We never know how our words & behavior will be received by the other person.

In discussing this topic with my sister in Vegas we've come to a conclusion we're

ready for the next step. But in the meanwhile we'll be happy in our singleness

& do things that truly helps us to grow & serve. Two months left in 2012 and what

better way to end it out other than to be grateful over depressed on this matter?

Overland Afo the one who got away from being loveless & knowing she is loved.

Guilt Kills

We all have instances in our lives that causes us to act out and display moments of weak behavior. Or in other words, actions that portray our less than best selves. For example getting cut off city streets while driving & reacting with road rage.
Getting offended by anyone's attitude & replying with a snap comment. And the most common reaction "The silent Treatment," when feelings become hurt. There are countless ways of acting out in poor behavior. And if your a really talented person, lol.
You can actually act out in multiple emotional outbreaks
at once. Not that I'm speaking from personal experience
at  I've learned that there are two types of sorrow that can
either help you let go of guilt or cause you to hold onto
that emotion until your old and gray.
The first is feeling guilt of a "damned soul," meaning your
only motivation to change your behavior is because you
got caught. Like when kids get caught for being rude
to another kid & only says sorry because they didn't
know you were watching the entire time. They feel guilt
for getting caught in the act of their poor behavior but
they don't feel guilt for what they did.

Whereas for guilt felt by "Godly sorrow," means the very
same kid that got caught in being rude in the previous
story changes his whole heart. He recognizes you caught
him, he apologizes to prove that he will do better
and he vows to himself & God he won't repeat his poor
behavior. In an ideal world we would all follow the "Godly
sorrow" senerio way more than the "damned soul" one.

But we're human & 99.9% of the time can & have been
know to be selfish. Until we hit rock bottom & are
reminded all could've been avoided if we conducted
ourselves better as children of God. But my point today
is to say we all have control of how we will be affected
by guilt. And speaking on a spiritual sense & to those
who are wondering whether their worthy for the mercy
of God. I'd like to declare LOUDLY! YOU ARE WORTHY
BECAUSE YOU ARE HIS CHILD. It's simple as that & if
you really want to feel his love. Then looking to the people
that will build you up & not allow you to live with anymore
excuses of why you've stayed away for so long.

Your sister,brother,parent and not even your spouse can
force you to come back to God & be healed by the atonement
of God. The only person that can save you is CHRIST & he
can only save you if you bring yourself to his mercy through
prayer & local church leaders. That's the process & his
atonement is here for you. Don't let the wrong guilt kill you!
Don't let the wrong people guide you!

Family Time

Just got back into Salt Lake City, Utah this morning at 4 am & was so grateful, I had the opportunity to be in Las Vegas, Nevada this past weekend.

My grandmother Aimiti Mapuolesega Afo just turned 91 yrs old.
I arrived in Las Vegas, Nevada last Friday morning around 3am.
While entering city limits I had this empty feeling come over me. I was excited to be able to reunite with all my cousins, uncles and aunties. But the empty feeling came over me because its been forever since I've been Vegas.
 However the reality that our brother Tuau wouldn't be here to celebrate with us makes every family gathering bittersweet. And I can't help but mention him through every
family event we are apart of & this trip was harder than prior ones. It's been 4 years, 7months & 24 days since he's returned to Heavenly Father. And I understand it's not health to keep such an accurate account of how long he's been gone. But no one can understand how much he meant to us while he was here & how much more he means to us now that he's progress to a different level, unless they could've met him in person. He is greatly missed & so that was pretty rough coming into this trip.

So after I was dropped off by Divine Heritage Choir as they were headed to Victorville, California for our musical fireside. Which was a huge blessing for me in getting to grandma's birthday. I worried about the choir & especially for our President Edna Aiono. Just because we haven't taken a lot of trips this year &
I knew that satan would be strong because in the mist of doing the greatest good the greatest opposition arrives. And after drafting up a list of choir rules & not being able to present those rules. I knew for sure this trip would truly

test not only Edna to the limits of toleration. But everyone who was about to attend. So as much as I worried and was tempted to try to make grandma's birthday & then rush over to California for the fireside. I got this overall confirmation that this trip was only about my family. Not to say that I don't love the choir as my family. But Heavenly Father was telling me to trust him,

let go & let other's use their agency as well as their own minds to act when he prompts them. So the control freak that I am :) I did just that & I let go & let God. After touching base with Edna while she was up in Cali, Dawn & on our way with a few other choir members opposition sure did arise. But through the power of God
the people of Victorville, California was able to be served & uplifted.

During our entire trip our sister Sala Afo was our driver,
we got to spend time with Tuau's daughter Kalee, eat sushi,panikeke,poly food churches chicken, denny nights, winchelles yummy donuts, followed by a sleepover
at our old choir president Gina Manumaleuna's home, listen to stories from my uncles & aunties about how they grew up, why they loved grandma aimiti, met our half sister danette for the first time & overall just laughed,cried & encouraged one another to live out the legacy & heritage that we've gained. I was so
humbled by being surrounded by such spiritual giants, filled with rich culture and big hearts. Also to remember our little sister Cassie Afo Key getting sealed in the Las Vegas, Temple for all time an eternity was icing on the cake.

And of course the main highlight of the this trip,
was witnessing this 91 year old woman we call grandma
aimiti feel so proud of her family. Watching her smile ear to ear of her childrens accomplishments & the humility that shone through her whole spirit. And second to none a woman, that could and can hold her own over the dance floor. She is one of kind and I'm proud that her blood runs through my veins, that one day I can live up to her example. Countless lessons in the span of just a few days that I will be implementing into every part of my soul. I love my family...

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Trust In The Lord

The last blog I posted about our sister Lisa Alaiasa on that day I had believed I would hear that she passed away.. Especially since she'd been in so much pain that prior Sunday visit. 
But our timing is never the Lord's timing & as I was about to begin my Tues. morning break at work. And as routine about to log onto facebook. My sister Tiana Skipps intercepted my log on & then proceeded to inform me that Lisa passed away. Tuesday Sept 18,2012 Lisa completed her battle of fighting against cancer. And was finally permitted to leave this life to meet our Heavenly Father & find rest in the next life.
The way was filled with emotions, motivation to be better & do better as Oprah would say. I was reunited with old choir members & just felt a sense of belonging & love. There were moments when I was uncertain if certain individuals would care to even talk to me or be around me. But because we were brought together out of the love we held & continue to hold for Lisa. Any feelings of uneasiness was quickly left behind me.
We started Sept 27th which was a Thursday off with a Night of Musical Celebration. Different family & friends bore testimony through music & the spoken word. Nieces & brother-in-laws performed dance numbers & refreshments were served in between all of these proceedings. And all any one could feel was joy for Lisa. Though we missed her the whole program through & she looked so beautiful in her casket. I then ended the evening catching up with my sister Tirae & always getting a night of needed laughter from her & I talking stories about our hopes & dreams.
Next morning in true Tirae We were late for the family services :) which didn't bother me like it would usually. Because I've come to understand more fully everything happens for a reason. My getting upset or impatient over things, I can't control doesn't make anything better. And it for sure doesn't speed things up. So we got to the chapel & the testimonies were done. Everyone was eating & listening to Lisa's favorite song. "I Smile" by Kirk Franklin & though we were there for a funeral. The feeling  of peace from the night before. Carried into the day that was before us. Which was witnessing Lisa's burial.
After the delicious brunch we gathered into the chapel. More testimonies & as a choir we sang "Footsteps" Kelly Tufuga, Doraleen Levao & Edna Aiono solo. It was a high point of the program because as they sang, one by one our choir members stood up in honor of our sister Lisa. And then her family joined us in the last chorus. And it was such a moving moment because it proved how much her family loves & respects us as a whole.
The program ended & we continued onto the burial site which was in bountiful, utah. Where another one of our sisters Bertha Samoa was buried in 2007. We had a dedicatorial prayer, closing prayer & as friends & family we sang the following. And though we still long for Lisa to be here. We knew & still know she's happy & free from the physical pains that was killing her here on earth.
Saturday Sept 29,2012 we had one more night of Musical Celebration for Lisa & that was a benefit concert in her honor. It was held in magna, utah at Cyprus high. More family & friends came to support & like the sweetest ending to an emotional week. We said farewell to our sister lisa & vow to continue to live by her example.
A true disciple & child of God. We are that much better as a choir & individuals for the footprints she has now left over our lives & hearts.