Wednesday, January 30, 2013

I Believe

Up until today I've been starving. Not able to taste flavor in the meals I eat. Unsatisfied by the relationships I've been in with my Lord, my family and friends. As a daughter, sister, Aunty, sisterfren, return missionary, member missionary, member of the church unsatisfied with even being human being. Dramatic? Maybe?! On top of that not being able to sleep right & nightmares that come & go. Depressed? I don't think so. Tired? You bet'cha. And finally realizing all I needed was to do some winter cleaning. Communing more intently with God. In losing myself like Shela off of "Diary of a Madd Black Woman" I'm finding myself. Through God im walking & listening.more now than ever before & im so happy. Because no longer do i place him as a hobbie or option but being w/ him is my priority.
Funny story for instance and i hope ties in w/ what im trying to say.
Everyone knows im a saimein noodles snob and it's been over 20 yrs since I've ate saimein from a pkg & not out of a cup noodle cup. And yet today while feeding tui lunch I decided to take a bite of his saimein soup.
One because I wanted to see if I was making a big fuss out of nothing all of these years. And two I wanted to dare myself to face my vices head on even if it was just about my food preferences. Well I was pleasantly surprised that one it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be in the end. And two that I can tolerate the flavor, my taste buds are back but I'm still a
diehard cup a noddle girl. Which brings up the point in finding more of my newer self that its ok if I change. Whether it be about food, my conduct or what I'm chasing after because what matters most is that I'm happy.And that in itself is liberating as I find the balance to help others to reach a similar type of joy. I'm reading a book called "This I believe " by a variety of different extraordinary people which I will share more of in my next post. I believe you'll gain a lot from it & so til then keep rediscovering you & don't give up. The Elusive Yet Holy Core by Kathy Dahlen

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