Thursday, January 3, 2013

Ten Years

I was sitting back yesterday & just thinking about my life. This July will mark 10 years since I've returned from serving in L.A. California as representative of Christ for my Lds religion and thinking about that yesterday, while watching King Tui I thought about what a blessing he is and all we've gained because of him. He's our ill brother that my mother, siblings and I have cared for over 20 yrs come this upcoming November 2013. When he turns 21yrs old. So as I was sitting back in my life's reflection. I was placed in two separate type of spheres. One that in ten years I will be 44 yrs old & some where in that space of time I hope to be married w/kids. And usually when I think of my future family fear isn't ever a feeling that's attached w/that vision. But yesterday in my mind & heart I grew afraid. Fear of the process of procreation, the fear of experiencing the reality that I will be responsible for giving my all to my eternal companion & children 24-7 and in that moment I realized how blessed I am. That even though I have to wait on my husband & kids. God is mindful of me & that this segment of my life is to be dedicated & focused on caring for tui. And its no wonder why tui always yawns & ignores me when I tell him about who I'm crushing on & if I can marry so and so. Lol typical brothers for you. I know even if tui weren't here and I was still single, I know the blessing is in the wait. So when we do receive what we beg God for, I know we appreciate it 100 times more because we had to wait. And if ten years from now if I'm still single I will still hold onto this knowledge because I know God is for me & wont forget me. I just can't allow my trials to let me forget him no matter the circumstances of life brings me. Living in a sphere of gratitude. :) and no longer overcome by my fears of what
my future family has in store for me.

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