Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Sooo Gone

If I could just cut my head open & pour out all of the experiences that have happened in the last 2 months it would totally help me out big time. So get ready for a huge novel of a post.. So Sept 1,2016 marked my 38th birthday and a few blessings about this age has been. 

1) I find myself speaking my mind more openly
2) I do my best to make sure I'm taken care of emotionally,spiritually and physically vs. how I use to be in trying to inspire others to improve in those areas.
3) I've began to understand not getting what  I want isn't all so bad. Just as long as I continue to live a life of gratitude.

Because I've fought and continue to live in gratitude it's humbled me tremendously. I'm learning that we as a people are all weak. Weak spirited, weak willed and weak minded but thank God that there is a God. I have spent this year truly tryna allow God to refine me in every way possible. I've had my heart get torn out of my chest for what it seems to have felt like several times a month, every month for the last 12 months. 

But this isn't a post to complain about how bad I've had it. It's  not even about how judged, talked about or criticized I've been by those who barely know me. Up to the people who supposedly love me with all their heart. This post is about how I've been able to  survive this 2016 year thus far & how I'm planning to move forward with a stronger spirit, will and mind guided by my heart but forever protected by my mind. 

And so the first "Go to" that has helped me climb out of my own discouragement this year has been my constant conversation with God through the power of prayer. It's crying to him when people are unfair, it's angrily expressing my frustration and on the upbeat days I praise him either through constant prayer or singing one of our "Divine Heritage Choir" songs. Usually in the privacy of my own home & company. And if that didn't work on a particular rough day or experience. I would just focus on redirecting my being on either my favorite relatives that have passed away or I just spend time with my favorite people whom are still with us here on earth. 

Other things that have kept me on top of all the quick sands that trials would try to swallow one into daily has been community service that's replaced my being active in our "Divine Heritage Choir" activity. Getting certified at being a certified sexual assault advocate, founder of my Tasi O Le Alofa support group, dancing with my Malialoles straight outta Glendale, supporting my Sugarhouse 801's  during their concerts/open mics, speaking at Community day events, University of Utah and next month Utah Valley University for a new Polynesian Empowerment Women's group by the name of "Teuila's Group." But even with being that busy w/o mention of trying to be active with my own family, LDS ward, work and so called "Me" time, opposition has a constant hand of always trying to creep into my life and anyone reading this msg. 

So before I go on rambling on & turn this post into nonsense venting. I hope you can gain a sense of turning to God for your daily support, rally for people who want to help you grow not just endure & that you can learn from my experiences to NEVER EVER EVER give up on yourself. This life is meant to test us but not break us. So if you fail. Fail big and try again & I promise you will get where you need to be & life will prove that when you move towards God he will place in your life all that you ever wanted. NEVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!!

Friday, August 5, 2016


If you've ever wrestled with the Lord on what you want & what he knows is best for you. Then you know it's a grueling battle & most often once you've humbled yourself. You know that he was right the entire time & you should've settled down about whatever you were having a power struggle about long time ago. If you haven't experienced that then you're either super lucky and smart. Or your as stubborn headed as I am. Either way you should listen to the following talk & see how you can increase the attribute of patience. Once mastered by your own effort & then applied over others. Especially if they hit your nerves more often than not :)

It's August and I can't get over all that's happened & will continue to happen. In this post I just want to express that patience matters & counts. And like it was mentioned in the above attached link. Impatience just means selfishness & an attitude of the world revolves around me. So my two cents about this subject is that if you find yourself always being impatient with others. Just know it's not worth being that annoyed no matter the issue. Life is too short to walk around being short with others.. Take it from me cuz I'm a recovering impatient person. HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!

Thursday, July 21, 2016

He's A Classic Man

Today my "Thankful Thursday" post is dedicated to Simi "Jimbo" Tuitama Hafoka just because I felt like bragging about him. He is a man of few words, unless he's at peace with you. Which then he allows people into his space. He is admired by all of us especially because of his faith, work ethic and being an exceptional musician. But what I love about  Jimbo the most is his "Quiet Dignified Kigatsuku" spirit that never seeks to be recognized for anything that he does. A true classic man in his own right that Im blessed to know and felt deserved a recognition shout out.



Rigorous but gentle

Encircled by his passion

Lost in his element

Found by his songs
Lyrical genius 
At the very strum of his guitar
Based on his rhythm 
Whether through Red Velvet
Or Green Destiny
He balances in the wind
Written between notes
Courting in everso slowly 
The anticipating audience 
Into a whole new world
Just to be found with his first love
Where he goes to most often
His home away from home
And where his heart
Feels most comfortable
In his music
Humility rules his soul
An all around artist 
Made whole
Jimbo is the epitome of music.

#Dedicated2 @jimboisyourdad & InspiredByJimbosMusicalTalent
Video credit our bro @ejaymulitalo

Aug 10,2016 after all of us going bowling
for our Sis Lani Moe's Birthday

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

The Seed of My Soul

What is my story? Why am I, who I am? Why am I so proud in being of Samoan heritage? Why am I still an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday-Saints? Why am I still not a license driver? Whyam I not where I'd like to be in my life but haven't completely given into giving up on everything? And I will tell you but first of all these are the questions that have crossed my mind. Beginning when I went to one of my favorite mission sister, Sister Brown's funeral a month ago from this past Sunday. Then to remember while recognizing that I've been back from my mission for 13 years these questions arose again. Now I have to be upfront when reflecting back to these last 13yrs. It was so easy to look at everything I had failed in, hadn't completed and fell from because I didn't really make the best choices. And due to those choices I experienced some very heart wrenching consequences. But this is what I know over all those almost depressing memories. What I know for myself today is that I'm still standing. I am still here. I am still fighting to not grow bitter about my life, fighting to still love others even if it's not given back to me freely and fighting to remaining on God's side.
And in that fight I am grateful for the many cheerleaders that have been on Team Ova & haven't left me to journey this path alone. Because in reality I know with a certainty it is so important to know that we have to not only help one another through this life. But to do it with more kindness, patience, courage, unconditional love and above all full honest forgiveness. Because being revengeful, spiteful, unforgiving and hateful will only hurt the person giving it more than anyone else. So it's not worth it. This post is for you who aren't happy, who aren't motivated and feeling extremely alone & down. Let the seed of your soul be faith in Christ & I promise you though life will through you the fiery darts of hell. You will survive as I have because you've taken the time to feed your faith versus your doubt & emptiness. Find yourself loved by God and you will find your purpose. Love YOU ALL O 

Monday, June 27, 2016

Don't Sleep On Me

It's funny to me that in this life we have so much to offer the world. But most often we get in our own way. Either because we don't believe enough in ourselves or we believe too much in ourselves but end up dumbing down ourselves because of the opinions of others. "So & so is gonna think my idea is dumb" or "So & so's idea is better than my own" etc. I am at a crosswords of knowing where I want to be and where I feel I'm standing so still in my life. I matters well be the statue of liberty. lol However the upside of how I'm currently feeling is this "I'm better than I was and I will become better than I am!!" Or at least I will die trying to live that way.

Just a couple of more days before we are past the half way mark of 2016. It's been somewhat of a hellish previous 6months. Refinement on many different levels that I've never really felt previously throughout my life. I find myself more prone to truly be where I need to be when I need to be there. I'm learning that people hate change & no one really is honest unless their comfortable in standing alone. 

I know who's for me & who is just pretending. The great thing about the whole thought of it all is that it's ok cuz God is always there to help me. The rest of 2016 is bound to be amazing. Til we meet again Sister Brown we love you!

Thursday, June 9, 2016


I am currently reading a self-help book by Devon Franklin and Meagan Good. You will know Meagan for her playing roles as leading lady in "Stomp the Yard", supporting actress in "You got Served" as Beautifullll & other urban movies. Devon you probably wouldn't know because he has been in the entertainment industry behind the scenes. Mostly known for producing "Jumping the Broom" movie which help connect himself and Meagan Good. They are a united couple now who are much in love & promoting their Christianity through this book the "Wait" in hopes to helping individuals understand the power of "Waiting" on holding off on having sex before marriage & other life milestones that they've experienced the benefits in waiting.

It's June 9,2016 and in revisiting how I've progress and haven't progress in the last 6months. I've come to recognize that in "Waiting" on reacting to certain situations and people. I've been beyond blessed. My muscles on being more patient, compassionate and forgiving has increased. And yet on the flipside. When I've allowed my emotions to get the best of me, poor behavior on the side of how others act and then my attitude of that behavior. I've seen those above attributes decrease and my levels of overreacting, anger to boarder liner rage consume me.

So what have I done to improve? How am I fixing my current messes? I am making a more active effort to have Heavenly Father heal me. I am taking myself out of projects that I feel I'm not giving my most effective self to and I am finding more time to want to meditate. Which starts off with doing my best to not take anything personal, less assuming and being more loving.

I have tons of broken relationships that need mending. I know tons of people who could careless in mending those relationships. But just like the woman on the beach among tons of starfish that were on the sandy shore and her picking them up one by one throwing them back into the ocean. Then asked by a passer byer why she was tryna save the starfish when there were so many. Would it really make a difference in going on to the next starfish? Would it really matter?

And as she gently picked up the next starfish and threw it into the ocean. She kindly replied "It made a difference and matter to that one." Just like that young girl. I personally don't know half the time why I do what I do, when I do it. Most times I just want to throw in the towel and be like the hell with being faithful, being the example or being the one others so easily mock. But in the same breathe in having those defeating thoughts I remember my God, my Savior and I push forward or in the instance of the last few months. I wait on the Lord and just trust that through all these trials and questioning why? I am reassured that it's for my good and for those who are to enter my life, their good as well. So be still, listen and never underestimate the love of the Lord for me. All things are working for the greater good of what's to come my way. In that I'm able to continue faith forward.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016


There is so much I could complain about but why do it?
Right? So I won't. Let's just say that opposition has been on it's all time high to say the least. So today let's talk about being "Still." In a world that is one always in a rush. I've found that the more time a person spends with themselves, focused on just being & enjoying their own company they will find greater clarity on choices that need to be made & a sense of peace that's 2nd to none. 

But there has to be a happy medium of alone time & time with others. Cause too much alone time will drive one crazy. I've since started a new group from the last time I posted. The group name is "Tasi O Le Alofa" translated from Samoan to English as "One Love." It's a group to be a resource to all communities of gender, race, religion and ages to find and build up their self-worth. I'm tired of being quiet about seeing people I love treat themselves as if their not good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough or worthy enough of being loved. Especially when they walk around feeling alone, stressed, angry and hurt about their past, present which causes them to feel hopeless about their future. So I started this group and for more info request to be added to our facebook group Tasi O le Alofa (One Love), instagram tasiolealofa24 or email us at
tasiolealofa24@gmail.com for more info. I know this group can help you & anyone in your life that comes to mind.